It was clear he took no enjoyment from this and he did feel empathy towards me. I stared at the floor before tears welled in my eyes. He thought I was close to crying, and I was before my shock passed and I began to feel numb. I hated Garland! That was a lie. I loved him but I couldn't stay with someone who cheated on me then lied about it. No matter how much he meant to me.
I walked out of the room with Hakaryu calling after me. I ran along the corridor and bumped into my boss, not looking back as the threats poured out of my superior. I dialled Garlands number and listened to the voicemail, hearing his sweet voice making my heart die a bit more. I spoke when I heard the dial tone.
"Garland. I know what you did," I spoke. Every word tore through me like a thousand daggers and made my heart bleed out and finally stop.
"I will go back to my house now. You know how long it takes," I continued "Have all your shit and yourself gone by the time I get back. Delete my phone number. I will never see you again. I do not have a heart that loves you and I have the courage to make my love with you unknown. Goodbye Garland," I hung up.
On the bus it dawned on me that I had no desire to go home. My bed smelled like Garland and would remind me of all the wonderful nights we had cuddling, fucking or simply laying next to his warm body and stroking his hair, watching his chest rise and fall in rheumatic pattern. I hastily pressed the button and got out, waiting at the stop for the bus I really wanted.
It came and I got on, fighting tears the entire hour journey before I got to the house. The door was modern and I knocked, praying he would answer. He did and I flung myself into the arms of Gideon. He stumbled back before letting me in, telling me to sit before going to make herbal "tea".
I looked around his house and cringed. It was of horrible decor and mainly art nouveau themed. I looked around and imagined a wonderful black wall and a Victorian coo coo clock to replace his current one. I imagined a matte black Georgian style couch, then realised I'd like living in his house, it was the right size for two people. Mine was too small for myself and a lover.
Gideon returned and offered me the cannabuttered tea. He sat beside me and cuddled me, his arms hanging down my neck and his finger lightly tracing my collarbone. He noticed my exasperation and body language.
"Tell me what's wrong," he cutely insisted, his lips in a pout.
I explained about Garland and the cheating. Gideon listened intently before I finished by saying I hated him. I still didn't hate Garland of course but I hated what he had done, more so because he'd lied. And I wanted to impress Gideon. It was only then I noticed how beautiful Gideon's dull eyes were, like sapphires dug up after thousands of years untouched.
