I am a married white male, 6'-6", not fat, just not in shape, very hairy, straight as an arrow. Love sex, can't get enough, especially eating pussy. So what's this about cock? Let me tell you.
I had a few favorite sites on the web I liked to visit to look at porn while I got myself off.
Anyway, I came upon a video of an absolutely staggeringly hot blonde, who was touching this hard bodied, muscle bound black guy. He was still clothed, but as time went on, she was touching him, rubbing against him, lowering herself as she moved her hands down his body. She got to her knees, and was running her hand slowly up and down the fly of his pants, right over his bulging cock. She looked up at him, bit her lower lip, and slowly pulled down his zipper. After undoing his zipper, she slid his pants down his legs, leaving him standing with only his tight underpants, and button down shirt still on. His cock bulged so much, it might have ripped his shorts. The blonde, still looking in his eyes, was lightly running her fingers over his cock. Lowering her eyes to his cock, she slowly pulled down his underwear, allowing his smooth, incredibly hard, jet black cock to spring out. She finished sliding his underwear down his legs, and took his hard cock in her hand, moving her face towards his cock, as she did. Licking the underside of his cock head, she moved her head forward, slowly sliding her lips over his cock. She took him in several inches, and began the in and out movement all us guys love to feel. I was absolutely fascinated watching her give this lucky bastard head. I mean, yeah she was getting paid, this was porn, but something about it was fucking hot.
I downloaded the video and saved to my hard drive, it was probably a 20 minute video. I watched this video almost obsessively for a couple weeks, giving myself some pretty nice orgasms. One day, as I was staring at the video, the realization struck me...I was watching his COCK, not particularly the blonde sucking him. That set me back. I was NOT queer.
But damn, his cock was HOT. I mean, I actually licked my lips thinking about sucking on him myself. I was fairly pissed at myself. I was straight, married for Christ's sake!
Making myself cum so often to that video that my cock was getting sore.
I didn't watch that video for a week, I was so disgusted with myself. But I didn't delete it either.
Then I had a dream about sucking cock. It woke me up. Couldn't get back to sleep. Fuck! My cock was hard. Well, I got little sleep that night, not to mention how upset I was thinking and dreaming about cock.
I calmed down, life was going OK, and then I began thinking about that video. Like a magnet, I was drawn back to it. I found myself masturbating so much, my cock was getting sore. The blonde was so hot. But I was lying to myself. It was the cock that got me going. But I knew I couldn't do anything about it. Could I? How could I find another guy to play with me? Try this out, make myself understand I was not interested in cock, after all? But how to do this without embarrassing myself, getting arrested, losing my job, and especially, not ending up divorced.
Craigslist. I stumbled on that idea all by myself. I used CL for selling stuff off and on for a few years, never looked at the personals. Now I checked them daily, looking at the Men for Men ads, wondering how these guys really worked things out, were the ads even real? What about diseases, maybe getting mugged by other guys? Some of the ads looked raw, others very questionable. Most looked for one time hook ups. Sounded dangerous to me.
I decided to respond to a few ads. Not many replied back to me, but those who did, scared me. They were rough, crude, looking for blow and goes, one time hook ups. Now, I still was trying to convince myself I wasn't queer, but the image of that blonde bowing that black cock wouldn't leave me. I finally placed an ad myself, looking for curious married guys. I figured curious married guys would be safest? I also explained that I wanted us to both get tested before actually engaging in anything. Results? Not a single reply. After a few days, I reinserted the ad, asking for disease free, HIV-, I got quite a few responses from men all claiming to be HIV-, but none who would get tested. This bothered me. I mean, I was willing to try this man - man thing, but I wasn't looking to get sick and die, or bring something home to my family.
I finally saw an ad asking to swap hand jobs. Well, I thought it was a start, and hey, you couldn't get HIV from a hand job, so I answered the ad, and almost immediately received a response. He asked if I was free right now, I said yes. He asked if I could host, I said no, so he replied, maybe a booth at the Adult Book Store. I never been in the bookstore here, but figured, it's just a hand job, it should be fine. I explained I was virgin at man - man stuff, but would love to give him a hand job, maybe even suck him if he was clean. He responded maybe on the blow job, but definitely on the hand job. We agreed to meet in 45 minutes at the bookstore.
As I pulled into the bookstore parking lot, I saw it was empty. I let out a sigh, I figured I was stood up. I figured, what the hell, I'll give him a few more minutes. In another 6 or 7 minutes, a pickup truck pulled into the lot and parked about a hundred feet from me. A guy got out, and looking at me, started to walk toward me. I thought "shit, this is it", and got out and walked toward him, kinda sizing him up as we approached. He was about 5'10", average build, about the same age as me. He wore a ironed white shirt, and pressed blue jeans. He stuck his hand out, and introduced himself, I did the same, I could tell he was as nervous as I was.
"Well, shall we?" he asked, pointing to the bookstore.
"Absolutely." I replied.