My Life Is You

People had good days, and they had bad days. If a person were lucky, the good days would outweigh the bad days. Of course, there was no guarantee in life that said they would.

Over all, he felt his good days had been more numerous than his bad days. Of course, he partially felt responsible for that. He worked hard to make sure he had a good life and good relationships with his friends and family.

Yesterday was a perfect example of how capricious fate could be. Lady Luck had taken great pleasure in keeping him on his toes. The day had started well, turned bad, become great, and then gone so deeply south that there was just no way to recover from it.

Today, however, was another story. It could still turn into a good day. After all, it was only a little after 1:00 am. There was still almost 23 hours left in the day. Surely that was enough time to turn things around.

Of course, that could only happen if Dillon woke up. If he did, the day would become one of the best of Seth's life. If he didn't, Seth wasn't sure what he would do.

He sat in the waiting room down the hall from the room where Dillon lay quiescently hooked up to machines and IVs. The chair he was using was actually more comfortable than he had expected. Maybe someone had finally wised up to the fact that people in hospital waiting rooms were going to be there quite a while and therefore deserved comfortable seating. Or, it could have just been an administrative mix-up with someone ordering the wrong furniture.

To his right, Eric was tilted back in his own chair, sleeping. Faint snores emanated from his open mouth every couple of minutes, but otherwise he was quiet. Sprite was curled up on the one couch in the waiting room, using her purse as a pillow. In a moment of random thought, Seth realized that he was impressed she had it with her. She was constantly forgetting it places. It wasn't that she was forgetful, but rather that she was so enthusiastic to keep going, she never checked to make sure she left nothing behind.

Jeremy was the only other person of their little group that was still awake. He was pretending to read an old copy of the Wall Street Journal. Seth knew he wasn't really seeing the words on the page because he hadn't turned a page in over an hour. Still, it seemed to help Jeremy, so Seth couldn't blame him for maintaining the illusion.

None of them had been allowed to see Dillon. Maybe that was the hardest part. It was bad enough knowing that he was lying in there, oblivious to the world around him, unable to reach out for help. Not being able to see him was even worse. But the head nurse of the floor was adamant about following the rules. If you weren't a blood relative, you had no rights.

She couldn't kick them out, however. They were friends of a patient and could spend as much time as they wanted in the waiting room. As long as they didn't try to actually see Dillon, they were doing nothing wrong.

If Dillon woke up and asked to see them, then they'd be allow to go to his room during visiting hours. But not until he did so could they even get close enough to spot a glimpse of his face.

Once again Seth went back to praying that Dillon would wake up. They had just found each other, and here they were, separated again. Would the universe never be kind to them?

Glancing up, he saw that it was now 3:30 am. Time was slowly flowing by. He didn't know if he should be grateful or upset. The longer Dillon failed to wake up, the less likely that he would. On the other hand, once a new shift of nurses was on duty, maybe he would be able to find someone sympathetic enough to allow him into Dillon's room.

If only Dillon had family to call upon. They could give permission for him to see Dillon. But Seth knew very little about Dillon’s family other than the fact that they had kicked him out as soon as it was legal to do so.

Of course, that’s only his parents, Seth thought to himself. Other family could do something.

“Jeremy,” Seth spoke softly, not wanting to wake either Sprite or Eric. Once he had Jeremy’s attention, he continued. “Is there anyone we should call? I know Dillon doesn’t get along with his parents, but what about any aunts, uncles, or cousins?”

Jeremy sighed. “I honestly don’t think so. I’ve never heard him mention anyone, but then he won’t talk much about his past. He might have other relatives, I guess. Either way, they haven’t seemed interested in him if they are out there.”

Seth cursed. “He shouldn’t be alone. Not in his life and especially not now. Someone who loves him should be in there with him.”

Moving to squat down in front of Seth, Jeremy took his hand. “He’s not alone, you know. He has you and me. We love him and he knows it.”

* * *

The first thing he realized was that he was thirsty. His lips weren’t dry and cracked, so it hadn’t been an inordinately long time since he drank anything, but his mouth felt arid.

The second thing that hit him was a sense of déjà vu. The sound of a beeping monitor reminded him that he had enacted this scene before. He knew exactly where he was, even though he could see nothing. The sounds of a hospital full of patients being woken up for the day mingled with the cloying smell of sickness that never went away, no matter how much antiseptic was poured upon it.

He wasn’t sure why he was in the hospital this time. He didn’t remember anything that would have led to a hospital stay, but then, he didn’t remember the car accident that had changed his life, either.

What was the last thing he remembered? He scanned his memory, smiling as the interlude with Seth came to mind. Yes, he definitely recalled that.

Afterward they had gone to sleep. He had slept well, sated and secure. But then, he’d awoken for some reason. Seth was just leaving. Where had he gone? Dillon couldn’t remember.

“Seth?” Dillon called out tentatively. He couldn’t imagine that Seth wouldn’t be nearby, but he wasn’t sure if he would disturb another patient. “Seth,” he called out a bit louder.

There was no reply. Dillon tried to sit up, wanting to get out of bed. The IV in his hand and the wires leading to his chest and nose all pulled him back down.

He waited for a nurse to notice he was awake or for a machine to signal a change and send someone to check on him. Nothing. No one appeared to take his blood pressure or shoot anything into his IV. He heard people walking past in the corridor outside his room, their soft-soled shoes squeaking against the floor. He tried to call out to them, but his mouth was still so dry that he couldn’t manage much in the way of volume.

Dillon decided to get someone’s attention. He wanted up out of this bed and he wanted his boyfriend NOW and he wasn’t willing to wait any longer. He reached up and ripped off one of the electrodes pasted over his heart, hissing at the pain of the glue taking off some of his skin and hair.

Immediately an alarm started going off from a machine to his right. It was loud and insistent. Footsteps out in the corridor hurried toward his direction and there were voices calling to each other.

Pulling another wire away from his chest, Dillon struggled to sit up even as he heard people rushing into his room. The IV in his hand sent a twinge of pain up his arm, but he ignored it.

A cart being rolled down the hall made a loud sound. A liquid voice called out, “Forget the crash cart! He’s awake and making it known!”

“What is going on?” Dillon demanded, pulling a third wire away. “Why am I in the hospital and hooked up to every machine in the damn building like some science experiment?”

“First, let’s just calm down,” the woman said in a soothing voice.

Dillon swallowed, attempting to wet his mouth before speaking again. “You can calm down,” Dillon replied. “I want to know what’s going on and why Seth isn’t here.”

“Is Seth a relative that we can call?” the woman asked, still trying to soothe Dillon. She was lightly stroking her fingertips over his right arm.

“No, he’s not a relative, he’s my boyfriend,” Dillon didn’t hesitate to reveal. He only had one thought, and that was to see the man he loved, no matter who he had to yell at to make it happen.

“Oh, well that explains why he’s not here,” she responded. “Only relatives are allowed to see a patient when he or she is unconscious.”

“What kind of stupid rule is that?” Dillon demanded. He knew he was being short-tempered and rude, but he still didn’t know why he was here or where Seth was. Seth was all he had to cling to at the moment, and clinging was what he was doing.

“I’m sorry, it’s just the rule of most hospitals. Would your Seth be nearby?”

“Is there a waiting room anywhere around here?” Dillon asked. “He’ll be there.”

“Well, then, I’ll go ahead and examine you, ask you a few questions, and then I’ll send someone to the waiting room. If Seth is there, we’ll have him brought in.”

* * *

Seth was fighting exhaustion with everything in him. His eyes badly wanted to shut and his head to drop back onto the chair behind him.

He knew part of it was physical exhaustion, but the larger component was emotional exhaustion. He and Dillon had been through so many ups and downs during the time they had known each other. It was like riding a roller coaster. It could be exhilarating at first, but after too long a run, you just wanted off.

That wasn’t to say he wanted out of his relationship with Dillon. Far from it. He just realized he wanted a more normal, everyday sort of life. The kind where they did little things for each other, fought over who was going to fold the laundry, and fell asleep in each other’s arms every night.

To his surprise, he wanted a husband. And not just any husband. He wanted Dillon for his husband. For them to commit to each other, to declare before everyone that they would be together for the rest of their lives.

He’d found a sympathetic nurse who had revealed that Dillon’s vital signs were improving, but he still hadn’t been allowed to see him. Each moment gone by, not knowing what was going on and not being able to see it for himself, was sheer tortured.

“Is there a Seth Evans here?” Seth’s head jerked up at the sound of his name.

“I’m Seth Evans,” he replied, pushing himself quickly from his chair, and then sitting back down just as quickly as a wave of dizziness overtook him. He was still a bit weak from his own hospital stay and thirty-six hours without sleep and no real food was taking its toll.

The nurse who had called his name moved forward. She was a tall black woman with exotic features. Her body was lean and she moved with a grace that you saw in few people.

“You look like you need to be in here just as much as your partner, Mr. Evans,” she said in a voice that reminded him of café au lait. He shook his head. How could a voice be like coffee? He really was punch drunk. “In fact, I think Dillon looks more rested than you do.”

“Is he okay?” Seth asked.

“Other than the fact that he’s royally teed that you’re not in his room, holding his hand, he’s good,” she said. Eric reached over and squeezed his hand, while Sprite clapped hers in joy. Jeremy just sank back into his chair, silent tears of relief slipping down his face. “So, I’ve come to lead you back.”

Once again Seth stood up, but being more careful this time. He never glanced at the others with him, he just moved forward. Everyone else was forgotten in the realization that Dillon was okay and soon they’d be together again.

The room was as good as private. There were no other patients in the two other beds. Not that they would have mattered. Seth only had eyes for Dillon.

Dillon’s head moved toward the door the moment Seth stepped over the threshold. Somehow, Dillon had sensed him, even though Seth had been unaware of making any noise.

“Hey, Babe, where ya been?” Dillon asked, holding out his arm in Seth’s direction.

Seth stepped forward and took Dillon’s hand, raising it to press Dillon’s palm against his mouth. He closed his eyes and just held for a moment.

“I’ve been to Hell and back,” he said. “But that’s okay, because I’m in Heaven now.”

* * * EPILOGUE

“Where are we going?” Dillon asked, angling himself toward Seth in his seat.

“I have a friend that has an Ayurveda Wellness Spa,” Seth replied. “We’re headed there.”

“What on earth is iyaved?” Dillon asked, knowing he looked confused.

“Ayurveda is an ancient Indian medical tradition,” Seth explained as he took the ramp onto the expressway. “My friend, Rick, is a great believer in it. It helped him after he was involved in an awful explosion.”

“How did it do that?”

Dillon heard Seth sigh. There was silence between them for a moment, the only sound that of other cars passing them or being passed as they sped along to various destinations.

“I was Rick’s therapist,” Seth began. “His injury was very nearly fatal. He had third degree burns covering the majority of his body, and second degree burns covering the rest. He was transferred here because the burn unit at Crestwick Sinai is one of the best in the country.

“But I could only do so much for him. I really was pleased with his progress, the fact that he had learned to walk and function again, but I knew there was little chance of him ever doing it comfortably.

“Then someone mentioned Ayurveda and that it’s supposed to have amazing healing properties. Rick figured he had nothing else going on in his life and little to lose, so he might as well check it out. He went to an Ayurveda Wellness Spa up in Canada, not too far from Toronto. When he came back a week later, the change was remarkable. He still had pain, but he was moving better, and the pain wasn’t as severe.

“Rick spent three years going up there once a month. Finally, he decided to look into building a spa down here. The rest, as they say, is history.”

“That’s amazing,” Dillon responded. “Is that why we’re going? You thing this iyaved stuff will help me somehow?”

Another sigh. “I wish I did Dillon. The truth is you are blind, and there’s nothing that can be done about it. Modern medical science and your dedication to your therapy regimen have done everything to restore your former mobility and strength to you. Jeremy even says you’re in better shape now than you were before your accident. No, we’re headed to Rick’s place because there’s a treatment I think you’ll definitely enjoy, and after the difficult times we’ve had, I think we both deserve some rest and relaxation.”

Dillon smiled to himself. Seth might not be taking him there to be helped physically, but Dillon knew the truth. This was a treatment for him; it was just for his spirit rather than his body. It seemed that Seth’s love for him showed in every word, every action, and Dillon carefully noted each instance and held it close to his heart.

The sound of the car tires crunching over gravel aroused Dillon from his reverie. They must have arrived at the spa. Even while still within the car, the atmosphere of the area seemed very peaceful.

Birds sang out from their roosts high in the trees. There was a light breeze and somewhere near by there was a brook that actually babbled as it flowed over its rocky bottom. They weren’t far from the city geographically, but they could have been out in untouched country.

The door next to Dillon was pulled open and an unfamiliar voice urged him to step out. The minute he did, Seth was there to lead him away from the car and into the Spa.

Their footsteps rang on the wooden floors as they crossed an open area. Seth then stopped and a female voice with a heavy Indian accent said, “Welcome to Wellbeings, how may I help you?”

“We’re Seth Evans and Dillon Marshall, and we have a reservation.” Seth responded.

“Ah, yes, Mr. Evans, Rick has been most eagerly awaiting your arrival. I promised to let him know the moment you got here.” There was a sound that Dillon took to be the dialing of a phone, and a moment later a murmured conference took place before the receiver was hung up. “Rick is on his way to greet you. Would you mind filling out this registration form while you wait?”

Dillon stood quietly next to Seth. He inhaled deeply. There was a fresh, pleasant scent to the place. He had half expected the scents of saffron and curry, like in an Indian restaurant. There were definitely spices in this scent, but none he could recognize.

“Seth!” a deep voice with a Southern accent drawled out. “It’s so good to see you again. It’s been way too long.”

“Rick, look at you,” Seth responded, a note of pleasant surprise in his voice. “You’re moving without any limp or anything.” There was the sound of the two men hugging each other, slapping each other’s backs.

“I’m telling you, Ayurveda works. You did amazing things for me, but you could only take me so far. Ayurveda has taken me the rest of the way.”

“I’m glad,” Seth replied. “Rick, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Dillon. Dillon, this is Rick Masters.”

Dillon extended his hand, hoping he was doing so in the correct direction. Soon, it was grasped by another. Rick’s hand was thick with scar tissue, the skin unnaturally smooth against Dillon’s fingertips.

“It’s good to meet you Rick,” Dillon said.

“Good, hell,” Rick responded. “It’s great to meet you. It’s about time this here guy found someone good for him.

“Now, I’m going to let the two of you skip the tour. Seth, you’ve been here before, and Dillon, I doubt you’ll be going anywhere without Seth.”

Dillon smiled. Rick was perfectly right. He wouldn’t be wandering off on his own, and it wasn’t because he was blind. He just didn’t want to ever be separated from Seth again if he could help it.

“Sandhya will take you to your rooms. Your bags should already by there. Go ahead and change into the robe and slippers provided before coming back down. I took the liberty of scheduling the two of you for a warm stone massage together, my treat. After that, Dillon you have a body wrap, just as Seth requested.”

With that, Rick was gone and the woman from the desk led them off. They quickly changed and moved back down to the main room, which is where they would be fetched for their treatments.

They had sat only a moment when someone came to summon them. They were led down into what the masseuse called the grotto, where another masseuse waited.

There was a small waterfall nearby. Dillon could hear and smell it. Soft music played and the setting seemed perfect for relaxation.

Their tables were close enough together that Dillon could hear the soft sound of Seth breathing. The massage was incredible, the warm stones heavy on their bodies as they melted away tension.

Afterward, they donned their robes again and went back up the main room. While drinking from cups of green tea, they chatted quietly, speaking of nothing in particular.

“What is this body wrap I’m supposed to have?” Dillon finally asked.

“It’s heaven,” Seth replied. “That treatment is my main reason for coming here. First, you’re given a sea salt body scrub. Next, you’re slathered with mud that’s scented with aromatherapy and wrapped in heated blankets. While the minerals in the mud soak in, you’re treated to a scalp and foot massage. Then, you’re washed off under a seven-headed Vichy shower that is suspended over the table. Finally, moisturizer is massaged into your body.”

“It sounds wonderful,” Dillon replied. “But, I’m not so sure I like the idea of some stranger having his or her hands all over me.”

“You were fine during our massage just now,” Seth pointed out.

“Yes, but you were there with me. I knew that nothing bad would happen while you were around. Are you having the wrap at the same time as I am?”

Seth hesitated before responding. When he finally spoke, it was with a touch of embarrassment in his voice. “Actually, I’m going to be giving you your treatment. I wanted it to be a surprise for you. I know how much you have enjoyed the massages I’ve given you in the past, and I wanted to give you something really special.”