I was thirty and totally straight when I realized I like cock way more than pussy.
A little bit of background first. I was not a virgin, was not molested, and did not "know my whole life" that I was gay. I had many heterosexual relationships; I had sex with women regularly and enjoyed it when I did. I was not homophobic but I was in fact very comfortable being "gay adjacent".
As a kid, when my family went to the Castro district in San Francisco, I was fascinated by the gay culture and curious about the guys' attraction to each other. I couldn't take my eyes off of men when I saw them kissing. In college I was an art major and was very interested in studying anatomy, male and female, drawing nudes and studying classic Greek, Roman and Renaissance statues, especially the ones that celebrated the male physique. I loved the beautifully muscular men's bodies, without them being exaggerated and cartoonish, like modern bodybuilders.
After college I even did some anatomy modeling myself, having a very muscular body. I was proud of my body but a little modest about posing nude so I used a posing strap (basically a G-string), in art classes at colleges but posed nude when modeling for smaller private drawing sessions.
I had been hit on by gay guys many times and I found it flattering, never offensive, but I never took any of the men up on their offers. I had played with my asshole a few times, but only in the context of what it would be like in a straight sex session, if a woman was pleasuring my ass. One time I used my girlfriend's vibrator on my ass when she was out of town. I found the sensation absolutely euphoric and I envied gay guys for being so in touch with this wonderful source of pleasure. I wasn't able to insert the vibrator very far into my ass and I thought "I could never be gay because my asshole is too tight".
I provide this background so you understand how dramatic the change was that I made, or rather, that was revealed, in one day. No matter how much resistance I put up, that resistance was drowned by a tsunami of desire to be passionately, deeply, lustfully fucked and dominated by a man.
I was working as a personal trainer at a gym at the time this happened. I had several clients, gay, straight, men and women, and I had a reputation as a guy who knew what he was doing and had the body to back it up. Like I said, I had done some modeling that required a muscular physique and a handsome face. I had done also some runway and magazine work. I was good looking with a great body but I wasn't going to make a living off of just that. A college girlfriend had talked me into sending nude photos to a female-oriented centerfold magazine. I have a very nice, very big cock, and the magazine wanted me to come to L.A. but I chickened out.
One of my clients from the gym, Scott, was also a very good friend of mine outside the gym. I never thought of him in a sexual way, but he brought me to several gay events, along with his partner. I always felt completely comfortable at these parties, costume and cocktail affairs, because I like showing off my body. I enjoyed the attention I got, and I never felt my masculinity threatened. "I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality that I can wear a pink shirt," I used to say.
One afternoon Scott invited me to an adults-only pool party at a rich gay couple's house where he was house sitting. He said it would be a mixed crowd but mostly gay guys attending. He said he wanted to show me off a little to his friends. I said yes since his desire to be associated with a hot straight guy aligned with my desire to be ogled at and desired. Maybe I would meet a hot woman there.
The day before the party I finished my workout and felt confident that my sculpted arms and thighs, washboard abs, pronounced pecs and bubble ass would turn some heads. I wasn't cocky or conceited but I had received enough compliments to know what I had been blessed with genetically, even if I couldn't take all the credit for it. I then went to the tanning bed studio to add some color.
I knew how obsessed gay guys were with tans and I didn't want to offend anyone with my paleness. I also shaved my cock and balls because the swim suit I was going to be wearing was my posing strap, basically a grocery sack for my cock and balls, and I didn't want any bushy pubes ruining the look. When I finished shaving, I left a pencil- thin landing strip, I looked at my self in the mirror and got an instant hard on. "Damn! I'd fuck me if I were gay", I thought. This is an admittedly narcissistic attitude. It's also a clue that on some level I was sexually excited by men. A straight guy probably wouldn't get a hard on looking at his own hairless cock and balls and smooth anal entrance.
When I arrived at the party, dressed in shorts and a polo shirt, Scott pulled me aside as soon as I stepped into the house. He warned me that at some point there might be a clothing-optional-for-the rest-of-the-party announcement. He was trying to be sensitive to any discomfort I might feel at a party full of naked gay men. I said I would be fine with it.
He told me to jump into my swim suit and come out to the pool to meet everyone. I went to a bedroom and stripped down to my G-string. I checked the mirror and adjusted the sack to fully contain my package, and my cock swelled slightly, pulling the narrow strip of material covering my anus tight. That's going to chafe my asshole if my cock gets any harder, I thought. Be sure not to get a hard on, I cautioned myself.
I stepped out onto the pool deck surrounding an infinity pool overlooking a verdant valley with a sprinkling of mansions dotting the landscape. I looked around and I realized that mine was the skimpiest suit there. Most guys were wearing Speedos, boy-shorts, etc., but none of them had their ass cheeks out like I did. "Whoa, dressed to impress I see," Scott said.
"Yeah, well I thought gay guys liked to flaunt their goods so figured there'd be more guys dressed like me here. Oh well," I replied.
