I couldn't be there. I couldn't stay there. I didn't know what came next. I hadn't looked at the script. I just knew I couldn't be there.
I tripped down the stairs of brownstone and out onto the sidewalk of Richmond's Fan District. It was dark already. I instinctively turned left, toward the downtown area, and shuffled along with my hands in the pockets of my jacket. At least I had my jeans jacket. The weather had turned nippy. It had been much warmer just a few minutes earlier, when I'd gotten back. I just had on a T and my jeans, though, having pulled them on quickly at his command. It wasn't cold when he'd sent me out. But I was cold now. I was shivering. I don't know if that was from the cold, though.
Nick had sent me out for cigarettes. I didn't even notice until I got back that he had almost a full carton right there on the nightstand.
He'd sent me away so I wouldn't see.
Where was I heading. I didn't know. But, yes I did. I was so keyed up, there was only one place for me to go when I was in this state. Nick had denied himself to me for so long. It was driving me crazy. I'd never gone this long without it before. He was so controlling. And to come home, after a fool's errand, and to find him . . . .
I had to let off steam before whatever came next. There was only one place. Davey's Locker. I hadn't been in there for ages, and I'd heard it had gotten a lot rougher. And it was Saturday night. High party night. But for how I felt, the release I needed, it was the only place I could walk to. And my body already knew that, because that's where it was leading me. Right out of the Fan District and into the seedy tenderloin underbelly of Richmond's downtown.
Davey's Locker was right there where I'd last seen it. Even more run down than before, but it was a Saturday night, and it had a good crowd and a noisy band giving off a frenetic, insistent, intoxicating beat. There were guys stripping down already and dancing on the bar—although it was a little hard to see them through the smoke clouding the room. The floor was littered with used condoms. It was going to be one of those nights.
I found a place at the bar in the wake of a Hispanic delivery guy being guided toward the back by a big black dude.
I plopped down on the barstool, ordered a bottle of beer, and swiveled around to face the room. A blond college guy was dancing just to the left of me on top of the bar. He still had his briefs on, but a clutch of construction workers were zeroed in close to him, stuffing bills in his waistband and making offers, so I doubted he'd be up there very much longer. He seemed spaced out. Well, he shouldn't have come in here if he wasn't able to take care of himself.
I was beginning to feel better already. Fuck Nick, I thought. Fuck, fuck, fuck. To go and do that to me. Well, I'd show him. All these months. I had time to make up for. When I wasn't so keyed up . . . when I'd taken care of that . . . then I'd figure out what came next.
I watched a couple of well-muscled shirtless black guys dancing real close together right at the edge of the dance floor. Practically making sex with each other right there in the middle of the crowd. But not like they were the only ones. And they were making me forget already. My eyes were slitted, watching them, and I was running my hand down my sides and felt myself hardening up inside my tight jeans. I took a couple of quick swigs of the beer to cool down. But that didn't make me feel cooler.
The black dancers were pelvis to pelvis and were undulating suggestively against each other to the rhythm of the music. The taller, thinner one, was moving a big hand, with long, sensuous fingers around the waist of the other one and I saw it disappear below the waistband of the other dancer's low slung jeans right where I could see his butt cheeks parted in the middle, and I saw the hand dig lower and lower. I could tell when the guy's fingers had found the other dude's rim, because the other dude went up on his toes and took the taller guy's face in his hands and went into a deep kiss.
Then something, a big bulky something, with heavily muscled arms and blue, red, and green tattooing spilling out of the arm and neck holes of his white T, was standing between me and the two black guys.
"Hey," he said. Another construction worker. One that I'm sure the others didn't mess with, though. Solidly built. Some sort of mixed breed. Maybe Caucasian and Vietnamese. Or Hawaiian. But something built like a Mack truck. Black hair in a pony tail; it probably came down to his shoulders when he let it down. Square jaw, a serious body builder; barrel chest, tiny waist, a six-pack to moan for. Low-slung faded jeans with construction dust on them. Construction dust on the boots too. But he'd pulled on a clean white T before coming in here. I gave him extra points for that. Slit arm holes; silky black pit hair. My cock told me I was interested. Was he next?
"Hey," I said back. I took another swig of the beer. I was probably drinking it to fast. But with what I'd just seen at Nick's, I'd be doing a lot more drinking tonight.
"Mind? You're clogging the scenery," I then said. He didn't move. He just stood there, swaying with the music a bit, giving me a sloppy grin. That's when I realized I had my hand on my piece. He seemed to enjoy the sight. If he wasn't next, I will have done something really stupid. But I wasn't in a hurry.
"I know you, don't I?" he asked, not moving—or at least not moving out of the way. He had actually moved in closer to me, jostled there by the slow swirling bodies of man meat on the make within the cloud of smoke.
I barely heard him. The band seemed to have gotten louder and to have put more of a thumping beat into the bass notes.