My New Personal Assistant: Chapter 14 -- Crossing the lines
Thomas crossed the distance between us in three fast steps and bodychecked me on the tiles beneath me. I managed to keep my head from hitting the ground, but my back sent waves of pain to my brain from that impact. I grunted and grabbed him by the neck, pulling him up while he sat on me, straddling my hips, trying to pin my arms to the floor. I turned my body with all my strength to get him from me, but it looked like he knew what he was doing, and within a few minutes, I was wiggling under him, trying to break free.
"His name."
"No!"
"You just making it worse, Matt."
"Good."
He looked at me with a cruel grimace as he leaned closer to my lips, staring at me. He knew I was already too well-conditioned for him to kiss me. Yet he was depriving me of that now. I raised my head, trying to reach his lips, and he moved just so slightly that my open mouth missed his. I growled.
"You are playing a dangerous game, slut."
"Kiss me, fucker!"
"Tell me his name."
"Why do you think I know it?"
"Do you?"
I was quiet. I didn't know how long I could play this cat-and-mouse game.
Thomas took my silence as an answer. He put my arm lower and fastened it with his leg. Fuck! He definitely did this before. I struggled with all my might, but he somehow got the upper hand every time. I need to work on this!
He reached for the belt near us. I froze, and he saw that. A sadistic grin glowed on his face. He pulled the sides, creating a sharp sound as leather slapped against the leather. I felt chills that frightened me to my very core. I watched his hands, and I was shaking all over my body. His smile disappeared, and he observed me closely as he did that again.
I fucking flipped. The adrenaline rushed through my bloodstream, and I threw him off me with such strength that I would send a smaller man to the hospital. I grabbed his throat and mounted him, punching him in the face. Thomas roared! He twisted my arm with a fast, methodical move, so suddenly, I couldn't react in time. My head hit the floor, and in the short moment of disorientation, he pulled my arm behind my back.
I felt his arm putting me in a chokehold; all I could do was grip it with my free hand so I could breathe.
"You will never again strike me like that, Matt. Is that clear? I will break that arm if you do that again! IS -- THAT -- FUCKING -- CLEAR?"
His screaming voice woke me up, bringing me to reality.
"Yes," I stammered while gasping for air.
"NEVER!" he screamed into my ear.
"Yes," I said weakly, realizing I was about to faint.
I heard his roar behind me. He was angry beyond himself. I thought I should brace for the worst, not even knowing what that could be, but the way his voice was trembling with anger was frightening. Finally, he let go of me. He stood up and threw something against the wall. I lay there gasping for air.
"Get up!"
I pulled myself to my knees when I felt the belt around my neck like a noose. With his second hand, he grabbed strands of my hair and pulled on the belt so hard I tilted back.
"You are like a badly trained dog! I am not into puppy play, but I will find a way to tame you!"
"Thomas..." I couldn't breathe.
He watched me pulling on that belt, gasping. He watched me and must have known that I was unable to breathe because he released me just at the point when I thought I would die here. I coughed when I felt him hitting me. I fell on the floor. Spent.
"How is it okay for you to hit me then?"
"Because you sick fuck enjoy it!"
"And you don't?"
He squatted in front of me. He was still holding the belt firmly around my neck.
"Matt. Do you remember when we sat at that table that Friday afternoon and went through things that we would not do?"
"Yes."
"Did I tell you that you will never hit me with your fist?"
"Yes."
"Did you then tell me I could hit you like that?"
"Yes."
"Matt, I am a sadist. I never enjoyed the pain inflicted on me. Yes, I love to struggle and fight for dominance with my subs, but there is a line. Things I don't enjoy. You just crossed an important line we both agreed on. Not only you broke the duration of our agreement, but you also broke my trust in the play with you. Trust is something you build, it's earned, and when I cannot trust you, I will not even consider having anything with you."
I realized he was right. I could not even tell him why I hit him. The whole situation was beyond me. I looked into his eyes. He was disappointed in me, angry, sure, but he was hurt.
"I am sorry."
He looked torn somehow; his sad, caring eyes traveled on my face as if he realized this was a mistake.
"Matt, you don't even know what you want. You are not a masochist; you love inflicting pain. I am not the right partner for you."
"You loved it when I dominated you back then." I looked at him accusingly. He can tell me whatever he wants, but I saw it when I fucked him. I fucking raped him that Sunday, and he came hard!
"I must admit I did. I don't know why. With any other sub, they would pay greatly for what you did to me. Yet I couldn't get enough."
"I am not a sub, Thomas."
"That is even more reason why I don't think this could work. I don't want to be with another sadist. I want a masochist who loves to struggle and surrender. I want to hunt and rape my victim. But I know the difference between right and wrong and the ethical and moral consequences if I would do that to the wrong person. I want a masochistic sub. You are not one, Matt. And no matter how much you may think you want this, you will never be one."
"No, I will not. I will fight you to the very end, and if I win, I will enjoy you squirming beneath me in agony as you would cum. You may say you don't want that. But I think part of you needs it, just like I need to be dominated by a guy, even though I am not gay."
He was looking at me strangely. Silent.
"What do you think you want, Matt?"
"This! I need this!"
"Okay. I will fuck you today, Matt. But you will not enjoy it. After that, I will take time off work. I need space from you to think about this."