Many thanks to my excellent editor,
LarryInSeattle
, for helping my words flow!
+ + +
In the three months since my best friend last visited, we never mentioned what happened between us when we spoke on the phone. Things seemed just like they had always been, but I knew that I hadn't just imagined kneeling on the floor in front of the sofa and sucking hot cum out of him while pumping my own onto the floor. I'm not certain if I was more scared or more excited when I got home from work one day and my wife told me that he had just called. He was coming to town next week and she'd told him that we expected him to stay with us and that the guest bedroom would be ready for him.
I worried that things might be somehow "weird" between us, but after he arrived on Friday evening everything seemed just like it had always been. The three of us went out for margaritas and gossiped about mutual friends. When we were alone at several points during the evening, things didn't seem any different between the two of us at all. To this day I have no words to express how relieved I was that what we had enjoyed together didn't seem to have—excuse the expression—queered our friendship. Conversation flowed freely and we stayed up late, drinking and chatting. That night I went to bed and made drunken love to my wife.
Once, when we were running around town on Saturday, my friend quipped something and I shot back with, "That's so gay!" After all, it was the 90s and the expression hadn't yet become socially unacceptable. I sort of panicked as I realized what I had just said in the context of what he and I had done on his previous visit. I looked at his expression to gauge his reaction. Out of view of my wife, he raised his eyebrows ambiguously and shot me a look that seemed to me to say, "After what your mouth did to my cock, you're calling that gay?"
My wife and her parents had for some time planned to visit relatives for the next week so Saturday night my wife packed and Sunday her parents passed by to pick her up. I fired up the barbecue that afternoon and my friend and I grilled steaks and drank beer. After dessert, he brought out the traditional joint and we enjoyed that as well.
No, things didn't get "weird" between us—not until it was time to go to bed.
I changed into pajama pants and a T-shirt and he stepped into the guest room to do the same. A few minutes later I went to see if there was anything he needed before I turned in. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling on clean socks (he had a thing about sleeping in clean socks, never barefoot) and I sat next to him as we talked.
There was a change in the air. Suddenly, we were alone and physically closer than we had been since his last visit trip. We both seemed to have trouble speaking. I could hear my pulse pounding in my ears. We were uncomfortable, but I was helpless to move away.
"So, how do you feel about, you know, what we did last time I was here?" he asked softly.
"I—I'm pretty o-okay with it," I stuttered, shaking a little bit, hoping he didn't notice. "No guilt and—as long as we're still friends—no regrets."