My Descent

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Ch. 4

I worshipped his cock as it deserved, hungry to feel him in my mouth, desperate for his cum. Maybe I did need to realize and accept what was happening, maybe he was right, he has been right about so many things. I will discuss this with him after I swallow his creamy cum.

I focused my attention back on his cock, so ready to please him, to be given the cum I desperately wanted. I was sucking with everything I had and he was thrusting into my hungry mouth. I felt him start to harden and knew my reward was close. I locked my lips around his hard, stiff shaft and prepared myself. As he filled my mouth with his cum I remember a feeling of pure pleasure as I swallowed greedily.

When he finished he looked down and said, "You know what to do faggot, clean it up."

I lovingly did as I was told. Looking up at him I again said, "Thank you."

David smiled and said, "You're welcome. Now what are we going to do about our situation?"

I said, "David I really have no idea, I never, ever dreamed I would be in a situation remotely close to anything like this."

He smiled, "I understand and to be honest, neither did I. But if I am completely honest I don't think it's a bad situation at all. Just something we need to figure out how to work with. Do you agree?"

"Yes David, I do agree. Something definitely has to change, we need to figure it out."

David said, "What if we both took like the next 3 or so days to really give it the thought it demands, no sex interfering with our thinking and then we discuss our thoughts?"

I was elated at his suggestion, I needed to spend some time with Stacy, to work through my own feelings. I quickly said, "I agree David, it sounds perfect to me."

He said, "Can we plan to meet back here say Thursday evening? Nothing between the two of us until then."

I quickly replied, "Yes I think that would be perfect." We said our goodbyes and I started home, wondering how much damage I had caused with Stacy. I would text her in the morning and take her to lunch, it will be fine. I will completely focus on her for the next several days as I try and work through all of this.

When I got back I realized how exhausted I was, it had been a very long day, but it ended very well. I crawled into bed still tasting him. I slept well, I didn't even recall my head hitting the pillow. I woke up around 830 and remembered thinking it's a new day and I can begin getting my life back together. I text Stacy and apologized for last night again and asked if we could meet for lunch. As I was waiting for her response I jumped in the shower.

The shower felt incredible and I felt like I could take on the world, I looked at my phone and her response was "I would love it, I promise you will also."

I text her back, "Great meet at Hoagies at 11:30?"

She responded, "Yes babe I can't wait, see you then."

I had a class at 930 and would go from class to meet Stacy, I was excited and looking forward to seeing her. The professor droned on and on for what felt like forever, finally the class ended and I was on my way to have a great time.

Stacy was already there when I arrived, sitting in a booth in the back. Damn she looked amazing, tight white shorts and the top she must have bought with me in mind, her breasts were barely covered and spilling out. She smiled, hugged me and gave me a very deep kiss.

We sat for a few minutes and she told me all about Sunday with her family, while I lovingly rubbed her leg. I shared with her how much I loved her new top and how amazing she looked which had her beaming. She excused herself to use the restroom and I watched her walking away with that seductive sway in her hips. That's when I realized I had not even twitched at a hard on, I was sitting here with Stacy, she looked hot as hell, we kissed and nothing. As she returned I pushed the concern from my mind intent on enjoying relaxing with her.

"So what do we want to do today?"

"I just want to be with you baby, whatever you want to do is fine with me."

Stacy smiled, "Lets go for a walk and find that isolated spot we both loved at the lake."

She had an unmistakable gleam in her eyes, I smiled and said, "Sounds great to me, lets go."

"I have a class at 3, we can go afterward. Maybe pick me up around 5?"

"Sounds perfect, I can't wait. I will pick you up at 5."

We said our goodbyes and I walked away with a huge smile on my face, the most content I had felt in several days. Stacy was gorgeous and I did enjoy being with her, she was funny, upbeat and great to be around.

I was proud of myself for not allowing the thoughts of yesterday to creep into my mind. I was going to overcome all of this and get myself back on track with my life. When I returned home I was thinking of how I wanted this evening to go perfectly, enjoy the walk and just sitting by the lake with Stacy, becoming intimate with her would definitely help. Feeling her warmth and fantastic body pressed into mine. Seeing her body in my mind, fantasizing and still no stiffness coming from it. It will be fine, I'm not a Doctor, it will pass.

I decided to focus on keeping my thoughts on Stacy, stopping to buy her a small bouquet of flowers as well, I wanted to make this evening special for us.

I pulled up to pick her up and she was smiling broadly when she walked out in her very tight shorts and even tighter top. Damn she was hot, she jumped in and said let's go I have looked forward to this all afternoon. We drove to the path leading to the lake, both of us very excited to spend some quiet time together just enjoying each other's company.

We walked hand in hand just talking about really nothing in particular, found a secluded spot on the bank overlooking the lake and started passionately kissing. Her passion and need were reflected in her kisses, she was caressing my cock through my jeans, I was groping her luscious body. It was getting so heated, as the passion rose and suddenly, she stopped and looked at me.

"What's wrong, why aren't you getting hard?"

I panicked, I had no idea, I was feeling horny as hell. But she was right I was as soft as could be.

"Baby, I'm sorry I really don't know. I am so enjoying all of this, you are incredibly beautiful, so hot and I am so turned on by you. Maybe I'm just tired, but I don't want to stop."

We started kissing again and the passion rose quickly. I removed her top and began kissing and licking her magnificent breasts, she was moaning as I teased her to increase her arousal.

She looked at me and said, "I can fix this problem."

She started to unzip my pants and removed my cock, still no reaction as she leaned down to take it into her mouth.

That's when it happened, the images flooded my brain, I immediately thought of David and his cock, what it was like, the overwhelming need and desire to suck it. Instantly I became hard, it felt so good, but I then realized I wasn't thinking of how good Stacy was making me feel. I was turned on by knowing what it felt to suck cock, to be a cocksucker.

The realization of my thoughts caused me to instantly lose my erection. I was as soft as I could be immediately and afraid of the truth. Stacy stopped sucking me, she sat back clearly upset.

"What is going on? Am I not turning you on? Is there something I need to know? Tell me, this is insane."

What do I say, I was frustrated and confused also. I didn't want to lie to her but there was no way I was going to tell her there was someone else but it's a man.

I began, "Stacy I really don't know, I am as confused and frustrated as you are. My God you know how beautiful I think you are, and you do turn me on, like no other ever has. Maybe it's something medical, perhaps I should see a Doctor. I really don't know but I'm very sorry. It is not you or my feelings for you at all."

All I was thinking to myself was I have real issues; I knew what it was but had no idea how to deal with it. Now here I was trying to deal with this new situation, somehow keep Stacy happy until I figured everything out.

Stacy said, "Babe will you please go to the Doctor? If it's someone else I need to know and you need to be honest with me, I can take it. But I can't deal with this, it makes me feel very inadequate and I don't want that."

"Stacy, I will go to the Doctor and I will promise to tell you if I am ever in an emotional relationship or have interest with anyone else. I would never do that to you."

"Thank you, I don't want to make matters worse, but I really just need some time alone, will you take me home?"

"Of course, I will and I understand, I am upset also." I really did need some time to think as well. We walked back to the car silently, the drive back to her house was just as quiet. I dropped her off and told her I would make an appointment tomorrow and keep her updated.

We kissed and said our goodbyes, I was just as perplexed as I had ever been. This entire situation was creating so much chaos in my life. I went straight home, I needed some time alone. To work through what just happened.

Thinking of how I felt with her while I was stroking myself, her body, the passion and hunger. Still nothing. Thinking of her taking my cock into her mouth, nothing. Thinking of taking David's cock into my mouth, so turned on so hard, so aroused. It wasn't Stacy, it was me. It was cock, it was touching, smelling, kneeling, kissing, sucking, worshipping cock. Being a cocksucker, working hard to pleasure him to get the cum I craved. I needed help, I couldn't do this alone. I text David and asked if I could call him.

He responded, "Of course, but I thought we were not going to talk until Thursday?"

I text back, "I am so sorry, but something has happened."

"I see, yes call me."

I called immediately and he answered, "Hi, are you ok?"

"I think I am" I explained to him what had happened, and he listened closely. When I finished David spoke.

"What I am hearing is what we discussed, you need and want cock. Is it time yet to admit it to yourself, to become what you are obviously meant to be?"

"David I am still so unsure, but I can't keep doing this, going back and forth, hurting Stacy."

"So, what are you asking from me? What do you want me to do?"

"Like I told you before I have no one to talk with about this except you, I am not sure how to handle it."

"Will you take my advice? Are you willing to do as I say?"

"Yes David, I trust you."

"There is an adult video store on Elm Street, do you know the place I'm talking about?"

"Yes David, I know the place. I have never been in it, it looks more than a little run down from the outside."

"I want you to go there, in the back of the building there are individual booths, pick a booth and go in. There will be a television screen and a bench. On the screen after you pay videos will play. You can pick the content that you wish to watch. Watch a few videos and select different topics, it will help you to find out what turns you on the most. Being there in that environment will give you a place to be alone and truly focus."

"I am a little nervous, but I will do as you say."

"Good boy, after you watched the videos and feel as if you are satisfied you may shop if you wish or simply leave and let me know how it turns out."

"Ok David I will do it, I need to understand to get a grasp on all of this."

"Good now don't forget to call me when you leave there."

"I won't, I will call as soon as I leave."

I was so nervous yet determined to get answers. I drove to the place he told me to go to. Replaying our conversation, he was taking more of an Alpha role in our friendship. Calling me good boy, more telling rather that suggesting. I dismissed it but the thought caused me to become hard. What did he mean by "if I was satisfied."

Anyway, I pulled in, took a deep breath and went in. I walked to the back and found the booths he described. There were a few men in the store, but I was careful not to make eye contact with any of them. I quickly chose a booth and went in, choosing a video I sat quietly and waited for it to begin. It was professionally done with a very hot blonde with huge breasts and a very handsome man. It started with him fondling her breasts and kissing her. It was a very hot scene but wasn't really doing anything sexually for me. After a few minutes while they were kissing apparently, she freed his cock as she slid down his body to get on her knees. It was very big and very hard, it so reminded me of David. Standing so tall and proud, she had a glazed look in her eye as she stroked it and leaned in to kiss the head. I knew that feeling so well, I probably had the same look more than once. David did comment more than once on the look in my eye, I wonder if that was what he meant.

It was then I realized I was so hard, I was rubbing myself through my jeans. Not because of her but because I understood her and how she felt. I didn't care his cock was beautiful as she lovingly sucked him. It was at that moment the video stopped, I quickly fondled for more money, I wanted to see more. It restarted but it was now showing her on her back while he licked her pussy and she caressed her own breasts. I remember feeling so disappointed that it wasn't showing him, showing his cock.

I quickly changed the selection to see what else I could find, I stopped on another huge cock being sucked. I remember moaning as I looked at it, her mouth working his cock so well. She was enjoying being face fucked. As the camera panned out on the scene, it was more focused on his cock it was such a turn on for me. Then I realized it wasn't a she, it was two men and the one sucking was exactly in the position I have been in. On his knees, pleasing a beautiful cock as a cocksucker should.

I was in an adult porn store, in a booth watching porn, turned on by men and horny as hell. Again, David knew exactly what he was talking about, he knew what I would realize. I needed him, I needed his cock, I needed to be on my knees for him and I needed it now. I was so hard it was obvious in the jeans, how would I walk out. I'm sure I'm not the only one this has ever happened to besides I would never see anyone in that store ever again.

I made up my mind, I was leaving and going to David's. I put myself together as well as I could and opened the door, I almost ran into a very large man entering a booth. He smiled and said, "Leaving so soon?" I just nodded and kept walking. I walked to the exit not really looking up and practically ran to my car. I called David immediately, "David, are you home? Do you mind if I come over?"

"Of course, not and yes I am at home, have you already been to the adult shop?

"Yes, David I have and I need to see you."

Laughing he said, "Of course, come on over, I will be waiting for you."

"Thank you, David, see you soon."

I couldn't wait to get to his place, all the movies did was make me want him, want his cock in my mouth. It seemed to take forever but in reality, was only about 10 minutes. I ran up the steps and knocked on the door. He opened the door and asked me in.

"How was your visit to the video booth?"

I just kneeled before him and said, "David I need your cock, I need to suck you, to pleasure you and your cock, I am a faggot cocksucker and I admit that I am. Please may I suck your cock?"

Laughingly David said, "It hasn't even been 24 hours, if we do this again from this moment on, I call all of the shots. You will be submissive to me, to my cock and do all that I say. It is obvious that you are having difficulty thinking for your self with the pre-occupied thoughts you are having of me. Do you agree to my terms?"

"Yes, I agree, I will do whatever you say please let me suck your cock."

"You know what to do, take it out and I will feed you what you crave."

I couldn't wait to get my hand and mouth on his cock, I have tried not to think about it but it's not possible. I could smell his manliness, my own cock was straining against my jeans, I was so hard. I took him out, I looked at him, I knew I had the same look on my face the girl in the video had. I didn't care, I wanted it, I needed it. I basically just agreed to give up control of my life, but I no longer cared. In my hand was what I needed, and I kissed the huge head and started licking and kissing the huge shaft as I took him in my mouth.

I heard David talking to me saying, "Do you think the men at the shop knew you were a faggot? They will know soon, everyone will, I have big plans for you."

I just moaned, I couldn't fight it any longer. He was right, he is always right, he knew what was going to happen, he knows what I am. I just wanted his cum, I needed his cum. I sucked harder, faster making certain to please him.

He was moaning and thrusting faster, and I felt so happy to be providing him this pleasure and I knew the pleasure I would feel as soon as he fulfilled my hunger. I could feel him swelling even more, I knew he was close. He shot into my mouth, as soon as I felt the first delicious, creamy drop I exploded in my jeans. I felt so satisfied, so sexy, so natural, knowing I was becoming an excellent cocksucker made me feel proud.

I milked him for every drop and cleaned his cock lovingly before looking at him and thanking him.

He smiled and said, "Tomorrow the real training begins, be here immediately after your 3 pm class. No speaking with or texting Stacy until after we meet tomorrow, understood?"

"Yes, Sir I understand."