It had been gray and drizzling the entire week, the kind of weather that drove Benny up the fucking wall, and by Saturday afternoon he had a severe case of cabin fever and went out running regardless of the rain. At first the run felt rough, his limbs and breathing uncoordinated, but by the time he'd reached the Reservoir loop, he'd smoothed into a fluid rhythm. He started pacing himself off a runner in long tights and a hooded windbreaker about 200 feet ahead of him, figuring that if they both maintained a steady speed, he'd catch up with him half way around the loop.
The man reached up and pushed his hood down, and Benny saw the titian mop and realized it was Matt. He briefly debated slowing down and dropping back, getting off the loop before Matt saw him. In the end he sped up. It had been close to a month since he'd last seen Matt and they hadn't spoken in the interim. Thanksgiving was that coming Thursday, and Benny suddenly wondered how Matt was spending it; Roger and Carrie had left on their deferred honeymoon and wouldn't be back until the first week of December.
"Hey, Matt."
Matt didn't respond, and Benny realized he had on earphones, so he covered the final three steps between them and repeated the greeting, touching Matt lightly on the upper arm. Matt almost stumbled, then regained his stride.
"Hey," he said, with a friendly smile, pulling one of the ear buds out.
"I'm sorry I startled you."
"No problem."
"How've you been?"
"Okay. Busy."
"Yeah, me too."
It wasn't exactly a lie, though there were also too many hours when he'd done nothing but stare blankly at a wall or at the ceiling. He'd never felt lonely before, and it wasn't really loneliness he was feeling now, he didn't think. It was just that after his talk with Roger he'd become aware of certain empty spaces in his life, of moments when he reached out for something he thought was there, only to find that it wasn't.
"Going to your parents for Thanksgiving?"
"No. I'm working Thursday and Friday and I'm on call the rest of the weekend, so I need to stay here. What about you? Any plans?"
"Not really. I'll be around." Benny's parents were now living in Palm Beach, and there were only so many visits he could stand. He especially avoided seeing them on holidays or any other supposedly festive occasion, when the combined weight of his father's disapproval and his mother's worry were at their worst.
They split in order to run on either side of a deeper puddle, then veered back towards each other.
"Would you like to come over for dinner on Thursday?" Benny asked a little diffidently. "If you have time, that is."
"That sounds nice, Benjamin. Thank you. I'm off at five, so I could make it after that, if it's not too late."
"No, that's fine. Turkey okay?"
"Perfect," Matt grinned. "Absolutely perfect."
They ran in companionable silence for a while, dodging puddles and slower runners.
"Are you doing anything this afternoon?" Matt asked suddenly.
"I'm meeting friends for dinner in a couple of hours."
"Oh. Okay."
"Do you want to come along?" Benny invited impulsively. "We're just going down to this place in Chinatown."
"You're sure?"
"Yeah. It's just some old buddies of mine. We'll probably bore you to death, but the food is worth it."
*******************
Benny used to see a lot more of Henry and Jon and Jake and Michael back when he'd also been half of a couple. The six of them had been practically inseparable, dropping by each other's apartments, scheduling vacations and weekend trips together. After Phil's death they'd slowly drifted apart; not only Benny, who had become the proverbial fifth wheel, but the other two couples, as well, as if it had been Phil who'd kept them all together. Which was strange, because Henry, Jon and Michael had been Benny's friends originally; if Henry and Jon hadn't suggested Fire Island that Memorial Day weekend, Benny and Phil would have never met.
Benny hadn't even thought about how the other four might react to his bringing somebody with him for the first time after seven years. Not that they'd expected him to remain single, in fact the first years, and after what they'd considered was a sufficient and respectable period of mourning, they'd done their best to find someone for him. Still, Benny saw how they looked at each other as he made the introductions, how Michael cocked his head, pursed his lips and openly studied Matt, while Henry was motioning for the waiter to bring another chair. He wished he'd come alone, like the previous years. Actually, no, he didn't. He wished he hadn't come here at all, and that Matt and he had gone for pizza.
Matt didn't seem to notice anything amiss or awkward; he sat next to Benny, looking completely at ease, as if he'd been hanging out with the guys for years. Before long he was joking with Jon about the Knicks, and spinning the Lazy Susan every time Henry tried to reach for something on it, though to be fair, Henry had started that game.
"So, how long has this been going on, Benjamin?" Michael murmured leaning against Benny, his lips almost touching Benny's ear.
"There's nothing going on. Matt is Roger's brother-in-law and he just moved here."
"If you say so," Michael said. "He's adorable."
"Puppies and babies are adorable, Michael. Hulking 6'6" forty-year old men, not so much."
"Oh, piffle. Look at that sweet smile. Adorable, I tell you!"
Benny ignored him.
"Why are you glowering?" Matt asked him from his other side, as he leaned over and snatched the last prawn dumpling from right under Benny's chopsticks, so Benny ignored him, too.
"Does anybody feel like going to The Monster?" Jon asked once dinner was finally over and Benny was already mentally on the subway headed uptown. Matt looked intrigued.
"Oh, God, everybody's so old there," Michael moaned.
"As opposed to you, my spring chicken," Jake mocked. "Michael and I are in."
"Benny? Matt?"
Benny opened his mouth to refuse, but Matt beat him to it.
