"Ellie just dumped me," Tyler complained. He picked at his fingernails. He sniffed, then flicked the screen of his phone back on. "Through a freaking text."
"Oh?" Danny said between french fries. "I thought you didn't like her that much anyway."
"That's not the freaking point," Tyler grumbled. He sighed, then picked up a fry and ate it. "It's just a shitty way to do it."
"Why'd she break up with you?" Danny asked, leaning forward to take the phone. He read the display. I think we should break up. It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry. Don't text me again. "You're better off without her," he said with a snort. "I can't believe she used the whole 'it's not you it's me' trope. At least have the balls to say why. I never really did like her."
Tyler frowned. He was good looking, but Danny knew that already. Short blond hair, a perfect nose and cheek bones that complimented it, stunning brown eyes with flecks of gold. Tyler was probably the hottest senior, and in Danny's opinion, possibly one of the hottest men in the whole school.
Despite that, despite having girls practically throwing themselves on his dick, Tyler couldn't seem to keep a girl longer than two months. It didn't make sense to Danny, Tyler was awesome. He was funny, handsome, wicked smart. He scored the highest in their grade on the SATs in the school, and in the 92nd percentile in the nation. It was a mystery to him why girls didn't seem to see how amazing Tyler was.
"I don't get it," Tyler complained. "She didn't even have the balls to break up to my face. In a freaking text message."
Tyler was upset, even though he was planning on breaking up with her anyway. The principal of the matter, maybe?
They'd been friends forever, like, since the third grade, when Danny's family had moved into town. They just clicked, like that, the first time they met. "Don't let it get to you, man," Danny soothed. "Why don't you come over to my place, my folks are going out for the weekend, so I'll have the whole house to myself anyway. We can watch bad movies or play games or whatever you want, for the whole weekend. Whatever you wanna do."
Tyler took too big of a bite of his burger, with nearly half of it in his mouth. His cheeks were all puffed up like a hamster, and Danny couldn't help but laugh. Tyler laughed, too, spitting it out onto the foam plate on his tray.
"Gross, dude!" Danny laughed. "You still gotta eat it, I'm not buying you another one."
Tyler picked up the sorta-chewed burger bite and pushed it towards Danny, but he caught his hand, already ready for his antics. "You eat it! Come on, baby bird!"
Danny pushed his hand away and they were both laughing. Tyler threw half of the bite in his mouth and swallowed, barely chewing it at all. "You're gonna choke, and that's gross. Just for the record."
Tyler laughed. "You said you weren't gonna buy me another one. Waste not, want not." He finished the statement with the other pre-chewed bite. He said something with his mouth full, absolutely incomprehensible.
"Whatever, dude," he said, sipping at his diet coke. "You're better off without her, anyway. She was a real bummer, like, so negative all the time. Did she ever have anything positive to say?"
Tyler swallowed, then ate another fry before he continued. "Man, you have no idea what you missed out on, my pre-chewed burger was delish. Possibly a delicacy. No, not even possibly. Definitely a delicacy. There's still some left, I could make some for you..."
"Hard pass," Danny said, hands up, a smile on his face. This was something he loved about Tyler, he was just... Tyler. Tyler chewed a bite of his sandwich and opened his mouth to show him, offering it again. Danny couldn't help the snort of laughter that escaped him, nearly sending the fries in his mouth to his tray.
"Not really," Tyler said after he swallowed. "The positive thing. She was pretty negative. Like, such a downer. I mean, she could find the rainy day in everything. I'd take her to the movies, to see some freaking romantic comedy-"
"Blarhg," Danny interjected.
"Exactly! The things we do to get off. You know, I'd take her to these things, and she'd complain the whole time, like, listen, bitch, I don't even wanna see this movie. I don't wanna spend all this money at a restaurant you hate before we even order. Let's just go back to my place when my parents aren't home, fuck, and then afterwards we can get some pizza. Girls are so much work. It's nearly not even worth it."
Danny laughed. "Yeah, but just masturbating isn't as good. Not like a good blowjob."
"Dude," Tyler chastised. "When's the last time you had a girl that was any good at BJs?"
Danny sighed. "My last two girlfriends didn't even wanna touch me, much less blow me. Girls are so double-standarded."
"I don't think that's a word."
Danny shrugged. "Doesn't matter, you freaking know what I mean. Girls expect us to go down on them, and don't get me wrong, I love eating puss, but I'd just like a little reciprocation, ya'know?"
Tyler sighed, looking at his empty tray as if it betrayed him for not holding more food. "Yeah, I do. You're a kickass boyfriend, all your exes are idiots. I'd blow you." He stood up with a snort and grabbed his tray, dodging three freshmen as they walked by him. "I'd even swallow, cause that's how awesome you are. Freaking double standards. You're sure your parents'll be gone all weekend?"
Danny stood up, taking his identical tray and following Tyler. "Yeah, they're going to some bed and breakfast. Gag. They even invited me, but why would I wanna go? Man, I wish I had a girl. I guess we'll be bachelors together, at least until you get another confession."
"Nah, I'm done with girlfriends for a bit. I'm gonna take a break. Anyway, you have track after school?"
They threw away the foam plates and stacked their trays just as the bell rang. "Yeah, til five. We have a meet coming up next week, so we have extra practice after school. I think Coach Wellman knows by now that we aren't coming in on the weekends if we don't have to."
Tyler laughed and they walked out of the cafeteria in a stream of teenage angst and body odor. "I'll pick you up after. Call me if you get out early."
Track was hard, it was too hot for April, and his sweat-sticky clothes clung to his body. He thought about showering really quick, but some of the guys in track were weird, and he really hated showering in public anyway. Also, Tyler was already waiting for him, and he didn't really wanna hang out with the track team anymore.
He packed his bag, then kept his towel out. He'd sit on it in the car, so he didn't get Tyler's seat all sweaty. His legs ached, but he still forced himself to jog to Tyler's car, feeling bad he'd made his friend wait, but he pissed Coach Wellman off by being distracted, earning him a half a mile extra after practice.
Tyler was reading something on his phone when he popped open the passenger door and draped his towel down. "Yo. What're you doing?"
"I didn't get a shower, Coach Wellman was on my ass today, made me run laps, fucker," he complained as he climbed in, throwing his bag in the backseat.
"Man, you smell," Tyler commented, turning the car on.
"Sorry. I was gonna shower. I can go back and shower. I just didn't want-"
"Nah, man," Tyler interrupted. "It's not bad, your deodorant is working. You just smell like, sweaty. It's all good. Don't worry about it, you can shower when we get to your house. What time are your parents leaving?"
"They left this morning. House is all ours until Sunday afternoon. Your mom's cool with it, you spending the weekend?" He rolled down his window as Tyler pulled out of the school's parking lot, the warm breeze evaporating the sweat, cooling him down. "That feels nice."
