Tuesday morning came with that feeling of deja vu. Like a scene cut from
Groundhog Day
, I woke up to find Ben already gone. I was impressed he could maneuver such that he didn't wake me. Not so impressed he was missing. At least yesterday I had a sense of hopefulness knowing he would be back in a few hours. This time, his things were gone. He'll probably leave town after his interviews today. He won't be coming back.
Was I surprised? No.
Was I disappointed? Yes.
It's no wonder he left without a word or text message. After all, we had crossed another line last night.
As I rocked my hips against him, he reached back and spread his cheeks. During my next pass, my dick head pushed into his hole. Ben gasped, and moved his hands to my ass, pulling me down onto him. I freed one of my hands and spit into my palm, working the saliva onto my dick. I pressed again on his hole, with firm and steady pressure. Ben's hole opened up to me, and my cock head once again entered his warmth.
"I want you to fuck me, cuz," Ben whispered into the pillow. "Fuck me, Rob."
The memory of fucking Ben, of fucking my cousin, stirred my dick into raging morning wood. I wasn't normally one to top, but the taboo of it all was insanely hot. I loved feeling his tight, virgin hole grip my cock. I wanted to do it again.
I wish I had more time with Ben. I wanted to figure him out. Over the last year, we've seen each other three times. All of them had ended up with us fooling around. Truth be told, I couldn't figure myself out, either. Did I have feelings for Ben? I may be only 22, but I hoped I wasn't so naΓ―ve as to fall for my straight cousin. Or, did I just enjoy that my lustful fantasies have come true? Maybe that's all I am to Ben, too. Either way, he was gone. For now.
I spent a couple of hours playing video games when I finally received a text from Ben.
Ben: Sorry to dip out so early this morning. I didn't want to wake you and I had to get into the city early for my interviews. Thanks again for letting me crash
He probably wanted to avoid me.
Me: No problem, thanks for letting me sleep in :-p hope the massage helped for a restful night ;)
I wasn't afraid to bring it up. I saw the brief flash of ellipses as he started to reply, but it vanished. No reply ever came. Not that morning, not that day, not that week. Oh well. At least the memory of fucking my cousin could happily reside in my spank bank.
I did my best to move on, which didn't prove too difficult. I kept at it going to the gym, occasionally running into Alex. Months ago, I almost let him blow me in the gym sauna but I felt too much guilt for betraying Ben. All of those feelings were out the window by June when I saw online that Ben and his ex-girlfriend, Crystal, were not only dating again but engaged. It seemed he landed a job in NYC and they agreed to get back together. I only hoped he was happy with this decision and that maybe he'd come to terms with his fluid sexual identity. Who knows, maybe she pegged him at night. Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing that.
Towards the end of the summer, in September, I was included in a group chat with a bunch of phone numbers I didn't recognize aside from Ben's. The name of the group quickly updated to "Ben's Bachelor Bash". It seems I was to be invited to his bachelor party, how thoughtful. Messages soon started streaming in, to the tune of "let's get wasted, bro", "get him a stripper", and "does anyone have a coke hook-up?". Then came suggestions on bars, exotic locations, and what weekends everyone was free. I added nothing to the conversation and merely observed.
I got a separate text from just Ben.
Ben: Hey cuz, hope all is well with you. Our moms overheard me talking about my bachelor party planning and both insisted that you might enjoy coming as well. I wasn't sure if it was your thing, but I'd love to have you join us.
Me: Thanks for the invite! I might have to work or something, but I'll let you know if I can make it.
I didn't want to feel like an afterthought, but I did. It at least seemed like a friendly gesture and I appreciated he messaged me apart from the group.
After a week of bickering, it was decided to congregate in Boston on Halloween weekend. Everyone's budget was different so this made the most sense. People could stay in hotels if they chose, or get transport home as they were all fairly local. Normally I wouldn't have wanted to attend something like this, but I wouldn't have anything better to do. The few friends I had were my coworkers at the bar I worked at and they were all scheduled to work that night when I won a staff lottery to get the holiday off. And, who knows, it might be like my college days. Now that Ben was off-limits, I wouldn't mind cuddling up with some drunk and horny former frat bro friend of his.
The weeks leading up to the event passed quickly. Before I knew it, I was on the train headed into downtown Boston. All the guys were staying at the same hotel, so I went to meet them. Ben was staying in a room with his brother, Seth. I texted Ben I was on my way and he gave me their room number. When I arrived, I knocked on their door and was greeted by Seth who was wearing only a pair of ratty gray box briefs that cupped his balls perfectly. I wanted nothing more than to drop to my knees and bury my face in his bulge like I'd done that one time in his parent's garage.
"Hey cuz!" he said, opening the door to let me in.
"Hi, Seth," I replied, trying not to stare at his crotch.
Seth led me into the room and plopped down on his bed. He'd gotten more of a belly since I'd seen him last, but it only gave him the ideal dad-bod. He had his long legs, coated with dark blond hair, splayed out suggestively. His thick thighs looked both powerful and inviting. He'd grown a bit of a beard as well, and he was checking all the right boxes. I was half tempted to get on my knees and offer him a blowjob when Ben came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel with wet hair and rivulets of water trickling down his muscular chest to his chiseled abs. The sight of my two cousins, both nearly naked, had my dick raging in seconds. Fuck.