My Fantasies

Second Night in the Park

I was so nervous I didn't think I could go through with it, but I followed him deeper into the trees anyway.

What are you doing, John? I asked myself. This guy could be crazy -- he could be a fag-basher -- he might beat the crap out of you -- maybe kill you! Why are you doing this? Why don't you go somewhere you can actually see men's faces?

Because you have to finally find out what it's like, I answered myself. You've been fantasizing about this for two-years - it's time to do it and get on with your life!

Besides, you were here last night and followed that man into the darkness and nothing happened to you. These guys just want to get their rocks off, not rob you or anything. They're as lonely and desperate as you are...they simply want human contact like you do.

If only that guy last night had told me to suck him I wouldn't have to be here tonight, I thought. It's his fault for being such a wuss.

Sure, his cock felt great in my hand. I loved how hot it was -- how hard it was yet smooth to the touch. And remember how excited you got masturbating him, John? How hard your own dick got -- how swollen your balls became? Jesus, you had to jerk off the moment you got back inside your car...and what an orgasm it was!

Think how great it will be to finally have a warm cock in your mouth -- to wet your lips and slide them over his glans -- to run your tongue along the velvety smoothness -- to stroke his shaft while bobbing your head back and forth -- to hear his moans -- to listen to him exclaim "Oh-Oh-Oh" as he shoots his load and you finally get to taste a man's cum! Oh yeah...

He seems like a nice guy. I didn't get a good look at him in the darkness, but I think he's normal. He sounded okay.

Sure, he wasn't very personable but I didn't detect any hostility in his voice when he asked me, "Do you suck?" I don't know how these encounters work anyway. It's certainly not about romance. And when I said "Yes" I thought I saw him nod his head with approval. I found his forceful command, "Follow me!" quite exhilarating.

One thing I have learned about myself is if I choose to pursue this lifestyle, I definitely like alpha males. I have always been kinda quiet and shy around stronger men so I guess that would make me 'a submissive.' Some of my best climaxes are when I fantasize myself as 'a bottomboy' surrendering to, and obeying manly men.

I could barely see him in front of me. When he stopped walking I think we were behind a huge oak tree.

"Get on your knees and take out my cock!" he said in a brusque tone of voice.

Ohhh-yesssss...my prick stiffened - my balls began to ache. I dropped to my knees and felt for his belt. He wasn't wearing one so I worked the button-fly as well as I could. When I had his jeans open, he helped me by pushing them downward along with his underwear.

Oh my God, his hard-on slapped my face! When I wrapped my hand around the base of his prick I experienced a brief disappointment; I wet my lips and slid them over his cockhead and my heart sank...damn, I thought, he's no bigger or thicker than me!

I drew in as much of his cock as I could and found my lips against his pubic hair. I had it all inside my mouth. Just my luck: the first time I get to go down on a guy he has a needle-dick like mine.

The excitement suddenly returned. His cock was hot and rubbery-smooth. I licked at the glans and pleasantly discovered I liked the taste of his pre-cum. My balls became even more swollen.

He hissed down at me, "Suck my cock, faggot, suck it good!"

He sounded almost angry -- should I be afraid?

Instead, a thick fog enveloped my brain. I became dizzy. I couldn't think straight. Pre-cum soaked thru my briefs. I swore I could hear my heart pounding. I sucked him harder and faster, ever mindful not to scrape his smooth cockflesh with my teeth.

I'd read dozens of gay stories about sucking cock and remembered the do's and don't's of giving a real man pleasure. I made sure my tongue never left his salty flesh. I continually lapped at the warm fluids oozing from his slit. I began to gently massage his heavy balls.

Suddenly, his hands were on my head. He gripped my ears hard and held me in place. He began shoving his cock in-and-out of my greedily sucking mouth - his swollen balls rhythmically slapped my chin. His grunts and groans became louder and more frequent.

His body momentarily froze. "Swallow it all or I'll beat the shit outta you, fagboy!"

And then he climaxed. He buried his cock inside my mouth and his first spurt of cum hit the back of my throat. It all happened so fast I almost choked on his sperm and semen.

He pulled my head to his crotch and exploded two-three-four more times deep inside my mouth. If I hadn't panicked and swallowed as fast as I could, I would have drowned in his manly juices.

Only when his prick was limp did he pull it out my mouth. I remained on my knees while I heard him fix his clothes in place.

Suddenly, he blurted out, "All you fagboys disgust me!" and he shoved me backwards and kicked my belly.

I curled into the fetal position and covered my head with my arms waiting for more kicks.

Instead, in a threatening voice he warned me, "Wait here five-minutes before you get up, you little faggot!"

I heard the leaves under his feet as he walked away. I laid there frightened and confused.

Why would he act like that? He got what he wanted -- why did he get so mad afterwards? I thought I was pretty good for my first time! Heck, I even swallowed just about everything he gave me -- what made him so angry?

I waited longer than five-minutes before I stood and tried to figure out how to get back to the walking path. I looked around and could barely see brightness in the distance. I slowly made my way through the trees and bushes.

I told myself: You're not coming here anymore...you know, the gay bar is thirty-miles away - you won't know anyone there...and my flaccid prick began to stiffen inside my briefs at the thought of going to the bar tomorrow night.

Me and Tommy

"I have no idea why you would work those god-awful hours at such a shitty job!" he said for what seemed like the umpteenth time. "How many times have you been robbed so far? Three? Four?"

I sighed and said, "Only twice."

He continued: "Johnny, one of these nights you're not going to be so lucky -- one of those meth-heads will kill you!"

"I have to pay the rent - what am I supposed to do? I have no skills for anything better, and I'm not handsome like you -- who would want me for a model?" I asked him.

"Are you kidding me?? You're young and cute -- that's what Eddie looks for in his boys -- he even asks about you -- he says you're very photogenic and he could give you a lot of work!"

"Tommy, no offense, but I can't do what you do...I can't pose naked -- what if someone I know sees the photos, or worse, what if my parents see them?"

"Don't be silly...I told you, Eddie sells the photos to rich men in Saudi Arabia -- no one else will ever see them -- and you won't be naked to start with -- I told him what kind of undies you wear and he loves it - you'll be posing in your string bikini briefs!"

"I should have never done laundry with you..." I muttered.

"Whatever, dude, but c'mon, you owe it to yourself...don't you want a better life?"

"I'd be too self-conscious -- I wouldn't even be able to smile..."

"Johnny, I told you -- before each shoot I either smoke a joint or eat an edible -- I smile and laugh so much I don't even notice the camera. Besides, I'll be right there with you -- I'll help you get through it."

"I thought you told me you're not gay," I said forcing a small chuckle.

"Oh gay-schmay -- who cares - it's easy work for good money -- you know what? I'm tired of trying to talk you into this -- I'll never bring it up again...if you want to keep living your shitty little life, go right ahead!"

***

I was still buzzed on the way home from the photo shoot and had to concentrate hard on my driving.

My mind was racing. Did I go too far? I can't believe I ended up totally naked on that bed. Not only that, but I actually masturbated in front of the camera! I couldn't help it -- I was horny as hell, and in the blinding lights I couldn't see either Tommy or Eddie the Photographer and I was so high I actually believed I was alone!

Of course, the extra hundred dollars Eddie paid me helped assuage my guilt and embarrassment.

Eddie couldn't have been any nicer to me. Before we started he explained everything I needed to know about posing for a camera: I'd be fully clothed (except for shoes and socks) and at his direction I would slowly unbutton my dress shirt and open it to expose my chest. I heard the whirring of the camera as I struck various poses before he had me remove the shirt altogether.

He then instructed me to open the belt on my slacks and lower the zipper. Again, with Tommy's help, I struck more poses before he told me to push the slacks to the floor and step out of them leaving me wearing just my yellow, string bikini briefs...but then there was a problem.

"No-no-no..." Eddie said. "You have a jungle coming out of your undies -- that is unacceptable!"

I wasn't quite high at that point and looked down to where he was pointing to see what I always see -- a wild tangle of pubic hair poking up out of my briefs.

I heard Tommy say, "Don't worry, I'll take care of that for him!" and before I knew it, he was standing in front of me with a pair of scissors.

"Johnny, lower the briefs so I can trim your bush!" said Tommy.

I felt myself blush. "Well, uh, I uh---"

Tommy sharply said, "Johnny, quit acting like a little kid -- this is a professional photo shoot -- always do what the photographer tells you to do -- now slide your briefs down so I can 'mow the lawn'!"

I think that's when the edibles kicked-in. I began to laugh and laugh and laugh...

I shrugged my shoulders and shoved my briefs down to my thighs. It was the first time since high school gym class I exposed myself to other guys.

Tommy was very business-like. He carefully snipped away at my pubes. I suddenly became concerned he would use the scissors on the hair on my scrotum.

I breathed a sigh of relief when he said, "Okay, that should do it -- raise your briefs!" leaving the hair on my balls intact.

He left me alone and Eddie began to instruct me on the poses he wanted to see. He was very professional.

"Smile, Johnny, yes, that's good...raise your hands above your head - good boy...place your hands on your hips -- good boy..."

I became totally relaxed. I began to have fun. I couldn't believe I was going to get paid for just smiling and striking various, silly poses.

"Now face me -- good boy...open your legs so I can shoot that cute little lump in your boy-panties..."

I looked down and saw the bulge my 'package' was making in the crotch of the tiny briefs. Cute little lump? I wondered. I don't think so -- it looks manly to me!

"Okay cutie, give yourself a hard-on -- I want to see your little boner pushing out your boy-panties!" he said.

Boy-panties? Little boner? I didn't have much time to think about his comments because Tommy was suddenly behind me, pulling me close to him, his hands fondling and stroking my chest.

I was so into it I didn't push him away. When his fingers pinched and rolled my nipples I couldn't help but spring an erection.

I was alone again obeying Eddie's commands. The poses were becoming more and more risque, bordering on the obscene. He had me thrusting my hips to accentuate my boner inside the briefs.

"Okay cutie, hook your thumbs inside the waistband!" he instructed. "Oh yeah, good boy -- you're a good boy, Johnny!"

"Push your undies down to the tops of your knees!" he said casually. "Oh yeah -- beautiful -- you are a beautiful boy, Johnny...take hold of your prick, Johnny, and point it in my direction!"

"Oh baby, you are one sexy boy! Stroke your cock, Johnny -- go slow at first -- I'll tell you when to speed up!"

I had gone this far already, and I was sooo high and horny I obeyed his command and when I grasped my hard-on my entire body shook and shuddered and this was when my memory became blurred and fuzzy.

My undies had fallen to the floor and I not only stroked my hard prick, but Eddie had me fondle my balls, too. My eyes were practically closed, my breathing irregular.

"Turn around sweetie and show me your cute little bubble-butt...ohhh yes, simply gorgeous...sweetie, go to the end of the bed -- yes, good boy...now rest your forehead and shoulders on the bed...good boy...look over your shoulder and smile at me -- perfect - now wiggle your cute little butt at me, sweetie -- Johnny, you're a natural...oh my goodness, this is sooo hot...spread your legs for me, sweetie...no, wider -- wider than that - perfect -- good boy...now reach back and pull apart your butt cheeks -- no, as wide apart as you can get them...oh sweetie, that is wonderful..."

In the hazy recesses of my mind I knew he was shooting close-ups of my anus but it strangely didn't bother me...no, in fact, my prick began throbbing and pulsating and I had to fight from shooting my load right then and there.

"You're a good boy, Johnny...a few more minutes and we'll be done...lay on your back on the bed, sweetie...yes, very good...hold your prick for me again Johnny and smile -- oh yes, this is hot -- you are one hot and pretty boy...bring yourself off, cutie -- yes, good boy -- stroke it fast and hard, Johnny -- that's perfect -- now close your eyes and finish it, sweetie, shoot your load in the air, sweetheart...ohhh, Johnny -- that's fantastic -- you are such a good boy!"

Afterwards, the shame and humiliation of what I had just done struck me like a thunderbolt, but Eddie and Tommy acted like I did nothing out of the ordinary. They even congratulated me on my first successful photo shoot.

When I was dressed, Eddie came to me and said, "Johnny, you are a natural -- you definitely have a future in modeling..."

He handed me a hundred-dollar bill and some papers, "Sweetie, the standard rate is twenty-dollars an hour but you were sooo good I'm giving you a bonus this time. I want you to read over this contract when you get home...with my direction, and if you want it -- I can make you into a star!""

***

I re-read the contract for the fourth time after I took a shower. I would be paid a hundred-dollars an hour with a minimum ten-hours a week guaranteed -- oh my God -- I would make, at the very least, a thousand-dollars a week!!

But then I re-read what would be expected of me: "You will be required to perform manual, oral, anal and whatever other sex acts the director deems appropriate for any given scene. Refusal to comply with directions will be grounds for immediate dismissal and forfeiture of any and all monies already earned and owed."

I heard Billy's car horn and hurried out the door. He had offered to buy me drinks and dinner and I was starving. In addition, he is easy to talk with, maybe he could answer my questions and allay the nervousness and uncertainty I was experiencing.

***

I had never drank Martini's before, and after three of them my head was swimming. We talked about everything besides what happened this afternoon. After we ordered our steaks, Billy brought up the subject.

"Did you get a chance to read the contract?" he asked.

"Uh well, yes I did," I replied.

"So what do you think? Is it something you'd be interested in? If you're worried about your family finding out, like I said, the photos and videos are all sold overseas mainly to Arab men...no one you know would ever see them!"

"I know -- I know, it's just that...well..."

"What are you worried about?" he asked.

"Well, when it comes to, you know, handjobs and oral sex, I guess I could close my eyes and pretend it's a girl doing them to me, but I don't think I could stick my dick into some guys rear end," I said honestly.

I saw Billy furrow his brow.

"Johnny, I don't think you understand," he softly said.

"Understand what?" I asked.

"Eddie wants you to be a bottomboy...you will be the one on your knees -- you will be the one bending over...Johnny, I thought you knew that...I mean, you are so cute and you know..."

"Know what?" I said rather testily.

"Well, no offense, but you do have a rather strong feminine side -- that's what Eddie likes most about you!" he said straight-faced.

I was stunned. Speechless. They want ME to be the fagboy? That's ridiculous!

"Johnny, I hate to say this but I have to be truthful with you," said Billy.

"Say what?" I asked. "Truthful about what?"

"Johnny, your dicks not even four-inches long -- that's why Eddie thinks you're a natural bottomboy...when have you ever seen a porn movie where the leading man has a needle-dick?"

Speechless again. I frantically blinked away the tears in my eyes.

Luckily, the dinner arrived and the rest of the evening was spent in silence.

***

The next few nights, work at the convenience store was a living hell. The customers seemed to outdo themselves in rudeness. Not only that, but I caught a kid trying to steal a soft drink, and when I confronted him he simply laughed in my face and challenged me.

"What are you going to do about it, little boy?" he said. "If you don't get outta my way I'm gonna beat the shit outta you!"

I hate to admit it, but I backed away and watched him leave the store. My God, talk about feeling impotent and useless!! Damn, I hated that place!

I had one more night to go before my weekend. I prayed I wouldn't get shot or beat up. Every time the bell rang when a customer opened the door I nervously looked to see who was coming inside.

I was doing paperwork when the doorbell made me flinch. I anxiously looked and was instantly relieved when I saw Tommy enter the store.

He smiled and walked directly to the counter.

"Hey cutie," he said, "how are you doing?"

"Oh, okay," I answered.

He reached for his wallet and I watched him extract a hundred-dollar bill.

I immediately said, "Sorry Tommy, they won't let me break a hundred after midnight."

He chuckled and said, "No cutie, this is for you -- Eddie sold your video and this is your commission!"

Huh? What?

"My commission?" I asked.

"Yeah, did he forget to tell you that you earn a bonus when he sells your photos and videos?" he asked me.

"Uh, no, I didn't know that," I said.

"Well, you do...does that make a difference? Would you like to pose for Eddie again? He really wants you as a model!!" he said. "And to be completely honest with you, there is an oil Sheik in Saudi Arabia who is quite smitten with you -- he loves your video and wants to see more of you, if you know what I mean?"

I knew exactly what he meant! Something snapped in my head. Oh my God -- I wouldn't have to work here ever again!

"Well, uh, maybe..." I said.

"What time do you get off work?" he asked.

"Late, 7am," I said.

"Okay, how about I come to your place at 7:30 and we can talk about it?" he asked.

"That would be great," I said softly, fully understanding the implications of my decision.

Tommy arrived at 7:30 - at 8am I signed the contract -- at 8:30 we arrived at Eddie's studio -- at 9:00 I was feeling the affects of the gummy bear Tommy had given me to eat - at 9:30 we were naked on the bed and Eddie was snapping photo after photo -- at 9:45 I was kneeling between Tommy's wide-splayed thighs getting my first real modeling lesson.

***

Muscle-Men

I knew Timmy was queer but I moved into his apartment anyway.

What's the big deal? I asked myself. I'd have my own bedroom and he's never tried anything funny with me in all the months I've known him. Besides, living alone is expensive. I haven't been able to save any money at all.