The following is a swords and sorcery fantasy, with elements of magic, adventure, monsters, and lots of crazy sex. Please don't take it too seriously, as its sensibilities are firmly tongue-in-cheek. My apologies to Howard, Tolkien, and Gygax.
All characters, locations, organizations, events, spells, unicorns, and fairies portrayed in this work are either products if the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, copyright 2021 by D. S. M. All persons involved are 18 years of age or older.
Chapter One: Into the Wild
Kasper Dunn lay awake in his bed, trying unsuccessfully to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be an eventful day and he knew he should rest, but his mind was racing. He was mentally preparing his backpack, running through check lists of items he would need for his great journey. Had he remembered to pack healing herbs in case he got injured? Divination crystals in case he got lost? An extra pairs of socks? He had to make sure he had everything he would need. Tomorrow was the day. Tomorrow he would become a man.
Well, maybe not tomorrow, specifically. But Kasper would be leaving his home in Port Toshiri to go on a pilgrimage to the monastery of Gai Sudor. There he would be anointed by the priests with the holy oil of Tarvo, a rite experienced by all young men in the land. When he returned to the little city on the Gulf of Ziag he would be a man in the eyes of the kingdom.
This was more than just a rite of passage. As a man, Kasper could finally begin his training to take his place at his father's side, a full partner in their shipping business. Kasper loved his father very much and he yearned for the day he could be truly useful to his endeavors. He would 'prentice with one of his father's captains, sail the seas of the wild Aerth, and have adventures! He would bring back spices and gold from faraway lands! Most importantly, he would be able to do more for his father than be an errand boy.
But before any of that could happen, Kasper would have to fall asleep. His mind drifted away from his preparations to the leagues of wilderness between Port Toshiri and the monastery. It would be a long journey, but not particularly dangerous. Most pilgrims took the Dothan road to the east, then north along the eastern coast to the monastery. It was a well known and well-traveled road. There were always the possibility of getting lost, or falling down, or running into bandits, but those chances were slim. Kasper had training with a sword, and knew some basic magics so he wasn't too worried. There was even a part of him that hoped he might run into a monster or two!
When Bollar Rast, one of the captains in his father's fleet, heard Kaspar was preparing for his pilgrimage, he called the youth to the cabin of his ship, The Griffin. The captain was quite fond of Kasper, and wanted to give him a gift before he left port. Rast was a great bear of a man, tall, broad of chest and thick of arm. He had fiery red hair and a braided beard that Kasper envied. When Kasper arrived, the large man took him in his arms and gave him a bug hug.
"Kasper m'boy!"
"Hello Captain."
"I heard you were leaving on your pilgrimage next month. Alas, I'll be across the waters, but I wanted to give you this.
He handed the youth a book.
"What's this Sir?"
"That is a copy of 'Wyn and Dward's Bestiary'. Study it well! It just might save your life when you are out in the wilderness!"
Kasper thanked him for the generous gift before taking his leave. And he took the handsome captains advice to heart. 'The Bestiary' was written by world famous dwarven biologists. The book detailed the various creatures one might encounter in the wild world. From imps to dragons, to things without name, Kaspar was enthralled by the strange monsters. He read the book from cover to cover many times over the following month. While he knew he would likely run into nothing more dangerous than the occasional band of thieving pixies on his pilgrimage, he still felt it was best to be prepared.
After hours of restlessness, Kasper's eyes finally closed and he drifted off into a fitful to sleep. Thoughts of monsters and checklists filled his dreams.
Kasper was up well before dawn. Too excited to be tired, he ran from his small bedroom downstairs to the kitchen where he found his father and grandmother waiting. He father was checking his pack and his grandmother was busy at the stove.
The older man opened his arms wide in greeting. "There he is!" he boomed. Werner Dunn never said anything when he had the opportunity to bellow. "The day of his pilgrimage! Let me look at you boy!" He grabbed Kasper in a rough bear-hug.
Kasper was a good looking youth. Tall for his age, slender but well defined by his training and his work. He had blonde hair that hung to the nape of his neck, a length that his grandmother said was entirely too long to be respectable. His eyes were the blue of the sea, and had caught the attention of many of the ladies of the city, and quite a few of the men.
For his part, Kasper felt he was too skinny, too youthful looking, and entirely too clumsy. He spent his days around the port and enjoyed the rough and tumble sailors as they brought their ships into the docks. He marveled at their agility as they flew across the rigging, and admired the way their muscles would bulge and move as they worked. He hoped that he could be like them one day. Kasper's father had been slender in his youth too. Years of working as a sailor, then a ship captain, had shaped Werner into a big barrel of a man. Kasper had hoped he would follow his father's example and would fill out as he got older.
"Dad, you're squeezing me too tight!"
His father laughed and let him go. "Sorry, son. It wouldn't do to send you out into the world with a cracked rib!"
Kasper sat down at the table. His grandmother brought over a bowl of steaming porridge. "My little boy. I can't believe you are old enough to make the pilgrimage. It seems like I was just changing your little nappies."
Kasper blushed. "Grandma-"
"Now you eat every bite of this. It will give you strength." The older woman sighed. "I never understood this pilgrimage foolishness. Dangerous and stupid if you ask me."
"Oh now, mother. All boys make the pilgrimage. It's perfectly safe. This isn't exactly the Northlands, you know."
"You don't see us women folk trekking halfway across the kingdom!"
Kasper smiled at the now familiar argument.
"That's because it's a guy thing, mother."
"It's because us women have more sense."
Kasper heard his father "Harrumph" as he gulped down the last of his porridge. "I better get going."
"That's my boy. I'll walk with you!"
After a hug and a few tears from his grandmother, Kasper walked out the door, his pack on his back. It was the last time he would leave his house as a boy. When he returned, he would be a man.
The father and son walked and talked until they reached the great gate in the outer wall. Kasper looked to the road that led out of the city. He could almost feel the wild world calling out to him. His father put his hand on Kasper's shoulder. "Before you go, son, I have something for you." He reached down, and unbuckled his sword from his belt. "I want you to take this with you."
Kasper was surprised. It was his father's best sword. "Really?"
