I was sixty-five years old, when my wife, Mary, died. She'd been sick for some time so we hadn't had sex for a couple of years. And, it's funny, but I didn't even miss it. Maybe I'm getting old. And Mary hadn't been looking so great. I mean she wasn't attractive to me anymore, so I was just as happy that my sex life had come to a close. I tell this to people and they laugh at me, because I look much younger than my age. Everyone says I could pass for forty-five. My hair is still full and black. Yeah, there are a couple of grey hairs next to my ears, but otherwise not. I don't have a lot of wrinkles, and my body is still fairly firm. Hey, I'm not a twenty-year old kid, but for sixty-five, really not too bad
The only thing was that after the funeral, I started losing weight, and not shaving every-day, and all that. I guess I'm not that good at taking care of myself. I've always had a woman to cook for me, and tell me to spruce up and everything. First my mother, then my wife. I never had to do anything for myself. My son, Michael, was getting very concerned about me.
"Dad. This is no good. You're not taking care of yourself," he said. "I'm really worried about you."
"Don't be silly, Michael. I'll be just fine," I answered.
"No. You won't be. I can see what's happening here," he said. "Gloria and I have discussed it, and we think you should come and live with us."
"That's ridiculous" I said. "You two kids have your own lives. You don't need an old guy like me around the house all the time."
"Yes, we do," he insisted. "We've talked it over and we want you to come and live with us. We insist."
The two of them wouldn't leave me in peace until I agreed to move into their house. They had a large guest room with a big double bed, and they put me in there. They had no children, so when they both went to work after breakfast I was alone in the house all day. Just like I had been in my own house. But Gloria, at least, cooked all the meals, and left me lunch and made sure I was properly dressed and groomed every day. This went on for a few months, and everything was all right. But then I could see that Gloria was getting edgy. She would snap at me for no reason. I didn't know what was going on. Then one night, I overheard a loudly whispered conversation coming from their bedroom.
Gloria: This is not a hotel, and we're not made of money. Everybody has to pull their own weight around here.
Michael: But, Gloria. He's an old man. He's retired. You knew all this before. Why didn't you say something then?
Gloria: I thought I could put up with it, but I can't. This is no good. He's got to contribute.
Michael: But what can he do at his age?
Gloria: I'll tell you what he can do.....
And then the voices got very low and I couldn't hear anything else. I wondered what they had in mind for me. I knew when they asked me that I shouldn't have come. I should have stuck to my guns. I was so upset that I had a lot of trouble falling asleep that night.
They never said anything to me at all, but a couple of nights later Gloria made some coffee after dinner. I saw something funny. "What kind of powder did you put into my coffee, Gloria?"
"No powder, dad. That was sugar." she answered.
"I usually put in my own sugar," I said
"Well tonight I did it for you. Am I such a terrible daughter-in-law?"
We both laughed as I drank my coffee. About a half hour later I started feeling very sleepy. I started to yawn.
"What's wrong, dad?" Michael asked.
"I don't know. I'm just so sleepy," I answered.
"Maybe you should go up to bed and get a good night's sleep," Gloria suggested. I didn't want to go to bed yet. It was way too early, but I was soooo sleepy. I shook my head trying to shake that drowsy feeling away, but it wouldn't go. I tried to stand up and I started wobbling on my feet. I almost fell.
"Hey, dad. Be careful," Michael said. "Come on. We're going to take you up to bed. Just lean on me." They got on each side of me, and with a little difficulty they got me up the stairs and into my bedroom.
"I'll take his clothes off and put him in bed," Michael said. Gloria nodded and left the room. Michael sat me on the bed and began stripping my garments off me. Every few seconds I started to slide over onto the bed and he'd have to straighten me up to get my undershirt over my head. Finally he was finished, and I drooped down again. This time Michael laid me out carefully in the middle of the bed. I was lying on my stomach and my rear end was in the air. I was practically asleep. I think I was even snoring a little. I think Michael thought I was asleep, but in this deep stupor, I could still hear, and I had a vague idea what was happening. I was waiting for Michael to throw a blanket over my body. But it never happened.
"Is he ready?" she asked.
"There are some things I want to do first," he answered.
"But company is coming in a half hour," she complained.
"There are some things. I have to do first. I want to make sure he doesn't get hurt. He's my father, for Christ's sake. Do you mind?"