Please note that my partner and I always have safe sex with strangers but I never include the description of posing condoms in my works. Play safe, stay safe guys. Saying you are clean is not the same as being clean.
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A few years ago now, me and my partner Dave entered to take part in a television quiz/ game show. We had several hurdles to cross and from completing the application questionnaire to telephone interviews and finally a 'screen test', we were selected.
We had to take several changes of clothes and the production team would select the one they preferred and, for continuity, we would have to wear those outfits for the day and a half of filming. We would also be accommodated overnight in a hotel next to the studios.
I hadn't really fancied the idea as it meant being gently mocked on television by a national treasure (with a rumoured hard drug habit) but I went along with Dave's plan anyway in the hope of winning some much needed money. (In case I forget to mention, we did end up winning a holiday which may, if this lockdown continues, be the subject of another true story.)
We were met by a member of the production team on the first morning who showed us around the studio and where the facilities were and she took us to a colleague who would help pick out a photogenic outfit that made us look like our caricature (stereotypical gay couple) on screen and aid the piss being ripped out if us. One couple of our fellow contestants had their not-so-finest outfits chosen for them, ill fitting and gaudy tops accentuating their need to lose weight and a very pleasant elderly couple were mismatched deliberately so the guy was dressed like a retired army general and his wife like a bag lady.
The guy who chose the outfits we would wear from the selection we had taken was about 30 years old, very slight build and about 5'6. And both feminine in shape I thought..... and camp. He was nonetheless very nice to all of us but seemed to fuss over Dave and I even though the bright lights of the London gay scene were a 20 minute train ride away.
Filming proper began after lunch, I think for the show's host a rather boozy affair judging by the smell of stale alcohol on his breath although that could have been the result of a heavy session the night before and, when he finally joined us to commence filming I guess it may have been just the start of his day. The afternoon flew by in many ways and the old couple were quickly eliminated but stayed to watch the filming finish as all 3 couples taking part were staying in the same hotel and their train home to Plymouth wasn't until the following day.
Once we had finished for the afternoon, the camp assistant was in charge of accompanying us to the hotel and getting us checked in. The minibus arrived and deposited us at the hotel although it would have been quicker to walk, the camp assistant (Owen) chattering from start to finish. Conversation was easy enough and I warmed to him, deciding he flirted with every one which I found quite endearing. So much so that when we had all checked in, I asked him to join us for dinner that evening if he didn't have plans and so a table for the 6 of us later became a table for 7, once we had all gotten washed and changed. I even managed 15 minutes in the hotel pool before the meal instead of a shower, leaving me clean and chlorinated.
Owen popped back to the studio and returned for dinner, squeezing between Dave and the old guy. The women loved that Owen was flirting with them and loved it even more that he was flirting with their husbands, even Dave who is more reserved than myself loosened up and we enjoyed a great and entertaining meal. The old couple went to their room first, followed by the big bird, leaving four of us having a glass of after dinner wine and then Paul decided to go check on his fat missus and that was the last we saw of him.
Owen, after a few drinks, was more outrageous but at the same time he was getting cuter, his limp blond hair needing to be continually swished back as it kept falling over his face. The three of us were sat in a huddle and he was touching my knee when he spoke to me, then the same with Dave.
"Like champagne?" I asked.