Reflections...and Ben

The couch and the floor soon become littered with our shirts, undershirts, shoes, wallets, keys - all the things that get in the way as Ben and I struggle to find a comfortable way to make out. Driven by mutual desire, we put up with the lumps and barriers of scratchy fabric until we both start to laugh. We just sit up and laugh. I snuggle my face next to his, and in the softest voice ever I whisper: bedroom?

"Will you stay the night?" His eyes plead better than his words.

I nod and off we go. Ben leads the way, unbuckling and unzipping as he walks the hallway. He steps out of his jeans and turns to face me. His bed is unmade behind him; and I get the wonderful feeling that I will soon be there where he has recently slept...with him - not just his scent and memory, but Ben. Ben in my arms. Ben in bed with me. Ben and I making love together.

"Can I help?" He gestures at the jeans still clinging to my body. I look down as he moves to unbuckle my belt. His fingers fish for my zipper. He bends down as my pants fall and frees my legs and feet. He looks up at my body, pausing briefly along the way to touch me in several sensitive places. The wet spot on my briefs would have embarrassed me but for the fact that his briefs are equally wet. He rises to face me.

"Are we ready for this? Please say yes!" I nod for my answer. Then say: 'Yes', and we tumble into his bed in a heap of ourselves. I had taken in his look as we made our way down the hallway. This was the first chance I had to see Ben's body. As he took off his clothes, his gestures and muscularity spoke volumes about his appeal to me. I am mostly masculine in appearance and gesture, with a healthy side of uninhibited spirit shining through. Ben is all man. Soft spoken, virile, physically strong, emotionally vulnerable, fun to be with, and hot as hell. But there is a side to him that he keeps hidden. I can feel it just under the surface. There is a tension there, and I want to know what it is. A voice in my head tells me: be careful what you wish for!

"Tell me if something doesn't work for you. Don't just endure it. Tell me. I want us to be totally open and honest with each other." His hands sweep under the waistband of my briefs and have them down to my hips before his words are done.

I lift my body and he pulls the briefs off. Up on my elbows, I can see his every move. He moves to place a kiss on my abs, and slowly makes his way down my trail. I keep my pubes trimmed, yet the very nearness of his face to them sends a shock wave through me as I collapse onto the bed. He reaches a hand to my chest and I hold it there in mine. The moment is shared by thoughts of sweet lovemaking, and fears of messing up somehow. That has kept my dick in a constant state of up-down. Ben puts his other hand at the base of my crotch and from now on there is no way I can be anything but blue steel.

"You are my first guy, but I've got a good imagination that has done all of this before. I am ready if you are." He turns as he speaks so that our eyes can lock on.

Me too. He has his permission. Ben turns back to his mission to please me, and to satisfy the desire within him to experience a kind of love he, and I, have been praying for. The sweet mouth that had me so very hot and bothered on the couch is now poised at the head of my dick. He takes his time. His thumb and forefinger gently rub the corona and I shiver and let out a moan. I precum a lot. My wet briefs did not exhaust my supply. I feel a large drop ooze from my slit.

"Uhhh!" Then his tongue licks at me and his lips wrap around my cockhead. I squeeze his hand reflexively and his tongue goes to work. I let go completely. I am totally at his mercy, and wonder if he knows it. Just then, as if he has read my mind, he roughly grabs my nutsack and gives it a yank - not enough to be completely painful, but almost. His hand on my chest springs into action and clamps over my mouth. In my surprise, I buck my hips in an effort to sit up, shoving my rod deep into Ben's throat. A bit of fear creeps over me. I like to watch porn videos with all kinds of kink, even bondage, but the thought of that happening to me sends me into panic mode. His hand grips tighter on my mouth as I try to speak. That is enough for me.

I manage to wrap my teeth around one of his fingers and bite down. Panic takes over and as he yells, I shoot up and run into the bathroom. I push the lock button just as his hand tries to turn the doorknob. Ben! I kind of shriek his name out. What happened to: 'Tell me if something doesn't work for you.'? 'I want us to be totally open and honest with each other.'?

"It's okay. I like to play rough once in a while. You do too. I can tell you like it. Open up and let's get back to it. You taste real good. I'll be back in the bed waiting for you." I think I hear him move away from the door. I am wrong.

The second I unlock the door he grabs me by the wrists and pulls me roughly to his bed. All this time the sheep was hiding a wolf inside and I never even suspected. Now it is too late. Ben seems to change before my eyes. He has a wild look about him. His eyes flash all over my body as I try to break away. He bear-hugs me; and as we wrestle and roll onto the floor, he grabs something from the night stand. I see a cloth in his hand, and scream his name. NO, BEN. NO! The last thing I hear is his gentle voice...

"I promise not to hurt you...I promise."

My eyes open slowly. He sits on the edge of the bed. I try to move my left hand and it is stuck. Turning my head there I see the strap that holds it to the bedpost. I panic and am about to scream. My heart thumps in my chest and he knows I am terrified. His left hand clamps over my mouth and his right hovers over my heart. He speaks softly to me.

"You have a choice to make." His hand lowers to my chest and he feels my heart pounding there. "You can play the game with me, or you can leave now. Your other hand is free and you can just get up and go. But if you stay, we do this my way. I will never hurt you. Never." He feels my breath steady a bit and my heart start to calm. When he moves his hand from my mouth I blurt out: YOU BASTARD!

Ben smiles and goes in for a kiss. I start to cry as I melt under the sweetness of him. He wipes at my tears. Why, Ben?

"I dominate. It is a hidden but powerful aspect of me that I could not show you in any other way. You can leave, and tear my heart out if you go. I feel that strongly about you. This is who I am, I hope you can forgive me and stay."

Let me sit up so we can talk.

"You can slip out of the restraint - it is designed for that."

I sit up and gather my wits about me. Never. Never ever do anything like that again without telling me first. I can roll play with you and keep us both happy, but the terror you inflicted on me is never to be repeated. Swear to it.

"I swear." He looks pensive. He doesn't know if I will stay or go. Good. It serves him right. Now I feel like having some revenge. I ask Ben to get me a glass of water. He returns and sits on the edge of the bed. I can not help my devilish look as I bend in to kiss him, but swing one hand to push the drug-soaked cloth to his face, while my other one holds the back of his head nice and tight. Ben struggles in surprise before he slumps sideways and I hustle his heavy body to the center of the bed.

Wakie, wakie, my little prisoner. He rolls his head to the side and slowly opens his eyes. All four limbs tense and yank at their restraints at the same time. Twice he tries to break free. Then he relaxes. His eyes show terror. He thinks he can talk his way out of this, but the ball gag in his mouth tells him otherwise. I have twisted the slip-out restraints so that he is trapped. After assessing his plight, he flops his head down prone in complete capitulation. I hover over him.

He sees the kitchen knife I hold in my hand and his eyes flare in complete unmitigated horror. I lean in close to his right ear and whisper: I promise not to hurt you...I promise.