This is the story about the most fateful week of my life. I am writing this story as a catharsis in some ways. I feel a need to express these feelings. I still wrestle with thoughts of whether this experience was good or bad for me in the long-term. The answer sometimes depends on the day.
I know there is not much sex as people may like but all of these thoughts came pouring out as I wrote. This was truly a life changing experience and writing about it helps me.
Everyone in this story is 18 years of age.
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BEACH WEEK
In some ways it is laughable to remember what I was thinking at the time. I was 18 years of age and despite my lack of experience, I thought I knew everything about myself and the world. It is good to be young and dumb. I now realize how much I had to learn but never expected to find out so quickly.
One of the traditions in our area after graduating high school is to spend a week at the beach with your classmates. Beach Week was a time honored rite of passage into adulthood, or at least that is what everyone thought even though real pressures and responsibilities were still years away for most of us.
Unfortunately, my group of friends were not the most socially gifted. We mostly stuck with ourselves and did not get invited to many parties. I wanted to go to Beach Week but most in my group were indifferent. The rest of us just did not have enough people to make renting a beach house work. This once in a lifetime opportunity slipped away. We convinced ourselves that Beach Week was not that big of a deal and that we would have just as much fun celebrating graduation at home.
My plans changed, however, a few weeks ahead of graduation when I unexpectedly heard from my neighbor, Patrick. While living on the same street we had known each other since childhood but, while still friendly, we had grown apart in high school. Let's just say Patrick "matured" a bit quicker than me.
Patrick was athletic and his six-foot frame comfortable carried a solid 190 pounds. He was on the lacrosse team and spent plenty of the time at the gym. I had to admit it paid off. His broad shoulders gave him the perfect "V look" that all the girls loved. Despite his Irish heritage there was some natural color to his complexion. His complexion matched his dark, wavy hair. He was generally clean cut but quickly got a dark, stubble beard if he did not shave.
On the other hand, I had not developed physically. I was a more modest 5'6" with a pale complexion with smooth skin. I barely needed to shave. I weighed only about 140 pounds. While I was not overweight, I did not have much muscle mass but was more toned than anything. My small stature always made gym class torture for me. I assumed, or maybe hoped, I was a late bloomer.
Patrick and I moved in different social circles in high school. I am somewhat surprised, but excited, when Patrick invites me to stay at his house for Beach Week. He had an Uncle with a place on the beach that he was allowing Patrick to use for the week. With the late timing of the invitation, I could not help but think his parents made him invite me. I was nervous because I was not sure how I would fit in at the house. I was not really friendly with anyone other than Patrick and I doubt Patrick and I would be friendly at all at this point if we did not know each other from our younger days. Despite my concerns, I accept the invitation. It seems too good to pass up.
My parents seem just as excited as me that I was going to Beach Week. In hindsight, I think they felt I needed the experience and it would be good for me to be with a more popular group. Maybe I would gain some confidence.
My mother in particular was gushing over Patrick for inviting me. She is constantly telling me how lucky I was that Patrick included me. She thought Patrick was so mature and such a good friend. I found myself joining her in singing the praises of Patrick almost every day. All of this talk about Patrick was unwittingly making my insecurities stronger. I could not help but think she wished I was more like him.
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The time leading up to Beach Week was exhausting. I had final exams, my 18th birthday, followed by graduation, and then a family party to celebrate. Packing for Beach Week gave me the burst of energy I needed. I am still a bit nervous but also excited to have a beach house without parental supervision for the first time. Dreams of grandeur for the week filled my head as I finish packing Friday night. I go to bed early to get some rest before what I was sure would be a long week. Despite my best efforts, my nervousness about the week kept my mind racing and I do not sleep very well.
Since I am awake anyway, I decide to get on the road early. I know the house will be open because Patrick left earlier in the week to get things ready. As I pull up he in his bathing suit and hosing down the driveway. He does not hear my car with his earbuds in. I see he already has a nicer tan than I can ever get. I cannot help but notice he had more muscles than I remember. While maybe not a six pack, his abs were definitely tight. I also notice he has developed a coating of dark hair on his chest and abs which gives him a look of maturity and authority way beyond me. He definitely exudes the aura of the man of the house as he cleans the driveway. It is hard to believe he is only 38 days older than me.
I am the first to arrive and Patrick looks surprised to see me so early when I get out of my car at the curb. I am relieved when he greets me warmly with his "bro hug". God he is strong I think to myself. I can only imagine what he thinks of me.
Patrick helps me with my bags and gives me a tour of the house which is even better than I expected. The first floor has a large living area with a big screen television. There is an open kitchen with marble tops and latest appliances. Outside in the front there is a wrap-around porch. There is a back deck with a gas grill and plenty of seating.
The guest bedrooms are on the second floor. Patrick shows me my room. It is the smallest one with only one bed. I am in a way happy to have my own space and not have to worry about being in a room with someone I do not know that well. I will have my own place to get away from everyone if I need a break.