The cock that was buried deep in my ass felt so much better than the fleshy dildo I'd used to prepare myself for this moment. He was reaching into places I'd never felt before. The sensation was disturbing, a little uncomfortable, and as arousing as all fuck! My little cock was as hard as it had ever been, and I kept trying to get him deeper into me.
"Fuck me, Paul!"
"Drill me, man!"
"Give it to me!"
He began to understand how badly I needed him to pile-drive my ass and he took over. My language skills disintegrated and all I could do was grunt and moan and howl. He was banging me in every sense of the word and I loved the pain and all the other sensations because they meant he was close to shooting his hot cum up my ass.
I moved from holding still to becoming an active participant. Every thrust of his was met by a thrust from me; his balls were bouncing against mine and I loved the pain of it. His rhythm was hard, fast and deep and then, in a moment, I felt that little hitch where it changed and I knew I was about to get my reward!
"Oh yeah, Paul! I want it. I want your cum. Fill my ass! Cum in my ass! Bury your cock in my ass and let it loose!" He slammed up in me and as his breathing changed, I felt his cock begin to jerk and soon his hot jets of cum were flooding my ass, stirring up my bowels. He collapsed on top of me as spurt after spurt left him.
"Oh, my friggin' god!" He exclaimed. "You drained me, motherfucker! I can't believe how hard you like it!"
"Got any friends hung like you, be sure to spread the word. You found a boy toy who loves to take on big cocks. Give 'em my number. Hell, bring one with you next time!"
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When I "crossed the line" and gave in to my urges to suck cock, I was sure that was all I would ever do. I'm the classic case; first, it was "I'll just try it once to see if I like it." And after that first time, I told myself that was all I needed - that quick meeting in a men's room where I sat on a toilet and a guy came into my stall, dropped his fly and stuck out his hard dick. I touched it and the sensations were amazing. I opened my mouth and took it in and was amazed by the feel of it, the taste of it, the sensations of it. It was hard and soft and hot all at once. When he came in my mouth, I swallowed it - after all, if I wanted women to do it, I had to know what it was like, right?
And it was like nothing I'd ever imagined. After he zipped up, he grunted a "thanks, faggot" and slipped out of that stall. I left, still tasting his cum in my mouth, vowing that I'd done it and was done with it. Ha! Now I can laugh at my own naivete, but back then I was shocked and struggled with my thoughts and feelings when I found myself once again in that men's room, hoping to find another cock to suck. And then, again, when presented with one, it was as if I had been hypnotized by a waving flesh snake - all I wanted was to suck him off and have him cum down my throat. Just one more, one time - except as soon as the first guy was done, another took his place and once again I sucked him off. And the next guy, and the next. I don't really remember how many guys I sucked off that second time, but by the time there weren't any more to suck, there wasn't really any doubt that I was a confirmed cocksucker. And, I was certain that that was all I was.
After all, even thinking about getting my ass fucked would mean I was somehow gay. And I wasn't gay. Hell, I was married and had kids. That proved I wasn't gay, right?
I dreaded getting my ass fucked. But at the same time, I began to get the sense that most guys would settle for a blowjob, but they really wanted ass. But if I gave up my ass, then what would that mean about me? I was struggling with all of that, constantly wondering about it, and then came that dream.
I dreamed that I was getting my ass fucked. Reamed. Banged. Big hips were driving big dicks as hard and deep into me as I could get them. It was my first wet dream in thirty years! At that point, I realized that like it or not, I would do whatever I needed to get what I wanted.
At that point, I invested in a nice enema kit (if there really is such a thing, I suppose spending a few more bucks to get sturdier tubing and well-connected hoses makes it nicer.) and began to shave my private areas regularly. I'd had that done in the hospital once or twice, so I started with clippers to get the bulk of my pubic hair off, and then used a rotary razor so I didn't nick something. Now my pubes were as smooth as they were before I hit puberty. Made my five-inch dick seem bigger, so I got a charge out of that. I've kept things well-manicured ever since.
The next issue I had to deal with was finding big cocks. It might seem odd to you (it certainly did to me) but despite the fact that there are plenty of us cock-sucking size queens, not every dude with a salami-like schlong is interested. Seems like I remember growing up and all I could think about was getting off, so I can't quite understand the reluctance. It stopped me at first. But I persisted - I was determined, after all.
The death of Craigslist.org's personals was a real blow (in the painful sense.) I was online with that in every city I visited, and all the time when I was at home. I slowly developed my approach to securing meat.
My first attempt almost got me kicked off. I decided I would post and simply ask for what I wanted. I guess I was a little too graphic:
"Hey dudes! Are you hung? Are you horny? Want your own dedicated cocksucker? Willing to let me practice my deep throat on your massive meat? No strings attached. No reciprocity asked. Sit back, get hard however you do, and let me do the rest. And yes, I love to swallow! I can come to you so you can cum."
I thought it was pretty out there and inviting. Unfortunately, the "admins" never let it go online. So, I tried again.
"Looking for well-endowed young men (over 21, at least) who are hard to please. (I really liked that double-entendre, right?) Let me come visit and relieve your excitement. I won't give up until you are satisfied, and I'm learning to go deep."