Chapter 1 - Dialogue Intro - Who is That Guy?
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"Damn! Wes, you look like a fucking Viking. Where have you been?"
"This cute barber did it. I just let him do his thing."
"Cool, where was that? He's got a good eye!"
"I can send you his number if you want."
"You know what? You can. How much did that cost?"
"I am not sure, though. He wouldn't let me pay."
"He wouldn't let you pay?"
"No."
"You fucked him, did you?"
"Maybe. Why? Is there some law against fucking cute-ass skilled barbers in the back of their shop?"
"Dude! You are a menace!"
"Why?"
"What is his name?"
"Colin? Cody? It started with C... I think."
"How did you save him on your phone?"
"Fuckboy barber."
"As I said, menace."
"I told you, Jim, it's different than with chicks. With guys, it doesn't have to be that complicated. Especially if they are imagining your cock down their throat the whole time they talk to you."
"Me-na-ce."
"My poor romantic buddy. I told you I would let you ride it anytime you change your mind."
"You wouldn't. You love me too much for that, and you love Diana. I will always remember that day at our wedding when you gave her your permission to make me happy."
"Dude, I was drunk! Stop mocking me. But you're right. I love you, so I want you to be happy, and she really is amazing."
"As I was saying."
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"By the way, Jim, that guy in the grey suit yesterday, who is that?"
"Mark? You've met him before. Why?"
"We have met?"
"Yes... he went to the same college and works on the sixth."
"How come I never noticed him?"
"Cos he's not gay, flashy, or cute for you? I don't know... Why?"
"I just think he's kind of cute."
"No, you don't."
"Why shouldn't I? Does he work out? He's got a nice tight ass."
"He's been cycling since high school, I think... What's going on?"
"Nothing, just I thought he was new, that's all."
"He is head of IT, Wesley. He's been there longer than you or me."
"Really? How old is he, anyway? Is he dating someone?"
"I don't know, around thirty-five, I think... And no, you know he's not since... Nooo! I know what's going on! You are evil, dude! You are the devil his mother warned him about!"
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"Yes, you do! You didn't care about his tight ass ever before. But when he said with confidence that he was waiting for sex until marriage, the gears in your head started turning! Admit that!"
"Why should I?"
"I know you, dude! That's sick."
"I just want to test his theory."
"What fucking theory, man? He's happy with his life as it is."
"Sure, I am not saying he shouldn't be. Just that maybe he should try it before deciding."
"That's quite a contradiction, in this case, Wes, don't you think?"
"Maybe. But still, do you think it's healthy to be a virgin past 30?"
"I think it's a choice one can make."
"Still..."
"Dude, no! Don't do that!"
"I am not doing anything... yet."
"I heard that. Seriously, he is a good guy, Wes."
"I am a good guy, too."
"The minute you would, with some miracle, get to pop his cherry, you'd forget he exists!"
"How do you know it won't be this fated love story you watch so many romcoms about with Diana?"
"Cos it's never with you. I lost hope for you to settle. I think you will screw around with twinks until you die."
"What a life. I could see that. Then I can move with you and Diana into some nice nursing home, and we can die together. Isn't that the most romantic thing you ever heard from me?"
"No, it's not. Just leave Mark alone."
"Don't worry, buddy, although... my computer has some difficulties, I think."
"Has some difficulties? Man, you could've made up something more believable."
"I don't know anything about computers, Jim... I just think mine is getting a bit slow. I should check it out."
"I am changing your name on my phone to 'Menace,' pal."
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Chapter 2 -- I find you interesting
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"Hey, Jim." I couldn't get it off my mind now. I turned from my screen to Jim sitting next to me. We worked in the standard open office, and people were around, so I slightly lowered my voice.
"Yeah?" Jim looked up.
"Are you sure he went to the college with us? I don't remember him at all."
"Stop it, Wes."
"No, seriously."
Jim looked around. No one was supposedly in earshot. "Leave him be. He really is a good guy."
"Just stop with it already. Did he?"
"Yes. Why?"
"I was just thinking about how to introduce myself. Old college buddies sound more plausible than a computer issue he will spot immediately if he opens my laptop."
Jim shook his head and pulled out his phone. He played with it a little and then showed me the screen. Above my number was in all caps, written ME-NA-CE!
I grinned. "I love it. But why the dashes?"
"Without them, it didn't seem accurately menacing."
I laughed, and Jim grinned also. "I hope you have no chance."
"Ouch... buddy, that just felt like a betrayal."
"No, that felt like a conscience."
"Well, my dear conscience, wish me luck. I am about to ask my old college buddy if he wants to join me for lunch." I stood up, realizing I didn't know his surname.
"Jim?"
"No." he didn't even raise his eyes this time.
"What's his surname?"
"You are a twisted, cruel man."
"That's a pretty long and awkward surname."
"Just look it up."
"Pretty please. You know I will go there anyway."
"You don't even know if he's gay, dude!"
"Well, it's about time to find out. When I stared at him yesterday, he didn't avert his eyes, so I believe there is a slight chance."
"Maybe he was staring at you thinking, what a weird stalker."
I pressed my hand on my chest in mocking offense. "How could you?!"
Jim shook his head. "Griffith."
I grinned. "You are the best."
"You are not. I don't approve of any of this."
"Can't hear you. I am starving. Bye"
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Where is the IT here anyway? I haven't been there since I started working here. I asked Bianca at the front desk, and she pointed me there.
"Hi, is Mark here?"
A young guy with curly hair looked at me with a neutral smile. "Which Mark are you looking for?"
"Griffith."