Ethan
I looked down the mountain, and I smile when I see the water below, far from here, far enough for what I plan to do. My name is Ethan Cullen... And I guess that's it... I wish I could have said I was dead-gorgeous, popular, with many friends and happy, but why should I lie since I'm going to die in maybe one or two hours from now? My life is just like me: plain empty. I'm just one of those ordinary, lonely guys who could not feel anything but numbness. Yay, lucky me! And not only that, I was just pathetic. Yeah, I know, I shouldn't say that about myself. I should just live, laugh and love because Y.O.L.O., but right now, considering that I was going to commit suicide, I should be frank shouldn't I? Maybe being frank will be the only good thing I will do before dying.
I guess you are wondering what happened to make me this way: shallow, callous, sarcastic, suicidal and, don't forget, pathetic. Long story short, it's just like Lady Gaga's song "I was born this way". I'm serious. I don't have a reason to live and I don't remember the last time I've been happy. Truth is I've never been happy, but I would lie if I said I have never smiled because smiling is the only thing I can do. I smile to hide my sadness, to hide my tears. I know, I know, it's fake-smiling or fakesmiling. Wow I like that, fakesmile or maybe fake-smile, no fake-smile already exist, we should make a verb out of it, I will fakesmile, I fakesmiled, I would have fakesmiled... Yay I'm a Genius!
Where were we? Hmm.... Yeah, life has not been sweet to me; I guess it hasn't been sweet to anyone. With a drug addict as mom and a first degree murderer as dad, it's a wonder that I turned out to be... okay. At the tender age of eight I had to learn how to survive and I became officially a DADDY! Hey, it's not what you're thinking... Wow, you guys are perverted...Like really... I was 8, so my little Ethan could not, you know, do the job. I mean I really couldn't have, you know, put tab A into slot B. I didn't even know how to do that until I was 18. Oops, too much information, forget I said anything. So anyway, I had to take care of my 6 months old sister, Ellen, since Meredith wouldn't be bothered with that job. Meredith is the woman who gave us birth, and she pretty much abandoned us. I mean she was still living in the house, but never acknowledged us so I call that an abandon. Imagine an 8 year old boy, taking care of a baby! Disaster! I wasn't even sure what to feed her. And I guess she would have died if my neighbor didn't help me out a little bit. Because of this wonderful old woman, Ellen and I had been able to survive until one awful night five years later.
I still can remember that night as if it was yesterday. I was 13 and Ellen was almost five. I went to a store to buy a toy for Ellen from the little money I earned working for almost everybody in my small town. It was not really a real job I just had to go fetch the groceries for the old and generous people who knew my situation. I remember when I came home smiling, because I knew my Ellen would be happy when I'll give her the little doll it wasn't much but I knew she'd love it. I opened the door to our house to find mom with a knife in her hand over Ellen's body. There was blood everywhere! I don't remember screaming, I don't remember running to Ellen trying to wake her up. I just remember the look on Meredith's face and her saying "Now it's your turn, sweetie. I promise, it won't hurt I just want us to be happy sweetheart." I never knew what she meant by that, and honestly I couldn't have cared less. The next thing I knew, I heard a howl and Meredith's blood was all over my body and behind her a black wolf was looking at me. I blacked out. I remember waking up surrounded by police officers, I knew what they wanted: answers. But they were asking the wrong person. All I knew was Meredith killed my Ellen and that no matter what I was getting out of Arkansas. And I did but not before a long time...
I look down the mountain again, trying to find a good reason why I should not jump. Believe me I want to jump and I'm not scared of death but I couldn't help asking myself if I should really end my life. Technically, my life was good. I have a decent job... OK, it's more than decent. I am the PA of one of the richest men in the USA. How did I end up getting that job? I, myself, sometimes wonder. I never knew I'd made it this far, heck everybody told me that I would end up like my parents and I prove them wrong. Yay, Go Ethan! Whoop Whoop! Go Ethan! Who's the beast? Ethan. But being successful isn't everything in life. I want someone to love me, someone to hold me, someone to love. I want the happy ever after; I want someone to prove me that I can be happy, someone to prove me that love still exists. But my prince charming, the guy who I've been waited for isn't showing up anytime soon.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't jump?" I yell looking up at the sky.
"Because if you jump, I'll jump with you."
