Nirvana

Comments and critiques are always welcome.

Please do not forget to read the first chapter if you haven't already.

*****

Round and round his fingertips went over the rim of the glass. His gaze was glued to the drink, going over what just happened a million times in his head. He couldn't get over it; neither could he tackle the awkwardness he'd created. The King of Fools strikes again, he thought.

"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. Seriously."

Owen raised his eyebrows but couldn't bring his eyes up to face him.

"This one's totally on me, I know I can be really bold."

Owen exhaled with a smile, and waved him off.

"I've never approached a guy before," he said, shrugging, "I just didn't know what to expect... Sorry."

"Please, no need to apologise." He shook his head, contemplating, "I still don't understand how you've never been with a guy."

He sipped his drink and shrugged, "Just never happened." He paused, "Honestly never thought I'd be that interested."

His emphasis on 'that' made Noel's eyebrows rise with excitement; a final reassurance that Owen was genuinely into it.

"Why, where are you on the scale?"

Owen chuckled, "You know, if you asked me that a couple of hours ago I would have said straight, no doubt."

"What do you mean?" His face was changing slowly; eyes like a dormant volcano about to erupt. Owen knew he had to choose his next words very carefully.

"I mean, that's what I tell people. What I used to tell them, anyway."

"Are you coming out right now? Is that what you're doing?" His tone was more accusatory than inquisitive. The glass in Owen's hand was on the verge of cracking under the strength of his grip.

"I... guess?" He said in almost a whisper, before Noel got up, stormed to the kitchen and collapsed on a barstool. He didn't put his beer down until the bottle was empty. The force of the bottle as he slammed it down made such a loud bang, it caused Owen to jump off the bed.

Noel sat quietly in what seemed like a prayer that lasted an eternity, tapping his fingers on the kitchen bar; Owen couldn't muster the courage to interrupt him. He got rid of his drink by pouring it in his mouth, and stood staring at Noel as his face turned red with anger. He pressed the bridge of his nose before finally breaking silence.

"Owen, you need to go."

His feet felt as heavy as his tongue did as Noel's words echoed in his ears. He urged him to repeat himself, hoping he'd heard him wrong.

"Sorry, you have to go."

"May I... " He cleared his throat then continued, "May I at least know why?"

"I don't fuck straight boys."

"I'm not."

Noel interrupted him with a humourless snicker, "What, as of today?"

Owen shrugged.

"Not convincing enough." He brought himself another bottle of beer and downed half of it, "You're nineteen, Owen. You should have made your decision a long time ago, completely uninfluenced by me. If you have just changed your mind right now, you're either fickle or confused; either way, I don't want to be held responsible."

"But, I'm not."

"Again, if you want to convince me, try a little harder."

Owen took a barstool next to him and stared him down. He knew Noel was just as disheartened as he was, yet he was tongue tied. For all he knew, he's always liked men. All through school, he had more intimate attraction towards his male friends than female ones; he knew there was something more to it than just a friendly bond.

However, being The Gay Kid in school came with a heavy burden which he wasn't ready to lift. There was one gay kid in his school, and every other day he'd show up with a black eye or scabbed knees. He didn't want that, and he wondered how any gay kid makes it out of school without any psychological trauma. So, he buried it deep down under multiple layers of denial and attributions to being 'one of those things'. Even after school, asking a man out was not an option. His attraction to men has not hit hard enough for him not to care, not before he met Noel.

He took a deep breath, gathered himself, and muttered the only sentence that he could manage.

"Nothing has ever felt righter than this. When you were kissing me, there was nothing else I wanted except... more."

"Owen," he squeezed his eyes, "What if you regret this in the morning?"

"I'm a big boy," Owen smiled, "Let me worry about me."

Noel brought his other hand to his face and covered it for a minute. There was something about Owen he couldn't quite resist. The way his lips quivered as he spoke, as he asked for more. He had a taste of those lips, and he too, wanted more. Owen was a big boy after all, Noel thought, and what's the worst that could happen.

"Fuck it," he downed the remaining half of his drink, "Might as well break all the rules for you."

Owen's heart jumped inside his chest, and he uncontrollably let out a "phew". He felt himself blush, and his cock twitching in anticipation.

"More lemonade?"

He shook his head. Noel was already drinking his third beer.

"Told you, I can't help myself around you."

He smiled subtly. "What rules are you breaking?"

"Well, you should already know the first rule."

"Don't talk about Fight Club?"

Noel rolled his eyes, then laughed along with him. "Very funny."

"Is it no straight boys?"

Noel hummed. "Second rule, I don't bottom."

Owen froze, realising what that had to mean. Not knowing whether or not he's ready for it, his lips moved despite him, "That's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." Liar, liar; he thought to himself.

"Third rule, no mixed signals." He said, sternly, "Don't put your tongue down my throat, and then two minutes later ask me to take my hands off you."

Owen laughed nervously, and blushed in embarrassment.

"And, to make it easier for you," Noel continued, "Here's the fourth rule. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, no matter how far we have gone, do not hesitate to say so."

Owen paused for a second, and said, "But wouldn't that be considered mixed signals?"

"Don't be a smartass, you know what I meant."

Owen couldn't help but laugh. He felt his blood pressure waning to normal level, he didn't know whether it was because they talked about it, or because Noel wasn't touching him anymore. He was less anxious, and more into it than he was when he walked in. He stretched his hands out, they were still shaking.

"Fuck." He whispered to himself.

"God's sake, I drank too much." Noel said, as he put down an empty third bottle. Owen hummed in agreement.

For the first time that night, Owen had the chance to look at Noel's topless body. He had fair white skin, with an obvious mid-arm tan line. The outlines of his muscles weren't visible, but his body was toned to perfection. Streaks of light brown hair scattered over his chest, condensing in a line running along the middle of his abdomen. Owen could see the shadow of a tattoo right below his navel, obscured by the way he was seated. Another tattoo of a snake ran from his shoulder down to his forearm, which Owen thought looked beautiful. He wished he could touch it. Kiss it. Lick it. The idea of wanting to kiss Noel's snake made him giggle to himself.

Noel felt Owen's piercing eyes on his body, specifically his tattoo. He felt exposed, yet confident.

"Go ahead, touch it." He said with a half-smile, and Owen complied. He ran his fingertips delicately over its slightly raised edges. The snake's mouth was open, eyes shut, and a small knife was embedded in its mid-section.

"I killed her. Four years ago." He said quietly, "I was in Australia. I rented a bed in some cheap hostel and found her hiding under there. I panicked, not knowing what to do, I grabbed my pocket knife and..."

He ran his fingers through his damp hair, sighed and shook his head at the memory. He rubbed the snake on his arm, grimacing.

"I was eighteen, and didn't know any better. A year later, I found out there was no way she could have harmed me."

"She wasn't poisonous?"

"Venomous." Owen rolled his eyes, and Noel continued, "And, no. She wasn't."

He looked over at the snake, and gave it a broken smile. "I had to always keep her with me, to remind me of what I was. What I should never be."

Owen found himself taking Noel's hand in his. They smiled at each other as Noel slowly tried to hide the sadness on his face.

"Anyway," Noel shook his head and turned his body to face Owen, pointing at the tattoo on his stomach, he said "I know you'll like this one."

It was the word 'Nirvana', inked in freestyle script horizontally below his navel. Owen placed his hand over it, feeling the warmth of Noel's skin.

"Not the band."

Owen squinted at him, "Seriously?"

"I didn't even know the band existed before I got this."

"Seriously? Who hasn't heard of Nirvana?"

"A fifteen year-old white boy who thinks he's Buddhist?" he scoffed, "I thought about getting it removed after having like three people mention the band, but it still means a lot to me. Plus, it seems to get me laid more than my personality."

Owen laughed nervously. A question about Noel's sexual partners or past relationships arose, followed by a dull sensation in his chest, which were immediately thwarted as he continued to stare at Noel's body and his obviously growing erection.

"Do you have any other tattoos?"

"No, that's it." He gave him a shrewd smile, and continued, "See for yourself."

Owen's heart leaped as he watched Noel get up and reach for his beltline. He stared eagerly as he lowered the fly, exposing dark brown, trimmed pubic hair, and no trace of undergarments. His jeans dropped, and his cock sprung out. It was thick, longer than average, but not quite pornstar long, and adorned with bulky veins. The thick head was sheathed in foreskin, and the tip reached above the tattoo as it sprung up.

"I came from a strictly religious family, so..."

Noel said as he slowly pulled the skin back.

Owen swallowed hard and frantically licked his lips. He couldn't take his eyes off Noel's perfect cock, more so after the glistening purple head was bared. He tried to get his heart rate under control, and felt himself heating up and shaking. His own trousers were tightening around his cock, and he couldn't wait to take them off. He held the back of his shirt collar and pulled it over his head.

Noel took a look at the bulging muscles of Owen's arms, shoulder and chest; admiring how his abdomen was carved into a flawless six-pack. He could almost see every fibre stretching from one tendon to the other underneath soft hairless skin, merging into folds and shortening with every minor movement. He raised his eyebrows and wolf-whistled at him.

"Please!" Owen laughed.

"God's sake, where have you been hiding all this!"

Noel extended his arm to touch him but was blocked, "Stop!" Owen pleaded, playfully. "I wanted to be a model, okay?"

"A model?"

"Yes, when I was younger. I went to the gym regularly, and decided not to stop going after that model phase had passed. Can you just," he waved him off, "You know."

"Yeah, sure. One request, though." He placed his fist over his mouth, and coughed to stifle a laugh, "Can you give me a spin?"

"Oh my God!" Owen yelled, as they both burst into laughter. He playfully stormed off, and Noel rushed after him. He reached out to grab him but ended up holding on to his necklace. He twisted it around his hand, pulling Owen towards him until they were facing each other.

Owen winced in pain and clutched his neck; Noel quickly loosened the twist, necklace still in his hand. He looked down at Owen's crimson lips, flushed face and quivering chin. He could feel his warm, hectic breath on his skin, and watched as his eyes twinkled behind fluttering lids.

"Not too late to back out, Owen." He said in a whimper, and Owen replied with a soft moan. Owen's eyebrows knitted in a frown, and he inhaled Noel's aroma deeply. He could smell a strong scent of beer in Noel's breath.

The smell sent impulses through his brain synapses like fire, and to Noel's surprise, he lodged his lips into his with a loud sigh. The taste of beer and the sweetness of Noel's mouth gave him a high, leaving him helpless. He easily slipped his tongue inside, licking every last drop of beer he managed to get. With one hand at the back of Noel's head, he forced him forward, mashing their lips together, and sucking the soul out of him.

Noel looped the necklace over his hand until it was snugly wrapped around Owen's neck. From the neck up, he turned every shade of red. The lack of oxygen to his brain added to his rush. He was so lost with the sensation that Noel was slightly taken aback, yet impressed, with how brave he had become. Grunts and deep moans echoed smoothly, dulling every hint of guilt dwelling in Owen's heart.

He was only awakened from his state when Noel hooked his fingers under his beltline, and pulled him closer. He could feel Noel's cock pushed against the naked skin of his stomach, while his own was squeezed into Noel's thigh. He paused for a second before lust was back into action. He chewed on Noel's bottom lip while the latter rubbed his cock over his jeans, as his other hand held him down by a belt loop.

The kiss was becoming more assertive, nearly violent. Owen's hands drifted all over Noel's body, the fading taste of beer rendered him more impatient, more earnest, and more chaotic. He was aware of Noel's hand over his crotch, unbuttoning his jeans. He knew at that moment that if Noel proceeded to fuck him, he wouldn't object. He felt his jeans surrender to gravity, moans uncontrollably escaping his lips into Noel's mouth.

Noel broke the kiss briefly and rested his forehead on Owen's.

"Still not too late, baby."

"Oh, Jesus!" Owen protested, and took Noel's lips in a fierce kiss. Noel grabbed the back of his neck and slowly shifted towards the bed. He pushed him down, and straddled his stomach.

Looking down at how vulnerable Owen was, face still red from exhaustion, black silky hair drooping on the bed, and eyes glistening with eagerness, he could tell Owen was putting effort into not tensing up, as a faint hint of a twitch manifested itself over his chin. He smiled at him reassuringly, and leaned forward to catch his lips. Owen moved up and met him half way. Their lips pressed together softly, and Noel let out a heavy sigh. His hair fell over Owen's face as he gently pushed him back down.

He ended the kiss with a smile, sat up, and tied his hair back with a rubber band he had around his wrist. Owen watched anxiously and bit his bottom lip. He tucked his hair behind his ears and reached out to touch Noel, who then grabbed both of his wrists, pinned them down, and snatched his bottom lip hard between his teeth. He sluggishly drew it out, then planted soft kisses on his neck.

"Remember the rules." He licked his neck up to his ear lobe and continued, "I won't do anything you don't want me to do."

Owen was a squirming, flaming mess. He wanted him to stop talking, stop stalling, stop worrying. He wanted him to continue doing what he was doing. He wanted him.

He freed himself from Noel's grip and ran his hands over his back, while Noel placed one wet kiss after the other on the soft skin of his neck. Every smacking sound made Owen's cock throb and rise in his boxers. Noel kissed down his chest, biting his nipple gently, extracting a high pitched pleading sound from between his lips. He sat up, positioning himself between Owen's thighs, and gave him a devilish smile. He pulled him up by the neck with long, bony fingers that covered most of it. The other hand hastily slid inside Owen's boxers, feeling him shiver under his touch.

"You're so beautiful." Noel whispered. Words were held back behind Owen's teeth, and all he could do was pour into a kiss what he couldn't put into words. The grip closed around his neck as their kiss deepened.

"Matthews, what are you doing to me!"

Owen's sensory threshold decreased steadily. Every touch, kiss, and nibble sent currents of electricity bypassing his brain, going straight for his cock. He managed to keep himself quiet, but in his head, he was screaming for release.

Noel wrapped his fingers around Owen's thickening cock, and the latter gasped in bewilderment, and buried his face in Noel's chest. The grip was a bit tighter than what Owen was used to. It was firmly balanced on the line between pain and pleasure; he wasn't hurting as such, but he knew he could be at any moment. Fingers constricting around him, alternating, milking. He felt precum leaking through his boxers.

He covered his lips with Noel's, stroked his firm ass haphazardly, feeling the skin yield, while his other hand was buried in his hair. His moans increased in pitch and volume whenever the grip around his cock tightened. The air was too thick for him to take in, and he couldn't tell if that was because of the slender fingers around his neck or the ones around his cock. He forced his eyes shut, and grunted loudly.

"Am I hurting you?" Noel hissed, reluctant to reduce the intensity of his clutch.

Owen shook his head, "Please don't stop." He bucked up, bumping his cock into Noel's hand.

Noel let go of his neck, leaving red marks on his skin. "Lie down." he howled. His face changing from playful and seductive to stern, and Owen didn't hesitate to obey.

Noel was down on his knees on the floor, he held Owen's legs and yanked him forward so his ass was just at the edge of the bed. Owen's dick was fully and painfully erect under precum-stained boxers. He propped himself up on his elbows, and watched excitedly as Noel lowered his underpants, eagerly kissing every inch of skin he uncovers. Red and purple patches appeared like a trail; a map to where his cock was.

Noel dropped down the boxers, hungrily kissed the soft skin where Owen's thigh met his abdomen. He planted his nose in Owen's thoroughly shaved balls and sniffed, breathing him in intensely. Owen could no longer hold himself up; he sank into the bed with a whimper. He felt a familiar powerful grip around his cock, and his eyes rolled back.

"Last chance to back out." He plastered gentle kisses over Owen's genitals.

Owen cried out, "Jesus Christ, fucking blow me already!" He couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth, it felt like he was hearing someone else.

A smile formed on one corner of Noel's lips, but he quickly went back into stiff, serious mode.

He took the head of Owen's cock into his mouth in one swift move, and the negative pressure in his mouth made the veins more engorged with blood. The warmth of his mouth sent waves of delight, paralysing Owen from the waist down. The sheets wrinkled in his hands, and he choked on his own breath, making a guttural sound in his throat. A look of sweet agony was painted on his face, his eyelids fluttered, and hips jerked up reflexively.

Noel sucked him hard -maybe a bit too hard. He twisted his fist around the base of his cock, moving it up and down in harmony with his mouth, taking him in until he hit the back of his throat. With his other hand, he reached up and took Owen's hand, and smoothly stroked it.

Owen adored that gesture more than anything. It felt intimate and sexy at the same time. He knew he was in good hands, he wasn't going to be disappointed, and he was absolutely certain that he trusted him. It was more erotic than anything he had experienced before.

Owen's free hand curled in a fist, and he brought the knuckles to his mouth, biting down, silencing himself. It seemed like even that couldn't counter the waves of pleasure gushing through his lean, weak body. Delicate, faint moans were uttered, alternating with loud gasps in the moments he lost his concentration and let his guard down.