Here's the final part + the epilogue. It turned out much more romantic than I had originally intended, which is out of my comfort zone, but I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. Enjoy, or if you hate it, send me hate mail!
Part Four
The night air is still warm from the leftover heat of the sun. The crickets chirp around us as we doze, not quite sleeping, but not really awake. It felt like a dream. Like some kind of miraculous phenomenon as we lay under the stars, their dazzling light dimmed by the canopy of tree branches. Our skin still hums with the remnants of our pleasure, our energy almost sizzling where we touch.
Oslo's fingers are unhurried now, the tips gently swirling over my exposed skin in made up patterns. His eyes lazily follow his movements, never looking bored where they travel. I can understand his amazement. My eyes can't seem to get enough of him, either. It was like after all these years, our bodies were trying to make up for the time lost. For all those times we couldn't see, couldn't touch, and couldn't taste. Finally, it all was ours for the taking, at last.
"Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?" Oslo's question stirs me from the inner thoughts, his voice raspy from our lovemaking. "I've always loved your freckles. They look like little sprinkles of cinnamon." His intense gaze moves from where they were watching his dancing fingertips and to my face, drinking in my reaction. Despite all that we have been through, I still flush in embarrassment at his words. He thought I was beautiful? I have to work to hide my smile.
"There's a lot of things you haven't told me," I respond sarcastically, quirking my brow at him with a smirk. I wasn't unaware that we had a lot to talk about still. It was just that none of it seemed quite as important now. There was no more hurry. We had ended up where we needed to be, regardless of what turmoil lied before it.
"Yes, and I remember trying to tell you a lot of things, but
someone
wasn't interested in talking." Oslo's smile is devilish as he playfully nips my shoulder, making me laugh. It was true. I hadn't been in the mood for talking earlier. But for now our hungry monsters have been satiated, relinquishing their control to our starved minds. It was time to indulge our curiosities.
"Can you blame me? You show up after years of hoping, looking like some kind of handsome devil, and suddenly act interested in me? Nope, I wasn't passing up the chance," I return with a small laugh. I had meant it as a joke, but Oslo's face saddens at my words. There was truth to it, obviously, but I hadn't said it to hurt him. Frowning, I stroke his serious face apologetically, his pain my own.
"You think I wasn't interested in you before?" His voice is incredulous, his brow furrowing in disbelief. Feeling put on the spot, my hand stills its caressing. Hadn't he been the one to run away?
"Well, I mean, interested in me as a friend, right?" I say unsure, trying to find the words to describe what it had been like all those years ago. It had always felt like I had been the one swooning after him, with him reliably failing to notice, always seemingly unaffected by it. It had been my reality, though a painful one.
"By the Gods, Benji, no." He groans in exasperation, closing his eyes as he turns away from me. Lying flat on his back, his eyes open to stare up at the night sky. Swallowing thickly, he glances at me briefly before looking back up. The short eye contact was enough to give me a glimpse of his own demons from our shared past. The darkness of them is familiar, the pain achingly recognizable. He sighs. "I was madly in love with you. Still am. I have been since we were small. I had no idea that you might have felt the same until that evening in the hall." His voice is quiet in his admission, sounding every bit the scared boy he had been. That we both have been.
My heart throbs wildly at his words, my shock more than apparent. All this time, I had no idea. His eyes avoid me, those mesmerizing orbs darting away from me like a caged animal, fearful and timid. I have never seen him so vulnerable, so raw. I doubted anyone had, which makes this moment all the more special. Oslo had given me his body during our mating, but now he was giving me the part of himself he had always kept hidden so well. My chest constricts painfully at the task, a painful promise to always be there and kind to him. My mate. My world. The need to protect him while in this state is foreign yet powerful. He was mine now. Mine to protect. Mine to love. Mine. I had known it when we were young, but now it was finally clear.
It had been excruciating, tormenting myself, trying to figure out what Oslo was thinking or feeling. Always thinking that I had read too far into things, and the shame that had plagued me for thinking that way was wearing. The relief is nearly overwhelming, my feelings for him insurmountable. The man I had loved for so long, loved me in return. I was his. His to protect. His to love. How had it taken so long for us to get here?
"Then why did you leave?" My voice is a whisper, one filled with the ache of the knowledge that things could have been so different. Less painful, less lonely, and less goddamn awful.
"Because it was the only way to keep you safe." His answer is gentle as he leans back towards me, his seriousness only drawing more questions from me.
"Safe from what? The pack?" I question softly, not dull to the fact that same sex matings were strongly restricted amongst wolf packs. But it had been so long ago, what if things were changing?
"Safe from the pack, yes, but also safe from me." I blink in confusion, despite his serious tone. "The pack would never have allowed it. And besides, you were so innocent, and too young. I wanted you to have a choice. If I had stuck around, I don't know if I would have been able to control myself, to let you take things at your own pace." His breath shudders, still hot against my skin. "The night I kissed you, I had lost control. I felt like I had taken advantage of you. It was awful, knowing that I held the power to hurt you. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if that happened."
Oslo looked so broken in this moment, so raw. His pain was my own, my own sadness and grief unrelenting at the pressure he put on himself, at the situation he was in. Framing his striking face with my hands, I wanted him to know how important what I said next was.
"Oslo, my Oslo. You could never hurt me. You think you were alone in your fears, but you weren't. I was terrified that if you found out how I felt about you, that you would hate me. Or worse, want me dead." I shiver at the thought, brushing my nose with his in my search for comfort. I pause, gulping slowly before continuing. "I thought you left because you couldn't stand the sight of me after what I had done. I felt like a freak..." My voice dies off as I close my eyes, remembering the numbness that had taken over me at Oslo's abandonment. It was so long ago, yet it was still so close.
"Oh Benj," Oslo breathes sharply, his arms wrapping around my body like a safety blanket, cocooning me within his protection. "You are not to blame. The only thing I couldn't stand was what could have happened to you if I had stayed." His fingers gently rub along my spine, doing their best to soothe my sorrow.
"We could have tried to appeal to the Alpha. I mean, surely he would be able to recognize a mating pull, even if it were between two boys." I was aware that I was nearly blubbering, but only distantly. It wasn't fair. Why did we have to suffer for a bond that we had no control over?
"No." Oslo's voice is firm and intense, making me flinch at the sudden change. Feeling me jump, his hand comes up to stroke my jaw, easing my tension. "No," he begins, softer this time. "It would have been a death wish." My mate's soothing touch does nothing to alleviate the surprise and confusion of his last statement. Before I can vocalize my shock, Oslo is quick to continue. "My mother had told me what had happened to the two men that had tried creating a mating bond years ago, when we were just little pups." Oslo's gaze meets mine, the intensity burning there making me swallow nervously. "Benj, the Alpha had them killed. Not exiled, not reprimanded, but killed." My heart thuds loudly as the iciness of understanding floods me. We had been in danger, without even realizing it. Hell, we probably still were. "She had told me as a warning. She did not want our fate to be the same."
"She knew?" I ask, shaken. Oslo's mother had always been a nurturing mentor to me, even after Oslo's departure. She had always made me feel like I had belonged in her family, never looking down upon my decisions (or lack thereof) like my own mother often did.
"Of course she did. I told her everything," Oslo says simply, his eyes softening at the mention of his mother. When Oslo had left, I wasn't the only one that he had left behind. He had also left behind his parents and his three siblings. I often had imagined how they had bared with his absence, and how Oslo had dealt assimilating into a pack with no one beside him and nothing familiar. It was something that I longed to ask him about, but for now, we had to take this one stride at a time.
"You told her!" I sit up in my astonishment, my mouth nearly gaping at my mate's casual tone. He means that he had told her
