My Descent

Thank you again for the responses, the last submission I did receive a few comments and have submitted Chapter 8. Please continue to provide comments and feedback. Thank you all so much for the support, it is truly appreciated.

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As I drove home, I was feeling so many emotions, mostly pride and satisfaction. I was excited about my shopping for my panties and my dildos, I had pleased 2 men and been called sweetie among other names. I really felt good about myself and was considering how David would react, I was missing him and really missing his cock. There was something about David's cock that I absolutely adored.

But how much I was changing, it was surprising but becoming so natural for me. When I got back to my dorm I was going to study even more and continue my quest to please David, become what he wants and desires.

I got to my dorm room and logged in to my computer, I was going to study and completely learn my new role. I read and learned for hours, feeling horny and wonderful as I gained knowledge about my new life. I was drawn to the feminization articles more and more as I read, David may actually allow me to kiss him if I were more feminine. I wear panties, I suck cock, I am turned on by men, in a strange way it made perfect sense to me.

Besides everything I read or looked at obviously had pictures of men and men's cocks which kept me very interested. I was determined to become as feminine as possible and please my man. I watched several videos and decided to shave my body hair, it was not as easy as it looked in the videos, but I finally completed the task with a few nicks and cuts along the way.

After shaving my legs and dick wearing my panties was a completely new feeling, the softness and warmth inspired so much more femininity, I felt so vulnerable. Every step I took in the direction I was going was exhilarating and an amazing experience. I was hard and horny throughout the entire process, no matter what it was.

I had 2 classes in the morning and was looking so forward to moving with my newly shaved body. I started making a list of items to purchase, my intent was to go shopping right after class. I needed lotion, deodorant, tweezers, so many things to help me along my way.

I also wanted an anal plug, I needed to prepare myself for what was becoming an obsession for me. All of the sissies seem to truly enjoy it, what was I missing, I needed to know. I fell asleep thinking of what I would be wearing in the morning, that certainly had not happened before.

I woke up with my dick straining against my panties, upset with myself for forgetting about the clothing I purchased at the mall, I had a black teddy I could have worn to bed. I took a shower and it felt so incredible with my newly shaved body. As I put on my new panties, I went to my drawer and disposed of all of my old male underwear and replaced them. I put on my jeans and adjusted my dick appropriately and chose a tank top I had purchased at the mall the day before. If I am to be myself and more importantly, please David, no better time to start.

I walked out of my dorm on my way to my first class feeling very meek, I suppose weaker but more natural. My head wasn't down. My eyes were not focused downward, I was looking at men, looking at their crotches, wanting to see their cocks. As I was waiting to cross the street a guy, I was noticing looked at me, smiled and said, "Sorry not into faggots."

I found myself smiling back as I said, "I understand."

He knew, he knew I was a faggot, he was very nice about it, but he knew. That will take some getting used to. But how could I disagree, he was right, and I was traveling further and further into my acceptance. God, I needed David's beautiful cock, but I must stay on track, give him the time he told me to stay away from him. Looking at all of the guys around me was turning me on so, I was so hard.

I made it to my class and was feeling as was common recently, very horny and hungry for cock. A couple of girls were looking at me and smiling and giggling when one of them said, "I like your top, it looks really cute on you." I just smiled at them, they knew also, it was obvious. But I was doing what I needed to do, being what I needed to be.

I sat back and looked at David's cock on my phone, it was truly magnificent, and I missed it so much. I loved everything about it, its size, its curve, how it smelled, how it felt in my hand, in my mouth. I was completely infatuated with it, with him. My dick was stirring in my panties as I admired his cock. In my panties, I'm wearing panties, like a girl and it felt so natural, so right.

My mind drifted back to yesterday, pleasing the 2 men at the video booths, it felt the same way, natural and right. Looking at other men's cocks, checking out other men, buying women's clothes, somehow everything simply felt right to me.

Class was dismissed as I was daydreaming, I walked out with everyone and immediately started looking at the cocks around me. I wanted to hear from David, I needed to talk to him, to explain how I was feeling, how badly I needed his cock, but I had to wait for him to contact me.

I walked to my next class, anxious for it to be over, needing to get away from here and go home and suck on my new dildo, learn more about my changes. I sat through it, very much uneventful, as soon as it was over, I was so ready to go. I walked quickly, naturally looking at all of the men around me, in doing so I bumped into Stacy.

She said, "Oh hi, my you look different, how have you been?"

"I'm doing well, how are you?"

"I'm doing well, but why are you wearing girl's jeans and a girl's tank top, are you ok?"

"Yes, yes, I am really doing fine, I have lost a little weight and I like how they fit and feel that's all. Are you seeing anyone?"

"No, I decided to just not actually look for another relationship too quickly after us. How about you, are you seeing anyone?"

What do I say, I can't tell her the truth, "No I'm not."

"Any possibility you would like to maybe give us another try, I have missed you." As she said that she grabbed my dick, I pulled back.

"No Stacy, I am going through some things, I need to get them straightened out first. It wouldn't be fair to you. I can't give you what you need at this time."

"Well, if you change your mind, you have my number."

"Thank you, yes I do. Have a great day, Stacy."

My god, what just happened, it was so awkward for me, why did she grab my dick like that. I cringed again at the thought of her doing so. I couldn't tell her the truth, I was taken by surprise. Everything that happened and I remember thinking how cute her skirt looked.

I needed to get back to my dorm as quickly as possible. I felt almost violated, I didn't want her touching me, I wasn't interested in that anymore. That thought hit me solidly, it wasn't Stacy, it was the fact that she was female. I wasn't sexually interested in females, I was interested in her skirt, in her appearance. I was attracted to men, to men's cocks, I needed their cum, I wanted their attention, I wanted the opportunity to pleasure them.

I looked at myself in the mirror, I had changed a little, I was wearing a girl's tank top, girl's jeans, panties and was clean shaven. Not a lot more than that really except my dick was clearly visible, maybe that was why she had grabbed it. As I looked at myself, I was thinking that I should lose a little weight, it would make the tank top fit better. A few weeks ago, I was thinking I needed a haircut, I may just let it grow, I think that would look better also. David would probably like that I did.

I started doing more "research" into our relationship, David and me. As I was reading various accounts and learning more, I was becoming hornier, I was licking and sucking on my dildo and decided I should go and buy an anal plug. I went into the bathroom and checked myself in the mirror, adjusted my top and decided to go, I would just go in buy an anal plug and be home quickly.

The drive was pleasant it was a very nice day, and I was feeling very good about myself and my confidence in what was happening. I pulled in and was surprised at how busy they were, it was like 2:30 in the afternoon.

I walked in and the cashier recognized me, smiled and said, "Hi Sweetie".

I smiled back and said, "Well hello, how are you doing."

"Doing well, thank you, anything I can help you with? Would you like change?"

"No not today, I know what I am looking for and where it is, just shopping. It seems very busy today."

He smiled at me and said, "Weekday afternoons are usually busy for us, a lot of unfortunate husband's come in for a little relief." As he winked at me.

I walked into the section of the store I was beginning to know well, but I was thinking about his comment. All those men not being taken care of as they should be, married men and apparently their wives were not taking care of their needs. I tried to go on about my shopping and found what I believed to be exactly what I was looking for, a starter set was how it was described. It contained 3 anal plugs, each a little larger than the previous one but all shaped like cocks.

As I was looking at them a man walked by, smiled and grabbed his cock. I wasn't sure what it meant but I noticed he went back to the booths. The thoughts running through my mind, he wanted sucked, he needed sucked, his wife wasn't taking care of him. I have no idea how David would feel if I went back there, I was still concerned that I did it yesterday. But he did say I would figure out how to quench my hunger. No, I needed to buy what I came for and get out.

I continued comparing other anal plugs and was looking at the available lube they had on display, when another man walked by and asked, "Care to watch a movie in the back?" I just smiled at him and noticed how hard his cock was. My panties were getting wet again, I could feel it. I wanted to help them, I felt badly for them, they had cum, they would feed me what I craved.

I took the lube and the anal set to the cashier and asked him for change. He winked at me and said, "Of course baby, too hard to resist?"

I just replied, "Yes, it is."

I was anxious to get into a booth, a lot were occupied, after I found an empty booth, I anxiously sat down and instantly heard moaning. What do I do now to let them know I can help, I simply said, "Sounds like someone is having fun?"

The reply, "Are you a faggot?"

"Yes, I am, would you like some help?"

I just again admitted to a complete stranger that I was a faggot, why is it becoming so easy. He put his cock through the hole, and I was instantly mesmerized, I knew what I wanted to do and went to my knees instinctively. He was so hard and dripping pre cum, I licked it up hungrily, the feeling every time I suck a cock sends chills down my spine. My panties were so wet, my dick was so hard, I needed his cum desperately.

Then it started, he started calling me names, it just makes me even hornier. I moved my mouth away from his cock and said, "Yes please feed me you're cum, I am so hungry."

He started thrusting faster, I could feel him swell, I knew he was going to cum and I was so ready for it. I was giving him exactly what he needed and in return he was providing what I now craved. He erupted and it was a huge load, I was swallowing greedily but a little dribbled down my chin.

When he finished, he thanked me and shared with me that anytime I was in a booth and wanted cock to just trace my finger around the hole. I thanked him for his cum and heard him zip up and leave. I had learned something valuable, I wiped the cum from my chin and licked it up.

I was aware of movement coming from the booth on the other side of me, I decided to practice my newfound technique and put my finger in the hole and traced it. As soon as his cock entered the hole he said. "Here you go baby, get what you need, I've heard about you."

He's heard about me, my god what does that mean. "What exactly have you heard?"

"I heard you may be the hungriest cocksucking faggot this place has ever seen."

"Please Sir, when you finish, please let me know your thoughts."

With that I began licking and kissing his full round head. The entire situation had me so horny all I wanted to do was give the absolute best blow job he had ever experienced. It was becoming my soul purpose to please men, real men that need the help from a faggot like me. I loved cock, loved sucking cock, craved cum and felt so wonderful being on my knees, being submissive and feminine for them.

I sucked him like there was no tomorrow wanting nothing more than to please him as well as possible. He was moaning and groaning, and I could sense the signs, he was about to reward me. He moaned loudly and I swallowed every drop of his precious cum as my dick throbbed in my panties. I was so proud of myself, so turned on. I cleaned his cock before he pulled back through the hole.

"You my dear were everything I heard you were, you are a truly a cock loving bitch in every sense of the word."

I said, "Thank you for the compliment and thank you so much for your cum."

"Do you come here often? I would certainly like to visit you again."

"No Sir, not really, I have a boyfriend." Saying those words made me shudder, is David my boyfriend, what exactly is our relationship.

"I hate to hear that, I will look for you when I am here, I can promise you that."

"Thank you, Sir." As I heard him leave the booth.

I was feeling so content, knowing the pleasure I provided both men and the feeling of pride I had. As I was getting up off of my knees to leave, I heard a voice ask, "Still hungry faggot?"

I looked and another cock was being offered to me, "Yes Sir, I am always hungry."

I immediately engulfed the head of the cock and started bobbing my head up and down. I knew I was good enough to take care of him rather quickly and I did so, my third load of cum in a little over an hour. I thanked him, refreshed myself and left the booth.

As I walked to the cashier with a huge smile on my face, he looked at me and handed me the anal plug kit. I was confused and said, "I haven't paid for this yet."

He smiled and said, "I know one of your new fans bought it for you."

I was so taken aback, so happy but confused, I was bought a gift from a man that I pleasured. I smiled at the cashier and thanked him.

"Honey, you just keep coming back, you are very good for business."

As I left, I felt so proud of the fact that I was considered to be a great cocksucker, and I was given cum. The reality of what had happened did creep into my mind and I thought of David, he didn't have any idea I had sucked off 5 strangers. I don't know how he will react. I missed him terribly. I was more determined than ever to become what I believed he desired, as I drove home, I had a huge smile on my face.

When I returned to my dorm, I showered and used my new feminine deodorant and lotion on my newly shaved skin. I put on my new teddy I purchased a few days ago and laid on my bed. I felt more feminine than I ever had which made me feel very good about myself. I was thinking of David and how I hoped he would be happy with me and hoped I would hear from him soon. After pleasing the strangers at the adult bookstore, it just wasn't the same as his glorious cock. I searched through more training web sites and was particularly focusing my energy on how to use my anal plugs. After reading, watching and learning I was very interested in knowing what it was going to feel like. I used the lube I purchased and inserted the smaller one in my ass.

To say it was instant pleasure would be untrue, I did seem to enjoy the fullness of it inside me. My dick certainly seemed to like it very much, I was leaking precum but what a tasty snack. I did feel a certain amount of submission and weakness as I inserted it, what man would actually do this. As I shifted and wiggled my ass enjoying the sensations I couldn't stop thinking of David, hoping he would like all that I have done. Wishing I would hear from him.

Was I falling in love with him, I wondered, I want to please him, I love pleasuring him, I am trying to be what he wants me to be. Maybe that is exactly what is happening, I can't wait to be with him again.