No Other Life Than This

Birthdays, and in particular his own birthdays, brought out the worst in Benny. He didn't care how wonderful life was, or how lucky he was, and all those clichés about only being as old as one felt just annoyed the hell out of him. Being within spitting distance of fifty was nothing to celebrate.

An early morning blowjob from Matt made him feel marginally better, but when he tried to return the favor, Matt jumped out of bed.

"I'm late as it is. I used to be really punctual, before I met you."

Benny lay on his back on the California-king-sized bed, which had moved from Matt's apartment to his half a year ago, along with the rest of Matt's things, and knit his fingers behind his head.

"I'm just going to lie here and do nothing all day," he announced. "You can take me out to dinner when your shift is over."

Matt hesitated.

"You're not cooking?"

"Hell, no"

"You're not even baking a cake?"

"No, I'm not even baking a cake. For my own birthday? Are you kidding me?"

"Okay," Matt sighed, looking disappointed. "I'll figure something out."

He leaned over to give Benny a quick kiss, picked up his backpack and headed for the door.

"Jackson Hole is not an option," Benny yelled as he heard Matt opening the front door. "Not unless you want to see me in a really shitty mood."

"Why, you have other moods?" Matt yelled back, and then the door slammed shut.

Benny shifted so that he was lying in a bar of sunlight, and closed his eyes, drowsy in the warmth. He wished Matt didn't have to work so many weekends. On rare occasions, he could arrange to shift his own work and cases, so that they could spend Matt's days off together, and he had to settle for that.

He fell asleep for a while and woke up sweating. After a quick shower, he decided he might as well bake a cake, because Matt's disappointment had seemed genuine. Whistling tunelessly between his teeth before he remembered that he wasn't supposed to be in a good mood, he perused his cookbooks and then surfed the internet, looking for a special recipe. He finally opted for a classic Devil's Food cake; he was way too lazy to go out shopping for the ingredients some of the more exotic desserts required.

The small gift box was in the stacked mixing bowls. He grinned when he saw it. A man couldn't have too many cufflinks. He debated waiting for Matt to come home before he opened it, but Matt had obviously wanted him to find the box, or he wouldn't have made a big deal about the cake.

It wasn't cufflinks. Benny stared at the wide platinum ring, then traced the matt finish and polished edges, his heart hammering in his chest. He took it out of the box and slipped it onto the finger of his right hand, then stared at it some more. He took it off and put it back in the box, and tried to concentrate on the cake. After about fifteen minutes, he retrieved the ring and put it back on.

Matt called him at noon.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"What have been up to?"

"Nothing much. Just being lazy. How do things look for you?"

"Okay. It's been quiet so far. I should be able to get out on time, but I'll call you if I'm going to be late."

"Did you make reservations for dinner? I want to go to the kind of place you need to make reservations for."

"Ben, you need to make reservations at the corner greasy spoon on Saturday evening. Yes, I made reservations."

Benny grinned at how annoyed Matt sounded.

"Because I'm just wondering what I should wear."

"What you should wear?" Matt asked in a bewildered voice.

"Uh huh. I'm not really sure what goes with a platinum band."

There was a long silence.

"You asshole," Matt finally sighed.

"I like it. Thank you, Matt."

"It's not a proposal or anything," Matt said warily.

"It's on my right hand," Benny assured him.

"It's the first time I've given anybody a ring."

"Then I feel very special," Benny teased.

"Oh, shut up."

Another long pause.

"I do love you, though," Matt said quietly.

It wasn't the first time Matt had said it, but before it has always been as a response, a 'me, too' or a 'love you, too' and even 'yeah' on a couple of occasions. Even though Benny already knew the depth of Matt's feelings, the unsolicited declaration hit him hard.

"Yeah," he finally managed to choke out, and Matt laughed.

"So if you found the ring, it means you finally decided to bake a cake, right? What kind?"

"Devil's Food."

"Ooh, I like that. Be sure and make extra frosting."

"Why? You want to lick the bowl?"

"I want to lick something alright," Matt purred.

*******************

"This is too messy by far," Benny grumbled. "And I never liked '9 ½ Weeks'. And food belongs in plates and bowls."

"Stop bitching."

Benny glared. "Can't you just suck my dick without the frosting?"

Matt sighed and sat up on his heels. "Fine. Go wash off, Mr. Vanilla. Jeez."

Benny wiped at a chocolate smear on his hip. "Maybe vanilla frosting would have worked better," he mused distractedly. "Or white chocolate. The brown color, it's just too..."

"Oh, ugh. Please stop."

When Benny returned from the shower, Matt was lying on his stomach, chin propped up on one hand, reading. Benny straddled him and sat on his thighs.

"What's that?" he asked. He laid his palms on the small of Matt's back, then applied pressure, and Matt groaned.

"Michelin guide. You've still got a couple of weeks vacation, right?"

"Mmm hmmm." Benny worked his thumbs along Matt's spine, finding small knots of muscle and working on them, relaxing them. "Where are you taking me?" He leaned down and kissed Matt's shoulder.

"I was thinking northern Italy. The lakes, or maybe Tuscany."

"That sounds nice. Lay your head on the pillow," Benny urged and Matt stretched out, giving Benny more to work with.

"Love your backrubs," Matt murmured after a while.

Benny scooted further back to kneel between Matt's calves and spent some time massaging his legs. He worked his way up and down one long leg, then the other. Bending each leg at the knee, he rubbed Matt's feet, flexing his ankles and kneading the arches and the heels.

"Love your leg- and foot-rubs, too."

Benny bent and kissed Matt right at the top of his crack, then held his ass cheeks apart and licked a wet trail over Matt's small pink pucker down to his perineum and back up again.

"I especially love that," Matt moaned, arching his butt up for more attention. Benny licked and nibbled, pulling Matt's hips up, so that he could also reach Matt's balls and cock. Matt complied with alacrity, getting up on his hands and knees and rocking back into Benny's tongue, mouth and hands. "More," he whispered. "Ben, more," and Benny gave him more, fucking the tight ring with his tongue until it loosened, then pressing in both thumbs. He let Matt control the depth and rhythm, until he could tell by the clenching of his muscles and his moans that Matt was about to come.

"No!" Matt protested, when Benny pulled away from him, and he tried to scoot backwards, but Benny blocked him.

"Want you on your back," he said, and Matt seemed to collapse underneath him. Benny rolled him over and folded his long legs against his body, holding him wide open. He looked around for the lube, but the tube was nowhere to be seen. Leaning over Matt, he reached into the nightstand drawer and came up empty.

"Matt, where's the lube?"

Matt just looked up at him with hot eyes, as if he didn't understand the question. Maybe he didn't, because he also curled his hips up a little, trying to make contact with Benny's dick.

"Hold on," Benny said, trying to steady Matt with one hand and feeling around the bed with the other, still looking.

Matt reached for his own shaft and started stroking.

"Forget the lube. I want you inside me when I come."

Even as Benny lined his cock up and slowly pushed in, he knew he should have double-checked with Matt, because there was no way this wasn't going to hurt, even though he'd been rimming him. He spat into his hand and reached down, trying to make things a little wetter.

"Are you okay?" he whispered worriedly, when Matt groaned, and God, he should stop, but it felt so damn good, Matt's heat and tight muscles squeezing him, and he pushed his way farther in, trying to be gentle, but still going deeper instead of pulling out like he should.

"Oh, fuck," Matt gasped. "Yeah, I'm good. It feels different. Don't move too much."

Benny flexed his butt muscles, a small pulse, and Matt hissed in pleasure, so he did it again, and got the same reaction. Matt's hand was stroking faster, and Benny could see he was near again, and he dared a stronger thrust, because he had to move, he just had to.

Matt yelled an obscenity, and then he was coming in thick spurts and rocking his hips into Benny, squeezing Benny's cock inside him, the friction different without lube.

"Matt," Benny cried, his own orgasm erupting, and he fell forward into Matt's arms. Matt wrapped his arms around him and held him tight as they both came down together.

*******************

"If I got you a ring, would you wear it?" Benny asked later, as Matt spooned behind him.

"Sure."

Matt pushed his feet between Benny's and pulled him more firmly against him, adjusting him so that he could lie against him more comfortably. Benny sometimes felt lucky that Matt didn't try to thump him into the right shape, like he did the pillows. He let himself be pushed and pulled like a rag doll until Matt sighed happily, indicating that things were just right.

"What if I asked you to wear it on your left hand?"

"Only if you switch yours over, as well," Matt replied immediately, his voice calm.

"Okay."

Benny lay quietly for a while, thinking.

"You set me up all the way, didn't you? Dickhead."

Matt laughed. "You're so easy," he said, his arms tightening around Benny. "You don't mind, do you?"

"No," Benny sighed, feeling magnanimous. "I don't mind."

After all, he had the rest of his life to figure out how to get back at Matt, and, until then, he was exactly where he wanted to be.