Not so Unrequited Maybe?

I stood in front of the hallway mirror, staring this way and that critically. I had tried gelling my unruly brown curls but had looked like a doll dragged angrily through a forest so I'd washed it out. I hated how curly my hair was. It made me look younger than my 20 years. It did not help that I was a lean 5'11 man, I looked like a boy. I pushed these thoughts out of my head defiantly. Boy or no boy, Josh seemed to fancy me and that was all that mattered.

'I think I hear footsteps,' Andrea called out from the living room and I sighed to myself. I had begged her to not be home in the flat we shared when Josh came but the cheeky sod had grinned gleefully at me, promising to be by my side with bells on. I shook my head even though, deep down I was happy she was here. My shyness was embarrassing!

I heard a firm knock on the front door and jumped a little, startled. I looked once more at myself as I heard Andrea's quickened steps to the door and nodded firmly. In a soft grey tee and blue jeans, I did not look half-bad. I grabbed my scarf, gloves and coat from its hook. It was early February and bitterly cold. I could hear Andrea's high chatter mixed with Josh's deep baritone and I felt my heart skip a beat. I was totally in lust with him.

'Hey,' I said, glad that my voice did not betray my nerves. I squeezed my suddenly clammy palms around my scarf, hoping Josh would not shake my hands. I doubted my palms would stop feeling sweaty.

Josh looked at me, dragging his gaze from the tip of my curls to my trainers-clad feet and I felt my toes curl in them. When his eyes returned to my face, they were gleaming. 'Hey yourself.' He replied softly. 'You look really good. Ready to go?'

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. His look was scorching. I waved at Andrea, wore my jacket and wrapped my scarf round my neck before wearing my gloves. Josh stood aside so that I could squeeze past him, feeling the tight muscles of his body that his leather jacket could not quite conceal. I held my breath as I pushed past him sideways then waited till he closed the door and came to meet me.

'Uhm, thanks for the compliment by the way.' I said as we walked down my corner to the bustling Whiteladies Road. 'You don't look half-bad yourself.' I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes as I said this. I saw the amused look on his face and quickly looked straight ahead, my face turning red.

'Are you nervous, Ash?'

Ash. No one called me Ash. I liked the way it sounded on his lips. He cleared his throat and I remembered his question and quickly answered, 'No, no. I mean...yeah, I am. Kind of. It's just so sudden, isn't it? 2 years and a bit without any communication whatsoever between us and now we've had a snog and are going out on a date. It's like a movie only, this is reality.' I took a deep breath after blurting all this out.

There was silence and I turned to see Josh with his hands in his pockets as he walked, seemingly deep in thoughts. We walked for about a minute in silence then I heard him say in his deep, husky voice. 'Yeah, I get what you mean. I think it's a bit crazy myself but at the end of the day, we've liked each other for so long but were idiots not to realise or do anything about it. And now uni is coming to an end soon and...I just don't see any point us beating around the bush. I want to get to know you better. It sounds fucking cliché, I know but there we are. And I know how busy you are with studying and I'm crazy busy myself with Rugby and exam prep so... I just don't wanna dawdle, you understand?'

I nodded. Yes, I did. I thought about kissing Andrea again. I wanted to pinch myself. I was with Josh on a date and he fancied me! He claimed to have done so for so long! What a fucking weird dream.

'So, uhm. Where are we going?' I asked as we walked down the road towards Queens Road.

'I was thinking maybe a few drinks at Browns? We can sit out at the terrace cuz I know you smoke. Is that fine?' He asked somewhat nervously, shooting a glance at me.

'Yeah, sure. Absolutely!' I nodded. Well then, if there was any proof I needed that he had been studying me, there it was. He even knew I smoked. At this point, I decided to relax and just enjoy whatever the night was going to bring.

***

'Please don't tell me you're a lightweight.' Josh mock-groaned as I tried unsuccessfully to stifle a giggle. We were on our third drinks, a gin and tonic for him and a vodka tonic for me. I normally had beer but when he ordered his G&T, I decided to eschew my favourite alcoholic beverage, all in a bid to seem more mature. And now, I was tipsy.

'Well, to be honest I never thought I was.' I said as steadily as I could, which wasn't really steady at all.

He shook his head and just stared at me over the rim of his glass, his eyes piercing as fuck. The night had gone pretty well considering how nervous I was at first. Josh was surprisingly witty and quite clever, putting an end to the stereotypes of rugby players being meatheads. He was studying History and Spanish and was going to be spending half of his fourth and final year in Spain. I found it fascinating that he was doing this and had asked how he was going to work around his rugby commitments. He told me that the university had worked something out with the rugby team in the Spanish university he was going to, plus he was going to pop back as often as possible to play. He intended to play professionally and I respected his tenacity. I tried to downplay the fact that I was studying Law but he heaped praise after praise on my 'brilliance' causing me to constantly flush red from blushing; of course, the booze and the cold didn't help.

As he kept on staring, I bit my lip and fumbled with my Marlboro Menthols, ignoring his hooded gaze now trained on my lips. 'Stop biting, babe.' He husked at me.

I gulped. Babe. I nearly dropped my cigarette and he stretched to take it and the lighter from my hand, an amused smile playing around his lips. I could not take my eyes from him as he nudged my lips open with the cigarette then cupped his hand to light it for me. I inhaled shakily, the nicotine slowly calming my rattling nerves.

'I can't wait to walk you to your door and kiss you. You've got the softest lips, do you know?' He said in a very steady, normal tone not realising the havoc it was wreaking in me.

'Oh.' Was all I could breathe.

'So. Very. Soft. It was difficult to stop kissing you in the common room. I wanted to lay you down and do really bad things to your body but...' he stopped and raked a hand through his shiny blond hair. 'Fuck, I need to stop thinking about your lips or I'll have a massive hard-on here and we might get kicked out.'

I laughed at this and he joined me after a second.

'When did you come out to your family?' I asked out of the blue.

He looked at me shocked then his face settled as he relaxed into his chair. He sipped from his drink then looked down at it before he began speaking, 'Just before uni. Actually, it was immediately after A-levels. They weren't happy, to say the least. I took a gap year round South America afterwards, hoping it would calm them down and...let's just say they've come to terms with it only by pretending it's a phase. I mean, my mum's fine now but my dad is very reluctant to admit that his 'heir' is a pouf.'

'Oh.' I mumbled. I didn't know what to say so I could only smoke and stare at the middle of his head as he looked down. He suddenly looked up, a forced smile on his face. 'Not like it matters. I've got access to my trust fund anyway so if Father decides to go a bit mental later, I don't really care. My coach knows, my team knows and so do my friends. And they're fine with it. And that's all that matters.'

'No siblings?' I asked quietly.

'I'm the only child.' Was his terse reply.

'Uhm...okay.' I quickly began gabbing to fill the uncomfortable silence. 'Well, I'm the last kid of four. The baby of the house, really. And I think they've all known I was gay. My sisters and my parents. I think they figured it out before I did, actually, and they've been nothing but supportive.'

'Aren't you the lucky one.' He dryly said, making me flinch a bit. 'Fuck, forgive me.' He groaned.

The mood was quickly turning sour. I gulped my drink down and shut my eyes against the sudden spin in my head. When I opened them, he was staring at me intensely.

'I've had great fun tonight and I don't want to ruin it. Please forgive me.' He begged softly. I nodded and smiled at him.

'Do you want another drink or have I completely and utterly cocked everything up?' He asked, his eyes pleading.

I suddenly smiled fully at him making him gasp. 'I think I'd better have some water then we can leave. And no, the night's perfect.'

A half hour later, Josh paid our bill ignoring my protest and we walked down the stairs to flag a cab. Well, he flagged a cab. I was fine to walk back. During the ride home, he held my hand, tracing his fingers almost absently round and round my palm as he stared out the window. It was a silent ride but it was quite comfortable as we sat lost in our respective thoughts. When we got to my flat, he told the cabbie to wait and walked me down the little pathway to my door. I turned to thank him for the drinks and the cab ride and as I opened my mouth, he bent from his 6'3 height and placed his lips softly on mine before moving back. I looked at him in lustful wonder, my eyes wide as I took in the sudden flush to his cheeks.

'Sod it.' He muttered then swooped down to kiss me properly. His hands cupped my face as I was pressed against the door. His lips shaped and moulded mine as he kissed my lower then upper lip, nipped at my lower lip before soothing with his tongue. I parted my lips and his tongue pushed through to duel with mine. He licked and sucked my tongue into his mouth before releasing then stroking softly. Hard. Deep. Thrusting into my mouth like he was fucking me. His whole body was plastered against mine and I could feel his hard cock against my belly. I didn't realise when I mewled and curled a leg against one of his to pull him into me further.

'Fuck,' he gasped as he pulled away from me. We had just heard the cabbie honking his horn impatiently. 'You need to go inside, Ash. I need to leave. I want to do this properly. I want to take you out again then on our third date, fuck you till you can't walk for days. I want to court you, baby. Go inside, don't make it difficult for me.' He whispered, his breath fanning my forehead.

Okay, I nodded. I cleared my throat and licked my swollen lips watching him growl at the action. 'Yeah, uhm. Thanks. Again. Message. When you get home, that is.' I stuttered then fumbled with the key and rushed in slamming the door. I heard silence for a second. Two. Then his footsteps as he walked away.

I practically staggered to my bedroom, my head filled with the kisses I'd just received. I was going to wank so fucking hard when I got on my bed. As I shrugged off my coat, I felt my phone vibrate.

'Movie. Next Friday. Sleep well, babe.'

I sighed then smiled softly. Josh the romantic. Who woulda thunk it!?