My New Personal Assistant: Chapter 29 - Lion's den
"You should go now, Matt," Tomas's voice was rough, nearly ominous.
All my senses screamed at me, and I knew what I would see when I raised my eyes to meet his. I could now tell it just by that tone drilling into my soul.
"Why?" like a person possessed, I stepped toward him.
"Cos I've been holding back for too long now. It's getting dangerous."
Fuck! Chills ran through me as he said that. I knew perfectly well he was losing control now. I saw him in his calm and stoic, and I saw him in rage when he became a beast not holding any bars! His eyes tried to warn me. Doesn't he already know well enough that it makes me even more crazy for him?!
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"How long can lions last without food?"
"What?"
"Lions. They hunt once a week, but what if they won't be able to eat for longer than that?"
I saw sides of him that probably not many people witnessed, I relished in that thought, yet I was yearning to know the one he decided to hide from me on purpose. From all the interrogations I made his exes go through, I learned how different Thomas was when he was with me compared to anyone else. He never let control be taken away from him, and he supposedly treated his subs like a different person I know.
I needed to see this side of him. I needed to feel what Owen told me about. I needed to know if it was something I could even withstand. I wanted to see this world he created with such care.
"I don't know. What is your point, Matt?"
"How long can you last, Thomas?"
"Why are you asking, Matt?"
Why is he like this? I can see it now so clearly. This rigid wall around him. Thomas stays firmly behind that wall until he spills everything on me as if the dam has just broken. Then, he lets me take him, makes love to me, and even proclaims he loves me! And then I blink, and in that short moment, he builds a new wall, more sturdy than the one before! Why?!
"Your eyes. You are starving, Thomas."
I saw I nearly had him. I could see the cracks! Thomas won't be able to resist long. I knew from the moment he saw me that he was fighting that everlasting battle within himself.
I was trying my hardest to be angry at him, to act distant, and not be swayed by that fucking horny resistance I saw in him when I walked beside him.
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I wanted to hate Thomas... Until he took me to that music room...
I could see the calmness that enveloped him as he entered. I saw the frustration when he realized what he did, probably on a whim. He, of all people, acted rashly and showed me something so dear to him.
I loved it there! I love guitars. If I had a soft spot for some things, four were standing right there next to that piano. But when I found out no one ever came there, I knew that he really did love me. But what's more - he can't control that feeling when he's with me. Knowing this and knowing now so much about the person he built around this soft core of his, I was smitten.
I don't know if I ever loved anyone the way I felt loved by him. Knowing all this now was making his dejection even harder.
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"Have you done this on purpose, Matt? Coming down here," his voice sounded weak.
"In all honesty, no. I wasn't planning on this." It was true. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to be the coldest bastard he ever met. But I couldn't. I saw his eyes under that calculating, organized, and uncompromising mask he created for himself, and fuck it all... I was lost myself.
"Then why have you come?"
"I suppose I am also crazy from hunger," I was slowly losing my voice as I wasn't even trying to will my body to stop shaking anymore. I surrendered to that entirely.
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I saw his neck strain as I knelt before him. His eyes were cloudy, his chest still as if he was restraining himself with the last resolve. Why does he keep restricting himself so much with me?
"Devour me, Thomas. Please," I saw his will tremble many times I used this voice. I saw its effect now as I was kneeling beneath him. His eyes darkened, and I saw the beast emerge from the shadows in them.
Yes, I am that metaphorical. I am also a huge romantic for the right person. Deal with it! I will break his thick shell just like he broke mine. With feelings that he cannot control and lust that no one else can satisfy! Call it my revenge for him breaking my heart; even in truth, it's my desire to be with him...
Try to break me! Try to break the person you fell in love with! I will stand through it all, and I will not give up!
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Thomas stood there for a long time, peering down at me. I waited.
His fingers wrapped the chain around my neck twice, then he reached into the drawer and pulled three of the rings from titanium I designed to fit into the links. Each works as a small but sturdy lock. Thomas examined the tightness and strength of the coils as if he had already learned how to work with them.
The cold metal sent shivers down my stomach. Thomas leaned to me closer, pulling on the long loose piece of the chain like a leash. I wanted to jump on him, pull him down, and plunge my tongue in his throat, but I resisted the urge and just stared at him with this thought apparent in my eyes.
Thomas saw it, and I could see the lightest smirk crossing his lips as if the lion had welcomed me in his den since I was stupid enough to enter!
.
Let's take this fight to your field. I can endure anything you throw my way! Just watch. I was determined. I was riled! I needed him to take me and realize he needed me the same way I do need him!
Finally, he lost it, and with a sharp movement of his wrist, his mouth collided with mine in the soul-sucking kiss we both needed so much!
I purred on his lips, craving to touch him, but I committed to the idea that I would beat him in his own game! I wanted to see him as dominant, not just a rough lover. Thomas raised himself and scrutinized me with his eyes. He saw my resolve.
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"What do you want, Matt?" his voice was the same he had when he first took me back then in my office. I exhaled, the need filling me.
"I want to see you as the person you perceive yourself to be, Thomas."
"What do you mean by that, Matt?"
"You know perfectly well what I mean..." I thought about what name I should call him. If what the guys told me it's true, he distinguishes between being called Master, which is the highest, and then the polite Sir. Or, I suppose, me, who kept calling him Thomas. He will be Tommy for me one day, but we will get there gradually. First, I need to see it all... With that, I decided...
"... Master."
His eyes said it all, I was doomed, as was he.
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Thomas yanked roughly at that chain, bringing my face to his knees. I let out a grunt as I saw him raise one and soon felt his foot on my nape, pinning me to the floor.
I heard his ragged breath. His foot pressed harder, the chain on my neck choking me. I needed to put my hands on the floor, so they get some relief from being squashed between my waist and thighs.
"Do not ever use that word if you can't handle what it may bring. This is your last chance to learn, Matthew."
Matthew? Why Matthew? Okay... I kept silent. He didn't ask a single question. I, on the other hand, kept making Owen answer so many of them that night that, firstly, I felt firsthand the thrill of someone fierce and strong submitting to you just by the tone of your voice. But secondly, I knew enough to be at least partially ready for what I wanted to experience right now.
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