My Beginnings

I was 19 years old, and a good friend of mine and I were very close. I liked him a lot. Part of me thought about him all the time and I was sure that I liked him in a much different way. I liked girls and had "dated" a few, kissed but hadn't had sex with them, but Frank was different. He and I laughed together, hung out together, fished together, and spent a lot of time together. He treated me differently too. He watched out for me. I was skinny back then and he was tough and strong, so if there was trouble, he took care of it and made sure that I didn't get hurt. He was also a year older than me.

This one particular weekend over the summer, between our freshman and sophomore year of college, Frank and I were out on his dad's boat "fishing". I put fishing in quotes because we weren't. Frank had scored some beer and a joint and wanted to have fun, so out in the water there are fewer eyes. After a beer or two we were both feeling very good. Frank lit up the joint and I was feeling lightheaded and giddy in no time. I wanted to kiss him, but couldn't get the courage. I was feeling that I might be gay and was wondering if he had similar feeling towards me.

He laughed and stood up on the stern of the boat and pulled out his cock to pee and asked me to keep watch if someone was getting close. I couldn't keep my eyes off of his cock. It was much bigger than mine. It hit me then that in all the years that we'd hung out and been friends that I hadn't seen it before. When he turned back to put it away, he saw that I was looking. He kept it out and sat down. He asked me, "Do you like looking at cock?"

I nodded, yes. I tried not to look at it, but I couldn't help myself. Every few minutes I found myself staring at it. He laughed about that a lot that day. He asked me if I had ever touched one other than my own. I shook my head no. He told me to touch his.

I was like, "Really?" and then I moved closer and put my hand around it. I remember it feeling warm and fleshy, it wasn't hard. I smiled and he laughed. He reached into a box and pulled out a gay magazine and handed it to me. I flipped it open and was shocked. There were big naked men doing all sorts of things to each other. As we looked, Frank's cock started getting larger and hard. Mine was too in my pants and I knew then that I liked boys as much as girls.

I had jerked off, what boy hadn't. I looked at Frank and he was starting to jerk right there with me watching. He asked me if I wanted to do it for him. I said yes and used my hand to take over for his. It was bigger than mine and it was very hard and hot. He took the magazine and as I stroked him he was looking through it. Then he said, "Here," and showed me a picture of oral sex. I remember feeling, "Oh my God. He was asking me to blow him. Could I do it? Should I do it? How would our lives be after? Was blowing him going to make me the girl in the relationship? Would blowing him make me a sissy? Did I really want this?"

I looked at Frank and he nodded. I leaned over and tasted a cock for the very first time. It felt weird to be doing, but somehow it felt okay too. As I got used to the size and feel in my mouth I did it better. I wrapped my lips around him and moved my head like I had seen it done. It wasn't long before he was gasping and then shooting large spurts of cum into my mouth. I didn't know what to do, but he said, "just swallow it," so I did. I had tasted mine, out of curiosity, but this was different, better. It was an odd feeling when the cum hit the back of my throat and mouth and tasting its sweetness and saltiness and creaminess all at once. I wasn't sure if that was just the emotional content talking. Frank put his cock away satisfied and went to drinking a beer and talking as if none of what just happened, happened.

I felt odd having just done that and then Frank acting as if nothing had happened. That we didn't just have like sex. That I didn't just blow him. That in a way it meant nothing to him. I didn't know what to do or say, so I just went along with it.

A few days later Frank called and said that his parents were going out for the night and wouldn't be back until real late. Did I want to hang out, his dad left us some beer. I said sure. We were watching tv and drinking the beer when he asked me, "Remember the other day on the boat? Did I want to do that again?"

This time I knew what he was asking and what he wanted. I said sure. He took his pants off and right there in their living room on the couch I sat next to him and took his soft cock into my mouth and worked it hard. I think he made a comment about me practicing, but I hadn't been. He grew big and hard and this time it took longer for him to cum. His cock seemed so much manlier than mine did. It had more hair and it looked like the ones in the mags. I did like seeing it. I did like tasting it and doing this. When he came this time and he did. Big pulses of it and again I swallowed it all.

This became the pattern for us. He wouldn't talk about it at all, he didn't even want to talk about it with me and told me to tell no one, but on those alone times he usually ended up shoving his cock into my mouth. I fell in love with Frank. I figured out that he was just using me for the orgasm and that was okay with me. He would fall in love with me someday too.

Franks birthday is in Nov. By that time I had been stealing my sister's and his sister's panties. He loved seeing me in them. I only wore them for him and we had them stashed in a few places. Looking back now it seems odd to have done. For his birthday I wanted to something special for frank. I had been using my fingers for months to get my ass into feeling something in it and moving around. When I went to the bathroom I would place one and work up to three fingers into me, up to the knuckles and pump them in and out. I didn't want to not be ready.

I told him that I had a special gift and that we had to be alone for a while. He set it up for us to be at his grandmother's house. He had keys and I met him there. I quickly took off my clothes and he was happy to see me. I was wearing panties. They were my first pair all my own. I bought them. He loved it. He thought he was there for a blow job, but I handed him the jar of Vaseline with a smile.

He knew right away what I was offering and smiled and asked if I was sure. I said yes. For him, yes. I took his hand and led him to his grandmother's bedroom. I turned to him, said I love you, and started undressing him. By the time he was naked, he was hard. I took the Vaseline and using my fingers spread it liberally in my crack and hole. I then sucked on him for a moment or two to get him rock hard and ready.

I then knelt, like in the magazines and he climbed up behind me. He patted my ass and ran his hands all over me. I was instantly hard and loving every second. All my fingers did nothing to prepare me for this. It hurt, but a lot less than I thought it would and prayed that my fingers did the trick. The deeper he shoved it in the more it hurt. I hadn't been able to go that far. He was in and had started humping me. The pain subsided some, and I knew that deep inside if I let it continue, that next time it would feel better. I bit my tongue and rode it out.

I think I was crying, but doing what needed to be done. A few more thrusts and I felt him shiver and then the heat inside of me. He shoved deep and a few more times and then he was pulling out. He had some shit and blood on his cock and looked at it. I ran and got a washrag and soap and water and washed him lovingly. He thanked me for a great birthday present and then walked out to get something to drink. Again I was left embarrassed and ashamed and in love.

It was like that for almost 2 years, and then Frank graduated college. Things changed when he showed up for Thanksgiving break with a girlfriend. I had prepared to see him and was shocked when he introduced us.

Frank taught me that there are men that will do and say anything to get to the orgasm. He was my first, but not my last. I went through a string of guys just like that. I became the slut, the cock whore, the bitch. I learned to like the look of the orgasm on them and the looks and praise leading up to the sex. A lot of guys love seeing the fem lingerie on me and I do look good. Hearing that and seeing the orgasm, which I did to them is enough.