I combat-parked the camper, facing out, ready to rock & roll if needed. Next I shut off the engine, causing the radio to cut out in the middle of some news update about a prison escape. I couldn't care less, I was in Three Horses National Park in the physical world, and Heaven in the mental one.
Don't get me wrong, I dearly love my wife & kids... but God, sometimes you need some time away. My wife fully agreed, and had an arrangement such that, on rare occasions, one of us could have a weekend by our self while the other took care of the kids. And I was about to have what I wanted.
I'd arrived late, the sun already setting in gorgeous hues of red, orange, pink... If I were an author maybe I could add some more. Magenta? Mauve? Lavender? Pff, I thought, it's just a fancier way of saying red, orange, and pink. Something you can pat yourself on the back over while you smugly sniff your own farts and sip a $20 cappuccino you could make yourself for under 50 cents daily if you had a $30 moka pot and a $5 milk frother.
This wasn't my first camping trip, my wife & kids knew me to be a bit outdoorsy. They had never expressed any interest in it, making it the perfect refuge for me. They'd be surprised as hell if they had any idea that I didn't know shit about camping. Les Stroud can survive in the arctic winter with nothing but a loincloth, a stick, and a few rocks. I couldn't survive the goddamned mosquitoes if I were to camp out in the back yard on a warm summer night. The tent and assorted gear were for show, I always tossed a bit of dirt and leaves on the stuff, it would sure look funny if I came back from camping with perfectly clean, unused equipment.
Whistling jauntily, I got out of the cab, locked the door behind me, and got in the camper. It was my own design, I'd framed out the back of a small box truck and built my home away from home in it. A small kitchen area was opposite a small bathroom toward the front -- small is definitely a theme when talking about mobile living -- leaving a living area toward the back. A futon did double duty as a couch and bed. A window on one side could be covered up by an exterior metal panel, which was currently in place, and the entire back was another huge window, currently covered up by the rolling metal door these trucks usually have. As a master carpenter, I'd really been in my element building my baby, the carefully chosen woods and intricately detailed woodwork gave it a very luxurious look. Rounding out the aesthetic was a framed print of Dali's 'The Persistence of Time,' one of my favorites.
Once settled in, I put some Armin van Buren on the high-end stereo system. Trance is only one of many genres of music I like, but for what I was doing it was my favorite. Music accomplished, I took a few tokes of Wedding Cake off my vape. Don't get me wrong, it's a really good strain of weed. It's just that given how it looks fucking irradiated, you'd expect to trip off it or something. This was not the case, but it sure did get me baked out of my gourd. My eyes starting getting dry, and my loins began to stir like Gordon Ramsay on a meth bender. I opened the secret compartment and got my dildo and lube. It's called Chance, and it's a replica of horse 'equipment.' I have the flared version, which is much thicker around the head compared to the rest of it.
I have no inner turmoil about it, I'm straight but I like butt stuff. No problem with LGBTQ+ people, but I'm not one, and I'm sure they'd agree -- a (mostly) straight middle-aged white guy isn't exactly one of their tribe. I wish their tribe well though, I like humanity in general. I'm still working on Taylor Swift and people from Long Island and northern New Jersey (an area which really should be split off into its own smelly state), but all in due time. At least I don't hate them. Too much...
With that being said, being smart means knowing which cards to keep close to your chest, and this sure as hell was one of them. No one, and I mean absolutely no one on earth, knew of my naughty little secret. After double-checking that the windows were covered, I stripped down to my birthday suit and slathered lube all over my ass. It was time to party.
Just then I heard voices outside. It's interesting that, for whatever reason, you can know a guy is black just by the timbre in their voice. Even without a black accent, it's just in the tonality. There were at least two voices, both black.
The door opened. What the fuck, I could have kicked myself. I had locked the doors to the camper's cab. I had checked and double checked that the windows were covered. But I had forgotten to lock the door to the actual camper I was in. I guess in all the excitement my usual extreme caution had failed me. What a fucking boneheaded move!
This thought occurred to me in a fraction of a second -- it didn't have any more time than that. No sooner did the door open than two huge black men jumped in. I'm a bit bigger than normal at 6 feet, but these guys towered over me. They were also extremely jacked. They wore orange jumpsuits, an odd fashion statement. No, it's construction workers' safety clothes...? I couldn't quite figure- Bam! The obvious hit me like a ton of bricks as I recalled the blurb on the radio about a prison escape.
While the prison uniforms were standard issue, the guns they both held were certainly not. God only knew where they'd gotten them, but the only thing that mattered now was that they had them. Grinning ear to ear at my nakedness, the guy on the left spoke.
"Boy... you 'bout to have the worst, or the best, time o' yo' life," said the one on the right.
"I'll give you all the money I have-" I began.
"Get on yo' knees, bitch!" yelled the other guy. They looked remarkably similar, not just their physical size but their facial structure as well. Undeniably brothers, they'd likely grown up sharing a lot of things, including cum receptacles.
I did as instructed and the one on the left, clearly the alpha of the two, pulled out the biggest penis I've ever seen in my life. And he was soft -- I was comparing his soft size to the erect size of the biggest cocks I've seen in porn. Not to mention, the ones in porn look bigger because the girls are like 4'6", the guys are often small as well, and of course they use flattering camera angles. None of that was the case here though! His words echoed in my head, "the best or worst time..."
My eyes revealed which it would be, much to the delight of the guy on the right. "He goan' like this, Omar!," he exclaimed, grinning.