Danny skipped classes the next day, he could barely get himself out of bed. How Tyler had treated him after they had sex made him feel emotionally broken, and physically sick to his stomach. He'd started shaking about halfway back to his dorm, and he hadn't stopped until he fell asleep much, much later.
When his phone rang it sent his stomach into his throat, waking him in a bad part of his sleep cycle. He answered it by reflex alone, still half asleep "Um, hi?"
"Hey Danny, how are... Are you still in bed? Are you sick?"
He sighed and sat up, regretting answering it, but it was too late now. "Yeah, ma, I guess. I'm not feeling good today, I think I mighta caught something going around."
"Do you need... I hate this distance, I can't pick up meds and drop them off for you." His mother sounded frustrated. "Is there anything you need? I can mail stuff, if you need it, or your dad and I can come down there next weekend, this one is shot, your dad has a work thing."
"I mean, I have medicine, it's okay. But, I'm never gonna say no to snacks and stuff like that, if you're sending."
"Anything on your list in particular?"
"Oatmeal creme pies? Flamin cheetos? Or maybe a bunch of little bags of assorted chips? The stuff at the canteen is so expensive here."
"I'm writing it down, but it sounds like the usual. What am I getting for Tyler?"
His mother's words felt like a physical kick to his gut. "Nothing."
There was a brief pause. "Nothing? Did something happen?"
"Tyler... No, nothing. It's fine. He said..."
His mother sighed. "Danny, I know it's hard on you both, the distance and the new environment, but don't forget he's lost everything else, we're all he has now."
Danny sighed. "I know," he growled, trying not to break down into tears again. "I know, but he's the one who..." He choked up a bit, then swallowed it down. "We got into a fight last night, he said he doesn't want my handouts."
Another pause on his mom's side, then a long, slow exhale. "Tell me about it?"
"Mom, what can you do there that I can't do here? I don't know how you could help with this."
She clicked her tongue. "I'm a mother, Danny. I've known Tyler since forever now, right? Maybe he needs to talk to someone who isn't you? Maybe he needs a mother right now? I can't imagine how isolated and alone he feels."
"He did it himself!" Danny snapped. "He, we, like, it was good, it was really good, then he turned nasty, like, for no reason. I mean, his roommate is a jerk, and that was happening in the background, but... I love him so much, mom. I feel like..." He stopped talking, holding his breath again to keep back tears.
"Danny," his mother said, her tone soothing his frazzled nerves a little. "I know you do. I know how much he loves you, too. Honestly, your dad and I should've seen this coming, you and Tyler together, a long before you two came out to us, but it makes sense. You've always been thick as thieves. I know he loves you, Danny."
"What if he doesn't, what if he's realized-"
"Danny," his mother cut him off. "He does. You said you were good, right? And that you two got into a fight?"
She waited for him to answer. "Yeah, but-"
"No, just listen, okay?"
He inhaled slowly and blew it out his nose. "Yeah," he relented, feeling surly.
"We don't know how it feels, to lose everything you've ever had, then to be thrown into an environment that is foreign, and apparently his roommate is kind of a loser? And, he's there on scholarship, right? So his grades need to be good. You don't know what he's going through."
"I want to! And obviously I can't if he won't talk to me!" he growled.
"You know it's not always that easy to talk about the stuff that's hard."
It knocked the air out of his sails, memories of him and Tyler awkwardly trying to come out to his parents for a whole week springing to mind. "Sorry ma, I'm just so, he was so, he was such a dick last night."
"Language, Daniel," his mother chastised. "Give him some time to cool off. In the meantime, take some medicine and get back to sleep, I'll get working on a care package. It'll work out between the two of you, it always does."
"I hope so, I really do, but this feels different, everything is different. I miss him so much, we never see each other. Nevermind, I'm just feeling it a lot right now." He sighed again. "Thanks ma, I, ah... I miss you and dad, too. Kinda more than I thought I would."
"We miss you, too. It's so weird here, too quiet without you and Tyler underfoot." She chuckled. "It's so weird, to be empty nesters now. Your dad and I feel too young to be this old." She snorted.
"Well, we'll come home on breaks and stuff," he assured, then soured. "Or, at least I will. I don't know if Tyler will wanna..."
"Oh hush. You know this is just a kink in the hose. You'll get it straightened out and it'll be good again."
He huffed. "If you say so."
"You're not feeling well, so get some rest, it'll seem less dramatic when you're feeling better. Can I order food to be delivered to you at least?"
"Nah, I'm good. I'm not hungry anyway, and I do have some cans of soup in here, so if I'm feeling better I'll have one of those. Love you, mom."
"Love you, too, Danny. Get some sleep, let me know how you're feeling later." He hung up and curled back into bed, but now he was feeling restless. He hadn't lied, he did feel sick to his stomach still, but he hadn't been telling the truth exactly, either.
He pulled out his physics text and started working on the stuff the syllabus told him he missed by not going to class, but his mind kept wandering back to Tyler, thinking about what it must feel like to him, the complete isolation and uncertainty. At first it pissed him off, but the more he thought about it, the more worried for Tyler he grew.
