I was 19 years old when I returned home from college in the summer of 1976. A lot about me had changed in the nine months I had been away, both physically and emotionally.
Leaving home the previous August a pudgy kid who had spent his teenage years unsuccessfully chasing girls, I was now a fairly well built young man who had discovered a new world when seduced by an older man, and had enjoyed several other relationships with men during that freshman year at college.
Now I was back home, where finances were to force me to stay for the rest of my education, and eager to continue to explore my new found desires.
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Chapter 1. Realizing what I liked.
When I opened the door of the bar and walked in, it felt like every eye in the place was on me. Part of this was my own paranoia, walking into a gay bar for the first time in my life. Another part of it was real, because I was getting looked over by a good percentage of the crowd.
I was fresh meat, I suppose. I also didn't look bad either. Nervously I looked around and hurried to the far corner of the bar, where there was an open stool. I ordered a beer, and already had my ID out when the bartender asked for it, giving it and me a careful look before serving me.
That I was used to, having a young looking face. My having transformed my body from the pudgy 18 year old I had been when I left my hometown this time last year, to the fairly well built 19 year old I had become, made me seem more my age.
In the dimly lit bar here, I was definitely one of the younger patrons, and the first couple of guys that came up to me were my age or slightly older. I was polite but distant, and not only because I was nervous.
My first experience with another man had been with somebody much older, and there were parts about that time that excited me a great deal. There was something about being with an older man that I wanted to experience again.
Tentatively, I looked in the mirror and the people in the crowded establishment. As I did, my eyes locked in on someone who was engaged in a conversation, but had been staring at me all along.
My first instinct was panic, as I realized who it was behind me. Being seen in a gay bar by someone I knew was a shock, and the feeling only lessened when I realized that, after all, he was there too.
It was WHO it was, that was the greatest shock of all. Never in a million years would I have imagined seeing this man in the place. Perhaps it wasn't who I thought it was, I thought to myself. Possibly just someone who looked like that person I was thinking of. After all, it had been years since I had seen him.
All doubt was gone as I watched the man excuse himself from the conversation he had been in. The familiar gait as he walked was the giveaway; slow and simian-like, it had been one of the reasons he had been 'blessed' with his nickname, along with his incredible physique.
I felt the beefy hand on my shoulder a second before I heard that deep bass voice resounding in my ears, removing all doubt from my mind who it was. The Apeman.
Chapter 2. The Apeman.
Paul Karl was his real name. Mr. Karl was what we had used in his class, out of respect and fear. He was the wrestling coach and an assistant coach of the football team at our school after the school day ended, and a gym teacher the rest of the time.
A more imposing figure you could not imagine, especially considering that he was only about 5'8", a good couple of inches shorter than myself. It was his body that got him all the respect and fear. He didn't have a bit of fat anywhere on his outrageously well developed body, and from the inhumanly thick neck down he was chiseled like a statue. Mr. Karl's arms hung down low, and his slightly bowed legs gave him an ape-like look when he walked, but I never knew of anybody who ever had the guts to call him by his nickname.
"Timmy, is that you?" Mr. Karl asked as that hand clamped down on my shoulder, swiveling me around on my stool to face him whether I had planned to or not.
"Mr. Karl!" I answered, and my hand disappeared inside of his.
"Well, I could ask what a boy like you is doing in a place like this," Mr. Karl bellowed over the jukebox.
"I guess I could ask you the same thing," I said timidly as Mr. Karl slid into the space next to me.
"Been a while, hasn't it?" he asked, and I agreed that it had been about five years since my traumatic experiences in his class.
In retrospect, it had not been that bad for me, especially compared to some of the less athletic kids in the class, who suffered the brunt of his abuse. I was average enough at sports to get by, and so that part of the class wasn't so bad. It was at the end of the class that things turned horrible for me.
Chapter 3. The showers.
For some reason, the school was gung ho about kids taking showers after gym class. I thought it was absurd, because after you got changed into your gym clothes and got to the field or gym, there was little time left to work up a sweat.
How I dreaded walking that walk into the shower room, which was so bright and completely wide open. Everybody could see everybody else, and there was nowhere to hide. Mr. Karl would be there at the outside of the drying area, checking off names as we went in.
I remember the first time I was stuck taking a shower with the rest of my classmates. Being so young and ignorant, I assumed that I was like all the other boys. As I casually glanced around me, I noticed that was not the case. There was certainly a difference.