Note: autobiographical, not fiction. Lucky me.
***
The idea of sucking cock did not appeal to me for the first 50 years of my life. Then, the love of my life left me, claiming I was too dominant to put up with. In an emotional turmoil, I began to investigate websites about how to be less dominant. Web searches for such things as 'female led relationships' or 'wife led marriage' did not, surprisingly, lead me to psychological self-help sites. However, the idea of submitting sexually to a woman touched a place in me I didn't know I had, I had always been the spanker, not the spankee. I had been the one to put someone in handcuffs and take them out in public to face possible embarrassment and humiliation. The idea of submitting was new, but not repulsive. In fact, the more I considered it, the more I understood it. I had been a dominant because I wanted my partner to enjoy it. I wasn't a sadist, who just wanted to cause pain; I wanted to cause sensual pain; pleasurable pain.
Continuing to search femdom type sites, I then found cuckold and sissy sites. Women 'forcing' their men to do things they didn't want to do, just to please her. At first, I didn't think this was a way I wanted to go, but in time, I accepted that total submission meant doing what my partner wanted. Being comfortable with the idea of sucking a cock in front of her led, in time, to being comfortable with sucking a cock even when she was not present. From here, it was just a small step to accept that I was a submissive male who wanted to serve men with my mouth.
At this point, I considered my options, and quickly realized that finding a man who wanted a 'no-strings' sexual romp would be much easier than finding a woman who wanted one. Women don't have to advertise; in five minutes in a bar, or store, or line at a bank, etc., they can find a sexual partner. It is harder for men. We do have to advertise. Thank you internet! After the decision to go looking for men it only took a day to find my first match. Over the next few years I was with eleven men, some memorable, most not.
The next big step, for me, came after I retired and moved to another state. I was more willing to be publicly known as, if not gay, certainly bisexual. An internet ad came up in the man for man section:
"Orgy. Two to Six p.m. Saturday at ______. All tops, bottoms and switches are welcome."
I could not turn down such an opportunity to be the slut I needed to be. With nervous anticipation, I drove to the address. I sat in my car until I saw several other guys enter the house. Timidly, I knocked at the door and was welcomed by a tall, thin, silver-headed mature man. Inside, I met four other invitees, who were already naked. Unsure of what to do, I kept my pants on until asked by the homeowner, Bob, if I was planning to stay.
