Missed Opportunity

People write things down for all sorts of reasons. A poet writes his poems, an author writes his novels and a journalist writes his columns. Each of them has his own motivation for doing so. But they all have one thing in common. They each want to share something, to get it out there, to get it off their chest. So, I've written this little roman a clef for many of those same reasons.

You know that old saying about not knowing or appreciating what you have until its gone? Well, that should be my life's credo. There have been so many things in my life to which that old cliché applies itself.

One incident in particular comes to mind because of a dream I had recently about something that actually happened to me. It was an erotic dream in which I relived part of the event but didn't recognize it until I woke. When I did awaken from the dream I had to jack off immediately. The images had come to life so vividly that I spent the rest of that day thinking about and remembering the incident that inspired the dream.

I was stationed at a Marine Corps air base in southern Japan. I was a very different person in those days. I was a little younger and a hell of lot more impetuous. But I was also a damn good Marine. I was always squared away and could do my job better than most. I had long ago learned that life was just easier that way.

Not long after arriving in Japan I was put in charge of my work center. Basically I did quality assurance inspections on the maintenance my men performed.

Eventually I grew bored with running the work center and finagled myself an office job in training, licensing and technical publications. I'll take an air-conditioned office job over getting greasy and dirty any day of the week.

I shared my office with another Corporal who was the actual training instructor. I mostly did paperwork and handled all the technical publication. I outranked him since I had been a Corporal longer than him.

One day Dave, the training instructor, was scheduled to teach a few classes to some squadron guys who had recently come to our base on a six month deployment from their base in southern Arizona. He stepped out of the office to run across the street to the convenience store, hoping to get back before the students arrived.

Normally, I have very little to do with the students, but Dave asked if I'd keep and eye out for them. Of course I said I would. Sure enough as soon as Dave left the first students started to arrive, so I had them fill out some preliminary paperwork. I immediately noticed that more than a few of these young Marines were quite good looking. Or maybe I was just horny that day, which for me is a fairly common condition.

There was one of them who really stood out among the rest. Not only was he good looking, but he was really squared away, meaning he had an immaculately pressed uniform, highly polished boots and a fresh hair cut. There was one other thing about him that really caught my attention. He had the most remarkable eyes that I've ever seen. They were a bright crystal blue that seemed to sort of sparkle and glow from within.

Now this guy was a Private First Class, which is two pay grades below Corporal so I figured he was pretty young and probably fresh out of boot camp. His face may have looked young and innocent but he surely had the body of a man.

"Alright Marines, I'm Corporal Brooks. Your instructor Corporal Mason will be back shortly. Meanwhile I'll need you fill out these forms and get them back to me before you leave today." I said, sounding very authoritative.

As I was explaining to them about the forms and the classes they'd be taking, I couldn't help but stare at the young Private First Class. His eyes were mezmorizing. Occasionally I looked around at the others, but always ended up looking back at this young PFC.

And as luck would have it, when they started to fill out the forms, the young PFC dropped his cover, which is military lingo for 'hat'. As he bent over to pick it up I got a spectacular view of butt. I popped a boner instantly. It was so round and perfect that the image was immediately seared into my brain. I had to force myself not to stare at him.

While we waited for Dave to get back they talked quietly amongst themselves. But then one of them apparently make a wisecrack to or about the young PFC that I'd been noticing. I didn't actually hear what was said, but I certainly hear the young PFC's response.

"Fuck you, you stupid motherfucker!" He shouted loudly as I watched the color rise in his cheeks and his beautiful crystal blue eyes change to a smoky gray color. He was really pissed. That was quite evident because he started in on another stream of obscenities which was enough to make anyone blush.

"Alright that's enough! Knock it off!" I said firmly.

That kid has got some temper, I thought to myself. He still looked furious.

"Sorry Corporal..." they both echoed.

Its common practice for junior Marines to address their seniors by rank and last name. But I never got off on that whole power trip like a lot of guys did when they started to move up in the ranks. But I also didn't take any shit from junior Marines either.

Finally Dave showed up and pointed them towards the classroom in the next building. But the young PFC came over to my desk and just stood there looking at me, not wanting to interrupt what I was doing.

"What's up? Is there something I can help you with?" I asked him. Dave stood there listening since he was the actual instructor.

"Excuse me Corporal, but this form asks for a driver's license number and well, my license is suspended right now." He said a little sheepishly.

Dave looked at me since this particular question had not come up before. And for this class each student did need to have a valid driver's license. I'd worked in training before so I knew there were a couple of ways to handle this situation.

"When will it be re-instated?" I asked him.

"In two weeks." He said.

Now I if I had wanted to be a dick about it I could have told him that he couldn't take the class without a valid driver's license. But I didn't.

"Well, just go ahead take the class for now and come back in two weeks. We'll get you all fixed up then," I told him.

He seemed very pleased with that and thanked me as though he thought I were doing him a special favor.

When they both left the office I quickly decided to sit in the class and follow them out. Something I often did when there were hotties in the class.

"Where are you going?" Dave asked me.

"I thought I'd monitor this class for Quality Assurance purposes." I told him.

"Didn't you just monitor this same class last week?" He asked.

"Just shut up and go teach the class." I chuckled, urging him along.

"Oh I get it, there must be some cute girls in this class." He laughed

He didn't know how close to the truth he was. There was someone who I thought was cute in this class but it certainly wasn't who he thought it was.

"Your students are waiting." I told him impatiently.

"Alright students, my name is Corporal Mason, I'll be your instructor today and most of you have already met Corporal Brooks here." He indicated to me standing at the front corner of the classroom.

"He'll be monitoring this class for Quality Assurance purposes, but he's also taught these classes before, so you can direct any of questions him or myself."

As Dave started the class I pulled up a stool and looked over the forms the students had given me. I noticed that the young PFC was not quite as young as I'd thought previously. In fact he was just a year and a few months younger than me. I was amazed.

Thinking on this, I looked up from clipboard and scanned the class for his face. It stood out immediately. There was definitely something about him that made him stand out in a crowd. Other than the fact that he was quite handsome and his eyes sparkled like jewels, there was also this almost translucent quality to his skin.

He wasn't pale, on the contrary, he looked very healthy, almost glowing. He saw me looking at him and smiled, then went on listening to Dave's lecture.

About halfway through the class I was called away. So I excused myself to Dave and the students. As I was about to leave I glanced at the not so young PFC, whose last name I now knew was Crass, and he gave me an almost imperceptible wave and another smile.

I smiled too, but more at myself for shamelessly flirting like that. I couldn't wait to get back to my room in the barracks, so I could stroke my rod thinking about PFC Crass.

As duty stations go, this was one of the better ones. The barracks itself was more like one of those drive up motels, with all the doors to the rooms opening out onto a walkway. They were three man rooms, but most of them only had two occupants. A few of the luckier guys didn't have to share at all. The best feature was that each room had its own private bathroom. A step up from most barracks I'd ever lived in.

I shared a room with another Corporal who worked in another shop. He turned out to be a great guy. But when I first moved in though we avoided each other like the plague. It only took a little while for us to become fast friends though. He was, hands down, the most considerate person I have ever lived with. Even to this day, I've still never lived with anyone like him.

Our room itself was probably the best appointed room on the whole base. We had all the comforts of home crammed into that living space. Each of us had our own stereo. His had one set of huge speaker, mine had two sets of smaller but really expensive speakers. I had my own television and VCR. And somehow he managed to find a really nice piece of carpeting, something almost no other room had. We had a mini-fridge, a table and chairs. All in all, it wasn't a bad setup. Not bad at all.

We definitely had the best combined entertainment center around, so people seemed to want to just come and hang out there a lot. It was like living in the most popular dorm room or frat house on campus. We always seemed to have friends and friends of friends hanging out, drinking and just listening to music or watching videos or whatever. My roommate Sean was a genuinely nice guy. Very easy going and a lot fun to get drunk with. Not too bad to look at either.

One day, while heading back to our room from somewhere, a meal or something I think, my roommate and I ran into one of his friends from work. I did a double take when I realized who was with his friend. It was PFC Crass, the good looking kid from class a few weeks ago. His face lit up with a big smile and his eyes started to twinkle when he recognized me.

Once inside our room we all grabbed a beer and listened to some tunes and talked. Crass and I fell into a very easy conversation as if we'd already been friends for a long time. We pretty much ignored my roommate and the other guy.

Crass started doing that thing with his eyes again. Mesmerizing me. And occasionally when there was a lull in our conversation he'd just continue to stare into my eyes for a long time. It kind of made me uncomfortable at first, so I'd look away. But then I just went with it and we'd lock eyes for short periods, silently, between topics. He was making me very hot.

During our conversation I found out all sorts of things about him. One of the most important details was that he was married. Although currently separated, the fact remained that he was a married man. He also told me about all the trouble he'd been getting into lately. He had in fact been a Lance Corporal, but had gotten busted back down to Private First Class, which explained why he was almost my age and still a PFC.

I did my best to console him and encouraged him to look toward the future and not worry about past deeds. I could tell he was experiencing some self esteem issues too, which may or may not have contributed to anger management problems. I could completely empathize with him. So I laid on the encouragements and more than a few compliments.

"Try to focus on where you're going and how you'll behave better from this point forward. You're a good looking, squared away young Marine. I know you'll be alright." I said to him.

I told him that I'd had friends at my last duty station who'd done far worse things and had come through it just fine. He seemed to be really taking my advice to heart and hanging on my every word. All the while those eyes of his were driving me crazy, making it difficult to concentrate.

Back in those days I never assumed anything and subtlty was lost on me. Even though somewhere in the back of my mind, I felt he was sending me all sorts of signals that he liked me in same way that I like him, I just couldn't bring myself to believe it was true.

Hell, I've met other people who have no qualms about staring openly at others in complete silence. But very few of them looked like this guy. And even though Crass was less than two years younger than me, I could see how he would look up to me, you know with a little brother's kind of admiration. I was rationalizing. Better safe than sorry.

After a while they decided to head back to their barracks which was way the hell on the other side of the base. That meant they'd have to hurry catch the shuttle or walk. Either way it was a long haul, so they left.

My roommate, Sean later told me all the rumors he'd heard about PFC Crass being a trouble maker. Most of which Crass had already divulged to me during our conversation in the room that day.

I told Sean that I thought Crass was probably a good kid who was just going through a rough patch right now. And that I thought he seemed like an alright guy. Sean admitted that he really didn't know Crass all that well and that I was probably right about him since I seemed to have made better friends with him than most of the guys that they worked with.

I thought it was odd that Sean had made that observation about us becoming fast friends. But it was true. Crass and I had made friends rather quickly and taken an instant liking to each other. And from what I heard, not many people really got along with PFC Crass because of his quick temper.

Sean and I continued to play host to our friends. Almost every Friday night and even sometimes during the week there was a small party of sorts in our room. Usually afterwards everyone would head over to the enlisted man's club, which was only a few yards down the road.

On one particular Friday after work Sean and I got our usual few cases of beer. I bought some Jack Daniels while he got some tequila. I don't recall if we'd planned anything special but for some reason that evening we ended up with quite a few more people than usual in our room. It was a real party.

Everyone brought beer. We had the mini-fridge completely full and stacks and stacks of cases in the shower stall of our bathroom. It was way out of control. Sean and I just looked at each other, shrugged our shoulder and continued partying.

We all sat around talking, playing drinking games and just generally having a good old time. The music was blasting and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. I was getting hammered in the drinking game.

Soon enough some of Sean's friends showed up at the door. And to my shock and surprise, who should be with them but PFC Crass. I hadn't seen or thought of him for weeks. Out of sight, out of mind. As soon as my eyes locked onto him my heart started to beat faster.

Until now I'd never seen him in civilian clothes. And man, oh man, what a treat it was! He had on a rather tight fitting black t-shirt and some very tight Levis which fit him really well.

Now I could clearly see that Crass had a classic v-shaped torso which tapered to an incredibly small waist. His arms were buff and you could see his sculpted pecs and abs through the shirt he had on. And his best feature, at least in my mind, his butt, it stuck out beautifully in those tight jeans.

He didn't see me right away because I sitting between two idiots who were shouting out new rules as they cheated at the drinking game. After looking around at all the faces in the room, his eyes finally locked onto mine and he broke into that great smile of his. I bowed out of the drinking game and almost killed myself trying to getting up from the table.

I was really surprised and really, really glad to see him. I told him so. He looked utterly delicious to me right then. On a side note, it seems that its okay for Marines to touch and fondle when they are drinking, but not too much. Sean and I played grab-ass and wrestled all the time when we drinking. Don't get the wrong idea about us though, we were just good friends. I never even considered having sex with Sean. That's a lie, but I digress...

Anyway, I suddenly lost all interest in everyone except PFC Crass. All of my attention was now focused on him and that great body of his. I hadn't noticed it before but he was like an inch and a half or two shorter than me. Perhaps that also lent to his illusion of youth. But his body was very well proportion and it was definitely the body of a man, albeit a youthful man, but definitely a man.

If you're wondering why I keep referring to him by his rank and last name, its simple, I just didn't know his first name. And he couldn't bring himself to break military protocol by using my first name or even just calling me by my last name like everyone else. I thought it was cute that he addressed me as 'Corporal Brooks'. I'm certain he told me his first name but I guess I forgot, so I just called him by his last name which was sufficient.

"What brings you guys to this side of the base so late in the day?" I asked Crass while getting him a cold one from the mini-fridge.

"There's a band playing at the enlisted club tonight."

"Oh right. Damn I had completely spaced on that. No wonder so many people showed up here for their pre-flight buzz today."

I chatted him up for a little while longer then showed him how to operate my stereo. Other people kept calling my name for this or that and I'd just nod or completely blow them off.

"Man, you guys have got a shit load of CDs." He said.

"Yeah, I think between us we must have about three hundred fifty or so." I told him.

The music was quite loud so I was glad that I had to lean in grab his shoulder to talk to him. He smelled good too. No cologne, just good clean all American male. At one point while I was leaning in close to say something to him I draped my arm around his shoulder. Instinctively he responded by putting his arm around my waist, but then he squeezed my side a little with his hand and that made me flinch and giggle.

Sean must have been watching the whole time because just then he came up to us with a couple of shots in each hand.

"Yeah, that's his big weakness, he's ticklish as a little girl." Sean said laughingly as he handed me a shot.

"Little girl?!" I said laughing, "I wasn't such a little girl when I kicked your ass the other day."

He offered the other shot to Crass but he declined so Sean and I toasted each other and drank them down. Somehow Sean managed to drag me into conversation with him and some other people. Then Dave from my office insisted that it was time for he and I to do another shot. I had quite a little buzz going.

Occasionally I'd glance out of the corner of my eye to see Crass still over there looking through the CD collection. He only spoke a few brief words to this person or that person as they passed him.

Eventually I noticed Crass heading toward the bathroom at the back of the room. And like everyone else I suppose I get a lot bolder when I'm buzzed.

I had some crazy ideas running through my head. So as covertly as possible I made my way back to the bathroom under the pretext of getting another case of beer from the shower.

Since we were all guys in there, Crass hadn't bothered to close the bathroom door. I had come along while he was in mid-stream and he glanced over his should to see me coming into the bathroom.