I guess I was a little older than most, in my early forties, when my obsession began: to my complete surprise my fantasies started to involve men! I was always the 'bottom' in these mental meetings- and a real submissive slut too! I'd be in the shower and find myself thinking about a mysterious stranger materializing from nowhere. Not a burglar or anything menacing, just this powerful, dominant man giving me instructions: put your hands on the wall, spread your legs, stick that ass out further...
This went on for a long time before I got up the nerve to do anything about it: me jerking off to images of being this stranger's sex toy. Soapy, slippery fingers playing with my balls, cock and ass cheeks. And me unable, unwilling really, to stop it. One soapy finger, then two, pressing against my tight asshole, sliding in, stretching me, preparing me. Then hands on my hips, feeling the big cockhead pushing, overcoming my resistance with a 'pop' into my rectum. Sometimes he would pull me dripping from the shower, push me to my knees, command me to open my mouth and use it for his pleasure. That's where I decided to begin making my fantasies reality: giving head. The next step could wait no longer. And I knew, or suspected, just the man for the job too.
He was an older man, the details aren't important right now, but I was sure he was gay. He got comfortable enough with me to almost come right out and say so. He once told a story about a macho, married, blue collar guy giving his friend a blow job.
I got up the nerve to call him and said "I was thinking about what that guy did to his buddy in the story." He probably thought I wanted a blow job. I explained that I wanted him to play the part of the 'buddy.' He told me to come tomorrow after the shop closed. Just like that- no surprise, no questions asked. Damn, was there something about me that said I dreamed of cock?
Before our meeting I would jerk off thinking what his cock would feel like in my virgin mouth, how big it was, whether it was cut, how it tasted, how deep I could take it in, whether I would gag, if I would swallow, how he would look as he pumped his sperm into my mouth, how much he would cum...in short, would I be a good cocksucker?
The next day I could think of nothing but losing my virginity. I arrived a little early and watched him close up. When I was sure he was alone, I knocked on the door. He let me in, then locked the door behind us. I was trembling with anticipation, both from thinking about what I was going to do and also at the fact that there was now another person who knew my deepest desire. Until then it had only been a fantasy, locked safely away in my mind, now it was about to become a real experience.
I said I'd been thinking of doing this for a long time and that he was my first. He was older and patient and gentle and I was fortunate to have him guide me along. I had a pretty good idea how to give a blow job: I just pictured doing what I liked having done to me.