Now Starring

When I followed David to his parent's house I just wanted to talk to him. I stood on the front porch; hand poised ready to ring the doorbell but couldn't bring myself to push the button. After ten minutes of standing there like an idiot I walked across the street and sat on the curb.

What was there about him that made him so addictive? Yes, he was incredibly good looking, intelligent, funny, and kind and a challenging lover. But so were countless other men I had relationships with in the past.

There was something about David, maybe it was those dark eyes of his, those eyes that seemed to see into the most hidden reaches of my soul and bring the parts of me into the light that even I denied?

I knew it was a mistake to come to Scotland, he had asked me to give him space. But when I saw the pictures in that rag, shown to me by Phil, I couldn't think straight. I should have waited a few days, enough to calm down, before I confronted him but seeing those pictures ripped a hole in my heart that could only be repaired by seeing David again.

I pulled my coat closer to me as a cold breeze blew down the street, and looked back at the house. The lights went out downstairs and two sets of lights came on upstairs. I could see David's silhouette in the window facing the street as he entered his room.

My mind replayed the scene in the coffee shop. I had seen David and Elissa walking across the street, hand in hand and my heart sank. I could see the smile on her face as he bent to her height to talk to her and I watched them through the window as they talked. It wasn't until he held her in his arms, those arms that should have been wrapped around me, that I moved to confront them.

I closed my eyes, the lump in my chest growing tighter, as I recalled their kiss. The first one, the one initiated by David, didn't really set me off, for some reason. Maybe it was because he didn't linger and it was quick and seemingly passionless. But when Elissa thrust her tongue into his mouth, and he made no move to stop her, my vision went red and I had to stop them. By the time I was aware again, David was slumped against the wall and Elissa looked like she was about to scream.

Luckily the shopkeeper was easily bought off, a tenner to be quiet, and we got David back to my hotel room, passing him off as a drunk to the taxi driver.

I looked up at the house again and saw another light go on, shining like a beacon from a small window next to David's room. I felt for my mobile, and considered calling him and asking him to meet me at a pub down the street. I held the phone for a few minutes then put it back in my pocket.

I rose with the idea of leaving, but instead walked back to the house. I put a steadying hand on the doorknob, taking a deep breath and raised my hand to knock, as I did so the knob turned in my grasp, and the door opened!

Before I knew it I was climbing the stairs and heading towards David's room. I could see a crack of light shining under the door and the sounds of a television show, turned up quite loudly, from down the hall. I opened the bedroom door quietly, and did a quick survey of my surroundings. I could see into a small bathroom and from the reflection in the mirror caught the image of David lying in the tub; his long legs bent double, head thrown back, eyes closed, and his arms dangling over the edge.

In the harsh light I could see the faint scars on his wrists. The sight made my heart leap up into my throat. I couldn't imagine never having met him, any more than I could imagine my life without him.

I turned off the bedroom light and sat down on the bed, just watching him from the dark. I was trying to form a lucid argument as to why he should forgive me and take me back when he rose out of the steaming water. The warmth of the water had given his skin a glowing a soft hue making him look warm and inviting as he towelled off.

David picked up his robe but didn't put it on immediately, instead he leaned in towards the mirror, and ran his hand over his jaw, lightly touching the bruise on his face from when I had lost my temper with him earlier.

Then he disappeared from my sight for a few minutes, and then reappeared to set his contact lens case on the rim of the sink.

I heard the snap of the light switch being turned off and was cast into almost complete darkness, just the light from the hallway shining under the bedroom door.

He passed so close to me in his quest to find the light switch that I was afraid he was going to trip over my feet, so I put out a hand to stop him. As my hand touched him, his breath caught in his throat, and I could feel his body go rigid with alarm.

That gasp brought back the memory of the first time we had made love, coupled with the touch of his warm skin made all my noble intentions fly out the window. I took advantage of his immobility and quickly untied the belt of his robe and ran my hands down his body. As I reached his back he shuddered slightly and he tried to turn away. I pulled him back to me and walked us to the bed.

As he came to the bed, he sat down with a grunt of surprise, and began to try to stand up but I held him down. When David called my name I knew that now was not the time for words and before I could stop myself and before he could stop me, I tore his robe off of him and drove myself into him.

When the tip of my cock pushed inside him he arched his back and put his hands on my chest trying to push me off. I had never entered him unlubed and I don't think he was prepared for that. He cried out as I moved further into him so I covered his mouth with one hand and held him fast by the hair with the other as I pumped myself into him.

After a bit, I felt him relax in my embrace but didn't want to let him get too comfortable. I lifted him up off the bed and slammed him up against the wall. Soon I was driving myself into him harder with each thrust, knocking the breath from him, violently taking him, staking my claim.

It wasn't until I felt the release of my orgasm that I slowed down my thrusts and savoured the sensations, the warmth of him surrounding me, his hot breath on my neck, his long arms and legs wrapped around me, seemingly holding on for dear life. As I pulled out and let him go, he started to move away from the wall, obviously thinking this was the end of it, but I finished him off in my mouth first.

I could hear David take a deep breath and move towards the light switch again, but I didn't want him to see my face. I had hoped to be able to talk to him but I knew couldn't handle looking into those dark, soulful, gentle eyes without breaking into tears. I almost tripped over his robe as I zipped up and started to leave, I picked it up and threw it at him. The darkness seemed to make all my senses extra acute. I could hear the sounds of the terry cloth on his skin as he put the robe on and took that time to slip back out of the room before he could stop me.

I ran out of the house, not stopping until I had reached the street opposite the house. Just as I did so I could see the light come back on in David's room and could just make out him standing at the window watching me as I stood there watching him.

After a while the light went out. I could picture David in bed, asleep, softly breathing and I wanted to hold him in my arms until morning. Instead I sat down on a garden wall opposite until the cold got to me and then I went back to my hotel.

I got no sleep that night, playing over and over the scene in the coffee shop in my mind. A bit after 8am, just when I thought the sound of my own blinking was going to send me mad, my mobile rang.

"Please tell me that was you last night," David begged.

"I should leave you guessing, but yes that was me." I admitted.

"Breaking and entering is a new trick for you. That sort of borders on stalking don't you think?"

"The door was unlocked," I replied, "and besides you didn't seem to mind too much at the time."

"You've got me there," David let out a short laugh, "are you still in town?"

"Yes."

"Can you meet me for breakfast? I think we need to talk."

I didn't exactly like the sound of those words but the idea of seeing him again, made the idea vastly appealing, "I'd like that."

We agreed to meet in an hour, David giving me directions to the café and I was just ready to head out the door of my room when I heard a knock. I opened the door and Elissa pushed her way into my room.

"This isn't a good time..." I started.

"Too bad. I am going to say what I want to say and then you can go off to wherever you were in such a rush to go to." She got within a breath of me, and poked her finger into my chest, "I don't know what sort of relationship you have with David, but your treatment of him is appalling! I want you to leave him alone."

"I agree, and in fact I'm on my way to apologise and make amends," The vehemence of her words surprised me, it took me a few seconds to recover, "but as for leaving him alone, no."

Elissa stepped back as I opened the door, "I really like him John, and I think I'd be better for him that you are. And I'm going to pursue a relationship with him."

"Be that as it may, for now he's mine and if I want to keep him, I'd better not be late for our date," I stepped into the hall, taking her arm and leading her out too, "nice talking to you again!" I called out as I went down the stairs and out the door.

Elissa's unexpected visit made me run a few minutes behind, so when I got to the café David was already there. He had skipped shaving that morning and the stubble went a long way to covering the bruise. He had a far away look in his eyes that made my heart stop for a moment and he didn't see me until I took the seat opposite him.

He gave me a quick assessing glance and took a sip of his coffee before speaking, "you look like shit."

"Thanks," I took off my coat, "you sure know how to sweet talk a guy, don't you?"

He gave me a wry grin. He started to say something else but the waitress appeared to take our orders, David stayed with coffee and I ordered tea and toast.

I glanced out the window, the sun was trying to break through the early morning haze, "it's really beautiful, you're so lucky to have grown up here."

He looked out the window with a puzzled look on his face then back at me, "I guess. I don't really think I've paid that much attention to it."

The waitress returned with my order and to top off David's coffee, as she walked away David leaned in, "I was hoping to use this time away to clear up some confusion and perspective on our relationship..."

"Is it working?"

"No, I'm not sure if it's because you won't leave me the hell alone, or the complications with Elissa or it's my family..." He paused running his hands through his hair, and took a deep breath, "but I'm more conflicted and confused than I was before."

As he took another drink from his cup of coffee, his sleeves rode up and the long scars I had seen on his wrists the night before were exposed. After he set his cup down I took his hand in mine and ran my fingers along them, "what made you do this?" I asked softly.

He looked down at his wrists and then back up at me, his voice completely flat, "After a particularly savage beating by my dad, it seemed like the best option."

I let go of his hands and he pulled his sleeves back down, "have you considered that option since?"

David looked out the window again, "I don't want to talk about that. What I would really like is for you to please respect my wishes and go back to London."

"I'm supposed to just leave you here, so you can fuck Elissa guilt free?" I kept my voice even, despite the pounding of my heart.

He turned back to me, "that's not in my immediate game plan. I do like her a lot and there may be something there in the future, but I already am dealing with someone who I rushed into bed with and I would like to think I learn from my mistakes."

"I'm a mistake?"

"Stop twisting my words!" he almost shouted before glancing around the café to see if anyone was eavesdropping, "you are not a mistake, but I think WE are."

"Does that mean you're ending it?"

He drained the last of his coffee and slid out of the booth, "what it means is if you don't go and don't give me the space I need, and if I'm pressed to decide now. Yes."

"If I do go? Then what?"

"No idea," He reached into his pocket and put some money on the table, "but I promise as soon as I know I will tell you."

I stood up too, "will you at least come back to my hotel with me while I pack?"

He grinned at me, "subtle, John."

I laughed, "I know."

At the hotel David seemed anxious, a bit like he was afraid to be alone with me, and given his last visit here, I couldn't really blame him. He paced around the room, looked out the window, fussed with the curtains and finally sat down on the chair watching me while I finished getting my things together, "did you really just ask me here to watch you pack?"

I smiled, but didn't answer him; instead I folded my pyjamas and added them to my case. I stole a glance at him, he had turned in the chair so he was sitting crosswise on it, his long legs draped over one arm and his back against the other, his head was tilted back and he was just staring up at the ceiling. The angle of this position exposed his long neck to me, and I was struck by the irresistible urge to kiss it.

I stopped what I was doing, and walked over to where David was sitting. I thought I had made enough noise but when I bent down, and my lips touched him he sat upright, almost knocking me over. I gently pushed him back to his former position, laced my fingers into his hair, tilting his head back and kissed him on the neck again, this time taking a bit of the soft flesh in my teeth.

"Should I have worn garlic?" he laughed.

"That depends," I got on my knees next to the chair, "are you trying to stop me?"

Before he could answer I nibbled my way down to where his neck and shoulder met and started to unbutton his shirt. He stopped me, taking my hands in his, and pushed me away, "I think I should go."

"I have this room until 3pm, there's a large bed in the other room," I sat back on my heels, "and we won't see each other for five weeks. Don't you want something to remember me by?"

David got to his feet looked at me, then the door, then into the bedroom area of the room, clearly weighing his options. I got up and moved in behind him, pulling him tightly to me, and resumed kissing his neck.

"You're not making this easy," he groaned but made no move to stop me.

"I don't want to make this easy. I want you to stay with me." I moved my hands lower and reached around to cup him, I could feel him harden in my hands, "and I can tell you want this just as much as I do."

He twisted out of my grasp, and took a few steps away from me. From the wild look in his eyes I thought he was going to bolt. After a few minutes of him just standing there, not moving, he took a deep breath, "you don't play fair."

"All is fair in love and war," I replied.

"And which is this?" he countered.

"Love, of course," I took his hand and led him into the bedroom.

Once there David sat on the edge of the bed, his hands folded in his lap, "before things go too far, this doesn't change my mind, I still want you to leave."

I sat next to him, "you keep saying that, but yet here you are with me, now."

"I can change that if it would make you understand me better."

"I don't think I'll ever really understand you, David," I laughed, "but maybe that's part of the attraction. You're a big puzzle wrapped in an attractive package."

"I'm an attractive package?"

"Hmmm...a very attractive package!" I cupped him again, and gave him a squeeze.

He playfully slapped my hands away, "that's not what I meant."

"I know," I straddled him, and laying him back on the bed, rubbed myself against him, "but it is a very attractive package nonetheless."

I got his shirt unbuttoned, and took mine off as well, then when I reached for his belt he sat up, wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off of him and got to his feet. I thought he was going to change his mind again, but in a swift movement, jumped on the bed and then lowered his body on top of mine.

He raised himself up on his arms and beamed down at me, "I think this time I will give you something to remember me by."

Before I could say anything else he kissed me, parting my lips with his tongue. His long fingers quickly unzipped my fly freeing me, and then fully taking me into his grasp he stroked me in the same rhythm as his tongue played across mine. I could feel the first tickle of an orgasm building as he tightly gripped me and his other hand toyed with my nipples. I sat up, disengaging him, not quite wanting to climax just yet.

"What was it you said to me that first time? Oh yes, 'relax and let me do it all' I think it was."

David sat back on his knees and a smirk played on his face, "quit being such a control freak."

I couldn't help but laugh at his words, he was right of course. I let him undress me, and was rewarded with warm kisses to each new bit of flesh that was exposed as he removed my clothes. When he had removed his, he stopped and looked around the room, frowning.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I wasn't really prepared for this when I went out today, I don't have a condom or lube or anything on me."

I hadn't packed anything either and the idea of taking his size into me with no lube made me wince a bit, but before the mood could be broken I took him into my mouth, and hoped my spit would be enough to ease the passage. Once he was hard again, I laid back and closed my eyes preparing myself for what would come next.

David put two of his fingers in his mouth, wetting them generously and inserted them into my ass before attempting to enter me. As the tip of his cock pressed into me, I spread my knees wide and locked my legs around his hips. He gently, but firmly, moved in further until he had completely impaled me on his length. I gritted my teeth as he pulled out, seemingly taking half my entrails with him. He paused and spat on his hand again, wetting his shaft before thrusting back in.

Soon the pleasure of his cock moving in me over won the pain and I pulled him down to me so I could lock my mouth on his as he thrust in and out of me slowly. His slow and steady rhythm started to make me mad, I didn't want to be made love to, I wanted to be fucked. I tightened my legs around his waist and raised myself up on my hands, flipping him over on his back and keeping us locked together.

Then I flattened my hands on either side of his head, closed my eyes and raised myself up and slammed myself down on him. As I dropped down I seemed to knock the breath from him but I didn't care, I kept up this rhythm until I came, my seed hitting him on the chest. After I caught my breath, I bent to lick my mess off of his chest. Then I laid back, and let him take over again, until he finally went rigid and came into me.

"That was certainly memorable," he shook his head slowly.

"Sorry, I got a bit carried away."

"I noticed," he stretched out and I cuddled up against him.

"Do you still want me to leave?" I ventured after a while.

"It's not that I want you to, I need you to." He turned to look me in the eye, "I told you this wouldn't change my mind."

With that he rose off the bed, and gathered his clothing and went into the bathroom. I heard the taps going and then he emerged fully clothed and sat back down next to me. He leaned down, cupped my face in his hands and kissed me on the forehead, "if you love me as much as you say you do, you will do this for me, please give me this time."

I watched him leave the bedroom and heard the door to the hotel room shut. The sweat from our love making barely dry on the sheets and here I was alone again. I laid there a while hoping he would come back, but as the clock edged to check out time, I had to admit he wasn't.