Author's note: I don't usually write in this genre, so I'm not sure if this is a familiar storyline or not. In any case. I hope you enjoy.
"I guess here is good a place as any." Andy stood at the end of the short pier at the lake.
"You gonna say a few words when you pour out the ashes?"
"Let me think a minute for something appropriate." Andy continued after a pause. "Good-bye, Stan, you old fart. We're going to miss you some and the beer you usually brought a lot more." The ashes in the urn were flung into the water.
"Here. Here." Conrad chuckled.
"Well, there's just the two of us left now. I thought for sure that one of us would go before Stan."
"I think it was too much Viagra that did him in. He just couldn't keep up with that young woman he was fucking."
"Conrad, that young woman, as you put it, is a grandmother."
"Andy, we're both great-grandfathers. Grandmothers ARE young to us."
"As the kids say these days, 'Tru Dat.' You know, I admire Stan going out the way he did. He was getting ridden cowboy, right?"
"I heard it was 'reverse cowboy.'"
"What's that?"
"I think that's where the woman is on top but her back is to the man's face."
"Shit, I'm lucky to get off with my hand these days."
"I know what you mean."
"It's nice out here on the pier. What say we grab a couple of chairs, the beer cooler, and a good cigar and just sit and talk shit about the rotten old days?"
"Sounds good to me." It took about 15 minutes to return to the end of the pier. They were treated to a nice sunset.
Andy and Conrad went through a couple of drinks and a cigar apiece while they told several old stories from past fishing trips with the original group of men they fished with. They were not used to the strength of either the alcohol or the cigar. An old familiar buzz hit them both. That made it easier to talk about a familiar topic: Sex. They talked about how many times they got blue balls before their girlfriends that became wives gave in and had sex. Andy told of how he and his wife-to-be got caught by her parents out in the car in the driveway. They lied about being engaged and then had to make it the truth. Conrad told of being caught by the police at a favorite make out spot. Conrad got his dick caught in his zipper trying to get his pants on too quickly. It took two weeks to heal and hurt every time he started to get an erection. They talked about how the frequency of sex diminished as they got older. The more they drank, they became willing to talk about the naughtier side of their sex lives.
Andy asked, "What's the wildest sex you ever had, Conrad?"
There's not too many times that come to mind. "I'd have to say it was that hippie girl at UK. I thought I had told you that story before."
"I must have not listened well or it's my Alzheimer's kicking in. Go ahead and tell it again."
"Well, it was the summer of 1969. During the Spring there had been a student demonstration because four students got busted for some academic violation. They weren't well known students, and they really didn't try to make that much fuss about it. There were a group of students, however, that were ready to demonstrate about anything, probably because most of the other colleges had done so. Anyway, I didn't think it really mattered to them why they were demonstrating. They took over the Student Union Building after they painted the cannon in front of the Administration Building red. Then they turned the cannon around so that it pointed at the Admin Building. Someone put a M-80 firecracker in the barrel. I took a picture that makes it look like the cannon had been fired at the building. It was the cover for the next year's student phone directory.
"Although there was no violence, the Spring semester ended with many classes cancelling finals. It was the summer before the four students would go in front of the judicial board to vote on their appeal of their suspension. I was one of the students on the judicial board. I guess I was considered a conservative then, but I really didn't care about the politics of the matter. There were a few student demonstrators left on campus, however, that did care. One of them was a girl who never wore a bra, had real short hair, and was always in bell bottoms. She was cute in the face, but the main attraction was her big boobs and enormous ass. Evidently, she thought she could sway my vote by fucking me. She didn't sway my vote but she sure as hell rocked my boat. Damn, we tried every position that could be tried. In the day when oral sex was still rare, she sucked me and let me fuck her ass. When we 69'd, it was a perfect fit. She was the first girl to swallow my cum and hers was the first carpet I ever munched. Oh yeah, she was the first squirter I ever had. Thank goodness she didn't taste bad."
"What about you?"
"Well, I'm kind of afraid to tell you."
"What? Did you fuck my wife?"
"No. Hell, no. I'm surprised YOU even fucked that bitch." They both laughed.
"The wildest sex I ever had was with a man."
Conrad spewed his drink in front of him. "You telling me after all these years that you're really a homo?"
"I'm no homo. You know me better than that. Think about it. Have you ever not enjoyed blowing your load whether it was from your hand, a woman's mouth, a woman's pussy or a woman's ass?"
"Well, I could tell the difference between when it was my hand and when it was a woman."
"What if it had been a transvestite that fooled you? Are you telling me that you wouldn't have taken a blowjob from a man you thought was a woman?"
"I don't know. I never have. At least I don't think I have. I was with some girls that were certainly uglier than most guys I knew."
"If you had, would getting a blowjob from a transvestite have made you a faggot?"
"Well, no. Of course, not."
