But it wasn't like before. There was no vacuum. But I can't say I dreamed. I could still hear people moving around me. Hands on me. Not the hands I wanted but it was good to feel again. Even if it hurt sometimes. Or it was hard to breath, especially when they cranked the bed up. But I didn't stop, and neither did my heart. I guessed this was the waning I kept hearing about. I was in and out. Everytime I opened my eyes, I hoped to see him again but there was no such luck.
"You must be some kind of wonderful," Chrissy said at one point as she opened the shades to let the sun in and after so much time in the dark I appreciated it. "We had to open the conference room for everybody waiting to see you. The doctor will be here in a little bit to give the final word so hopefully in the next couple hours we can get you extubated." I rolled my eyes at the "couple hours" part and she giggled a little. "I know, I know but trust me it's better to be safe than sorry. Just sit tight and rest a little while longer. Trust me you'll be begging to be left alone before too long." I didn't really believe her and judging by the look on her face, Chrissy knew it. She adjusted my pillows and changed the channel on my tv from the information channel to ESPN. I watched for a little while before I drifted off again.
I woke up just as she and the doctor were coming back into the room. I wasn't sure how long I was out since Sportscenter was still on, all that matter to me was Chrissy cranking my bed back down. She didn't have to tell me what was about to happen but she did anyway. She narrated every move she made, from detaching the ventilator from the tube in my mouth to working the suction tube down my throat. My heart monitor went crazy a few moments but it didn't last and the doctor went about pulling the tape off my lips. He tried to be gentle and I appreciated it. Whatever meds they were pumping through my IV were doing nothing to stop the pain of my beard hair being yanked out.
"Alright big guy. Let's get this out," he said with a pat to my chest. "It's going to be irritating and I want you to cough. Don't try to hold it in. Ready," he said but I wasn't sure what he expected from me by way of answer. I tried to shrug my shoulders but I wasn't sure if I succeeded until they both laughed. "That's what I like to see," he said before he counted down from 3 to 1 and gave the tube a pull.
Irritating was not a strong enough word for how it felt. I could have sworn he pulled my lung out with it but I saw the end of it and it was clean. And I hacked like hell as Chrissy raised the head of my bed back up. She put the suction tube back in my mouth to clear out the gross mucus that came up with my coughing, and held it there until it subsided. As she did the doctor worked a oxygen tube up my nose and around my ears. He told me to breath deep through my nose and I did as he asked as best I could. Which turned out to be good enough. Slowly the beeping on my monitor returned to a steady pace.
"You did great Neville," Chrissy said and pat my hand.
"Now listen big guy," the doctor said and I turn my head a little to look at him. "We aren't out of the woods just yet but this is the first step. Albeit a big one but still, it may be slow going from here. We lost you on the table twice trying to get those bullets out. Your brain scans came back normal but that doesn't mean you'll be back to normal right away. You might find it difficult to speak even if you understand everything going on around you. It will be frustrating but be patient. We'll get you through this."
It was a lot to take in. Shit I still wasn't sure how I ended up in the hospital. I mean, obviously I'd been shot but when. The last thing I remembered was leaving my house. I don't even remember where I was going.
"Just keep breathing through your nose and out through your mouth. And keep coughing. It's going to hurt but you need to get your lungs back working on their own. I know you don't want the tube going back in." I shook my head at that and the doctor smiled, gave my shoulder a pat. "Alright big guy I'm going to leave you in Chrissy's capable hands. Welcome back." And like that he was gone.
"So Neville which of your loved ones you want me to send in first. They're chomping at the bit."
I knew what I wanted to say and trust me I tried but the signals kept getting crossed between my brain and mouth. Frustrating wasn't a strong enough word, but the doctor told me to be patient. I took a deep breath, cleared my head, and focused on what I wanted to say.
"Him."
