My First Night at the Baths

The entrance to the baths is a sexual portal absorbing each man who enters, transporting him to a world of steam, sweat, and fantasy. The well-dressed business man becomes a submissive bottom, begging for the sweet torture he thinks he deserves. The barista watches you through a thick cloud of steam, pleasuring himself to the smell of musk that lingers in the air. As I waited for my chance to cross this barrier, my mind wandered. The men who seemed so unremarkable in line, the ones I couldn't tell apart from any other man on the street, what were they doing on the other side of the door? Groping, tasting, eyeing, fucking. Who do they become after crossing this threshold? And would they do those same things to me?

The hard buzz of the door alarm and the loud clang of the lock disengaging shocked me back to reality. I was drenched in a mix of curiosity, excitement, and fear. An addicting combination that I continue to chase. Could the other men smell it on me? I hoped so.

Through this portal, I am transformed. A perversion of myself who is more powerful, promiscuous, and pleasuring. Here, I have no name, but a number. I'm assigned a locker, located in the liminal space where the standard courtesies of the outside world are ceremoniously stripped away. The ritualistic undressing, wrapping yourself in a towel, and shuffling off to the showers allows one to accept this new set of rules. Glancing isn't forbidden, it's encouraged. Boundaries are tested as closeness becomes a greeting. As I begin to disrobe, a man turns himself to shuffle past me. Whether by accident or as an invitation, his flaccid cock brushes ever so slightly against my leg.

In the span of just a single, short moment, I imagine all the things that he might do to me. Where he might put his cock. The ways in which I'd make him cum. How I'd let myself be worn away by his constant, rhythmic pounding while he holds me against the wall.

I notice that my cheeks have become flush as I am filled with a heat like blushing, but deeper. A sort of primal fire had sparked in me. The same craving that had brought me to this place. I was suddenly both thirsty and salivating. The warm glow that had started in my chest had now extended down through my body into my thighs. The baths had already brought out a duality in me. A simultaneous urge to both cover myself and reveal more. Embarrassment and eagerness. Shame and desire. Logic and lust. I wanted to feel them all.

With just a soft graze against my leg, this stranger's dick had been the catalyst for my transformation.

---

The deep sensuality of the sauna had an immediate effect on me. Like a modern day Lupercalia, this dark cave of suckling beasts heightened my senses. My understanding of the world was being purged to make place for these new, intense experiences. The soft, wet sounds of mouths on skin, the woodsy smell of cedar plank walls, the muted, rhythmic pounding of flesh on flesh. This crowd of men, each with such striking variations in their bodies. Their cocks looked so different from each other. So different from mine. Some men had hair where I have none, and others were impossibly smooth. How might each of their bodies feel under the touch of my hand, or pressed up against my own? How might their cocks might feel in my mouth, as I extend my jaw to make those same soft, wet sounds? Closing my eyes, I breathed in the steam as my erotic daydreams continued. The warm, wet air poured into my lungs, stoking that fire I had come here to ignite.

---

I found my place in the sauna at an empty seat on a bench of shadowed men. For several moments, I sat in silence, simply observing. After some time, the man seated next to me stood up. Though he was obscured by humid darkness, he appeared to be a middle aged man, bald, with caramel-brown skin. A 'daddy' type.

As he walked closer to the sauna's heating mechanism, his body was illuminated by the warmth of a nearby light. He was about average height, had a well-groomed mustache, and a slightly muscular build. A coarse, dark fur covered his chest, tapering slightly as it drifted down toward his crotch, leading to an untamed bush of pubic hair. Though I tried to be discreet in my staring, his eyes caught mine. My heart sank and my pulse raced. I felt both afraid and alive. My blood rushed through my body, further heightening my senses. This man had activated something in me and I needed more.

He shook a few drops of scented oil onto the heater, filling the room with a strong, calming herbal scent of mint and eucalyptus. Breathing it in, I felt a slight easiness return to my body.

Something about this indirect interaction had broken the tension. With a look, he had told me that he wanted me. By catching my glance, he knew that I wanted him too.

As the man returned to his seat, he held his towel in a way that draped over his cock, hinting at a thick bulge below.

Though we didn't speak, I was now acutely aware of his presence. His gaze was like a physical touch, reaching out to feel every inch of my body. I loosened my grip on my towel, letting my cock slip out from under its cover. A diamond of precum glistened at the tip, catching on the towel and causing a thick strand of wetness to fall against my leg. The sensation caused my balls to drift upward toward my body, sending a wave of pleasure through me.

Though my mind was warning me of danger, I turned my head and met his eyes. His gaze flicked between my eyes and my cock, offering a tacit proposal of what he wanted to do to me. With this, I gave myself permission to stare more deeply. My eyes traced the contours of his body, gliding down his sweaty chest, through the fur of his belly, along his thick, strong thighs, and to his perfectly erect cock. It jumped up and down ever so slightly with the man's pulse, a sign of his intense arousal. The glistening head peeked through a shroud of foreskin. It was begging to be touched, tasted.

---

We locked eyes, daring each other to be the first to move closer. Slowly, he spread his thighs to let me know where he wanted me. Almost subconsciously, I mirrored his actions. As I revealed more of myself to him, our knees touched. The icy fear in me melted, giving way to pure lust. Like a circuit being completed, this connection, this electric touch, turned me on. I leaned in closer, to test the boundary of proximity. How close was too close? Close enough to feel his breath on my skin? Close enough to kiss? My entire consciousness became focused on how the length of his upper arm pressed firmly against mine. Parts of my body that I never spent too much time being aware of-- my knees, my forearms, my toes-- felt more alive than ever as they connected with his skin. I dared to reach my arm out to his thigh, skin gliding on skin, my fingertips kissing the top of his leg, as if to ask "is this ok?"

He spread himself apart further, to acknowledge and accept my request. My palm sank into the heat of his flesh. Melting, hungry as it explored this small piece of beauty, massaging the firm muscles and tendons below his supple, furry skin. Every inch of me was starving for him in a way that I had never before experienced. My hands searched his body to find fulfillment. In response, his hands began to search across my body as well. His touch was firm and reassuring. An animal magnetism pulled me closer, closer.

My body ached for his intimacy. He had something that I needed. That only he could provide. And I would dredge it out of him like my life depended on it. Layer upon layer of reality began to peel back. Like two parts of one being, I could sense the exact path of his breath as it ran against the hairs on my body. Each pore, each follicle screaming for more.

I could no longer tell where his body began and mine ended. Running my tongue along the saltiness of his neck, I felt our shared pulse filling my mouth. As if I were pulled by a current, my tongue drifted lower, lower. I wanted to spend hours tasting every inch of him, but the hunger in me was too strong to resist. As if a force stronger than me had grabbed me by the mouth and forced me down, I was lured to his crotch. I allowed myself a moment to breathe in the rich musk of a man who had been sitting in the sauna for some time. I was possessed by his sex, his scent, his touch. Our intertwining, our melting together, our becoming whole would not be complete until he was fully inside me.

---

As I lay there, covered in his sweat and cum, I felt a sense of peace that I hadn't experienced in so long. It was as if I had been completely emptied out, cleansed, and refilled with the most pure, still spring water. Like a fallen tree, decomposing to bring forth new life, this felt like a new beginning. New organisms multiplying within me, hungry to devour the decay of my old self. The repeated ins and outs, becoming of one and then separating, the sticky pulling apart of our bodies was a mitosis allowing me to be reborn.

I sat there, against the warmth of the sauna wall, covered in this afterbirth, heart still racing, still catching my breath. I closed my eyes to savor this feeling of relief. It felt like liberation.

As a smile made its way across my face, I slowly opened my eyes. I wanted to thank this man for our shared experience. But as my focus returned to the room, I realized that he had already gone. I hadn't even noticed how still and silent the room itself had become. It was a stark contrast to the insatiable hunger that I had felt only moments ago. Had it been this way all along? It was almost as if this ritual of bodies had allowed me to manifest a new version of the world around me. It was a power I wanted to take with me.

I know that I had needed this peace, without being able to put a name to it. This unidentifiable fire in me that can only be sated by the touch of a temporary lover. A dual healing that requires more than just my own touch. Both of us in need of healing, we had formed this magical circle together.

Perhaps, then, the baths are an entity in themselves. A living organism that calls out to those who seek its shelter. A sacred space with its own customs, rites, and rituals. Like a potion requiring specific ingredients, we seek out those who we think can heal us. Through a grimoire of muscle, hair, hips, and girth, we pull forth what we think we need. This man had seen something in me that was missing in him, and I the same for him. The baths had brought us together to create something that was more than the sum of our individual parts. Though I still wanted more from him, a parting kiss, a smile, a name, I would be leaving the baths as a more complete being than when I had arrived.