It had been a couple of weeks since Mary, Curly and I had our little moment in the pub toilet. Mary and I had gone out a couple of times since then, spent a lot of time on the phone, the usual. We'd been on two dates since that night- both ended in some mind-blowing sex. But, being the young bloke I was, I was whacking off every day too.
My old man had a pretty set routine- Dad worked in the city and his girlfriend was a baker, so she'd be out of the house before dawn and he'd usually be gone just after brekky. Mum shot through years ago. So that left me with the mornings to myself to have a really good wank and watch a bit of porn.
I was mostly sticking to the normal straight stuff, but since that night in the stall I'd started to look at more MMF sites, which lead me to some bi stuff, which sort of developed to the point I'd have some gay porn running at the same time as the straight sites. I was getting a bit interested in blokes getting it up their arses.
Didn't take me long to decide to give it a go for myself.
It started with a finger, then a couple, and I was loving it. But I wanted something a bit bigger. So one morning, once the house was empty, I was in the kitchen finishing brekky and I eyed off the carrots. There were a few big contenders there, one I estimated was the size of Curly, but I decided to start with a smaller one. I lay on my bed, naked, with some lube, and eased it in. After a bit of practice I got used to the rhythm and to opening up my backside and started trying a whole bunch of different angles. I was the star of my own little gay porno! Glad nobody could see me!
I discretely chucked out the carrot and chalked the morning up to an interesting new experience. But then the next morning, right after Dad drove away down the street, something came over me. I went back to the kitchen and grabbed the Curly-sized carrot. I was halfway to my room when I decided to grab the second-biggest too. I nicknamed him Charlie- not after anyone in particular, just seemed like a good name.
I wanted to make the session last for a bit so I started out gently, but lust overcame me pretty quickly. I squatted down on Charlie and throated Curly. Then I got myself on all fours and drove Charlie in deep. It was when I was on my back, legs in the air, ramming the carrot in me while I was still sucking like a whore on the other one, that I realised a couple of things.
Firstly, I wasn't paying any attention to the outside world when I was doing this little spit-roast display.
Secondly, I'd left my bedroom door wide open.
And thirdly, my old man had come back for something, and was now standing in the doorway watching his nineteen year old pride and joy doing something he probably didn't even know you could do with two carrots.
It was the worst moment of my life. I pulled Charlie out, dropped Curly, started mumbling all sorts of crap, tried to cover up with my blankets. My old man's expression was completely unreadable- I think it was shock more than anything.
"I, uh, I forgot my phone." he said.
"Oh." I said, now deeply under the blankets.
There was an awkward pause. Then Dad said, unexpectedly, "I'm gonna put the kettle on. Come have a coffee with me when you're ready."
I was never gonna be ready. But eventually I put some shorts on, hid Charlie and Curly under some tissues in my bin and walked out to the kitchen. Dad was sitting at the bench, his tie undone, with two cups of coffee ready. I sat down, avoiding eye-contact.
"So..." Dad began.
"I'm not gay!" I blurted out.
