Sorry for the delay. Sometimes it's that last encouraging message from a reader that makes me think, "Ok I'll write another chapter." Thanks for all the private messages of support!
+{Noah's Starship}+
-+-[November]-+-
I'm not exactly sure how big Navid's dick is. Sorry for starting this off with trashy conversation, but I get asked it all the time. He's never been interested in me taking a measuring tape to it and usually has bigger things on his mind when it's at attention anyways. He says it is average for Persian men from his culture, men of power, and that I am average for a white boy. Most times it's bigger than I can handle, but I do my best. He takes it slowly and seems to enjoy my struggle.
But what I think about is the time we came in his room after school and immediately started kissing. He slipped off my clothes before lifting me up and tossing me onto his bed just to show he could. He gets a little primal when we get to it, and it had been a long week.
Navid pushed down his shorts and his cock popped out full and hard. I watched as it bounced a few times, almost in slow motion. He gripped it with one hand and thumped it against his open palm with an audible thud like he was testing a baseball bat.
"See how hard you make me, my Noah?" He asked with that confident leer in his eye, as though there was no doubt I craved him. I nodded hypnotically as a gasp escaped my lips. He came towards me and thumped it against the top of his desk like someone banging on the door, like it was demanding dinner.
I felt it from the bed like a small tremor. I know that's impossible, maybe it was just my body twitching in anticipation. It was an intimidating noise and something I'd never think of attempting with my own cock. I knew then that it was sturdier, made for taking control. It was meant for me, the only cock I'd ever care about seeing, pleasing, satiating... but we've never measured it.
***
"I like song, what it means?" Navid loves singing in the car as he weaves through traffic, but a lot of times he messes up the words to songs. He likes to ask me what I think a song means and then we debate it. He loves to debate just about anything as though he has something to prove with me. This one was Ariana Grande's "One Last Time."
"It's about being so in love with someone that even if they don't love you back, you just wish they would pretend one more time. Like you know it's over, or never was going to happen... but you just want to feel like it is working one more time. Like everything is fine," I offered.
"That is sad. Why you want to be with someone who doesn't love you?" Navid asked as he cruised up Ventura and covered my hand with his over the gear shifter.
"I did that in high school. He wasn't gay at all, but I was so into him that I didn't care and I hung on to any shreds of friendship he offered. He was a good friend, but he just wasn't gay at all," I admitted and Navid squeezed my hand over the gear shifter as he accelerated.
"I can't hear about this, Noah... I am too protective for you. I don't like that someone hurt you. If he did not love you then he is fool. But I am happy that he saves you for me," Navid assured.
"Me too..." I laid my head against his shoulder. It was the first time I'd ever said anything about a guy I had liked other than him. I knew he didn't want to talk about his past people, but it kind of stung just a little that he didn't want to hear about mine.
He had always told me that being with me was like starting over for him. But I was getting frustrated at just how little he really listened to me. I was starting to get the feeling he wanted a robot version of me that just sat quietly when not in use. He always seemed to praise how quiet and simple he thought I was. But honestly it was just intimidating to be with a guy like him who was strong, intelligent, charismatic, worldly. He was everything I had been raised to believe was above me.
"This one sounds romantic. I like the beat. Is sex song?" Navid asked as a dance mix of Years and Years' "Memo" began to play.
"Sort of. It's about a guy the singer was absolutely in love with, would do anything for. The guy wasn't out though. He was ashamed of him... and only slept with him in secret. The singer settled for it though, he was too hooked on the guy." I straightened up and pulled away from his shoulder as I realized the song could have been about us. I was his secret shame.
"Let me take your heart, love you in the dark, no one has to see... I want more," I sang to the chorus in a whisper.
"This no good. I thought was happy sweet song. Why he loves a guy like that? He does not love himself to stand for better." Navid felt my tension. He reached his hand to my thigh and squeezed it softly in that way that brought my cock to attention in seconds no matter what I was feeling.
"Maybe... he's like me... he just can't live without the guy... He'd do anything just for that time in the dark... Even if the rest of our relationship is undercover, it's still not something I can live without," I whispered.
"This's not us, my Noah! How you can think this? It's not like that!" Navid yelled and I felt his body tense in guilt.
"You know for me this is not choice! I love you more than anything. I cannot live without you. My body crave you more than air. I will never leave you in dark. I promise you this. Someday we will be like regular, someday, I promise you! Karim is helping me to figure out way. He has traditional family too, and look how he is now with Mike. We will have that some day. I promise you!" Navid was growing angry and I watched his muscles bulge.
"Karim and Mike seem happy together and so open with each other," I said and squeezed his hand.
"They work through the darkness. They love each other like I love you for always. Karim guide him through dark times with his own family and addiction. You are not in my dark, Noah. You are my only light and I love you more than anyone. I am so sorry you would ever feel this way. I hate it... I hate so much for you feel bad... but I am trying to make better. Karim help talk me through it a lot," Navid defended as he waved his hands and then reached to squeeze my hand again. I let him. I needed it.
"Ok, it's ok, Navee. Don't get upset," I soothed him and kissed his shoulder remembering what he had said about the boy being killed in his country for being found with another guy.
"Please don't give up with me, Noah. I promise I give you love you deserve. I not ashamed never of you." He let out a long breath and relaxed at my touch.
The song played on. The chorus came around again, and again Navid tensed up in guilt.
"This song suck!" he declared. "I erase it from playlist. I don't want you feel sad like this." He stabbed at the controls on his steering wheel to shift to the next song.
