Rescue

"How do you know you're gay?"

About a week after I got this job, one of the friendlier guys at work asked me to cruise for chicks with him. I was still trying to feel like I fit in, and did not want to put up a barrier to possible friendship. Look, Ted, hanging out with you would please me very much. I hope we can become good friends. Thing is, Ted, well...I'm gay.

"Thought that might be the case. Seen a certain look from you a few times. Hey - it's cool. You'll be my first gay guy friend, Micah. No. Mikey! From now on you're Mikey! We can do something gay guys like to do."

Did I imagine a double meaning in what he just said? No. He meant to telegraph something to me, even if it was just in jest. Ted went from a coy little smirk to a full blown toothy grin, and I fell in love with him on the spot. Okay, Ted, let's put on makeup and shop for shoes together! My smile was meant to match his. It worked.

"All in good time, Mikey, all in good time!"

We laughed so much, it hurt. Damn. I have a friend! Okay, Ted, I'll tell you. We were alone in the break-room so we sat down across from each other. A few years back, a guy I was friends with asked me if I wanted to fool around with him. Nothing before that gave me a clue. He just up and asked. I said yes. From the way it went, I could tell that neither of us had done guy stuff before. We were both a little awkward at it, but he was hot, and I was ready.

"What did you do?" His wide-eyed look put me at ease.

We kissed. We were at his place on a warm summer night. He took the lead and my tee was soon on the floor. I just stood there while he undressed me. I felt kind of shy, but he seemed really into it, so I didn't say or do anything. When he stepped back to examine his efforts, and me, I blushed. Telling me I looked hot was a big help. He stripped off his clothes as fast as he could, and we both chuckled. He took my hand and led me to the pool. I was glad to see a big privacy fence all around his yard. Hey, I'm not a good swimmer.

"Not gonna swim much, Micah. Got other things to do with you."

To do with me. I wasn't sure that sounded right. We stopped at the edge of the pool, and he bear-hugged me. My thoughts melted away, and all I could do was feel his skin touch mine. It was wonderful. His body was strong. This feeling of him hugging me, naked, far surpassed all of my fantasies, and I totally let go of my inhibitions. I wrapped my arms around him. He pushed off with both feet and we splashed into the pool. We were still in that embrace and kissing when we touched the bottom. It was not very deep, but the water was still over our heads. Once again he pushed off and we rose to the surface.

"Feels good, huh?! Follow me!"

I nodded and managed to say yeah. We got to the shallow end, and sat up on the edge with our feet still in the water. We were both hard. His dick had to be nine inches and it was arrow straight, and thick. I kind of stared at it until he laughed.

"Want some? Bet you do! Pussy boy will have to wait. I go first!"

Pussy boy. That definitely did not sound right to me. His hand and mouth on my erect six incher swung my mind away from his words. I put my hands behind my head and stared at the stars. Then I felt his warm tongue on one of my pits. He really went at it. He got really into it and his hands kept busy exploring my body, as well. I was floating in a mental haze and loving it.

"Get on the pad!"

He pointed to a thick padded cushion used for tanning. It had a raised attached pillow on it. I got onto it on my side and was about to twist onto my back when his big muscled arms caught me. I was laid on my belly. When I started to say something, he pushed my head into the pillow. I could hardly breathe! My choking sound got him to let up.

"Shut the fuck up! You want this more than I do! Faggots like you live for cock! Let a real man fuck you, pussy boy! Damn, that's a sweet pussy!"

Something inside of me wanted him, but not this way. I really did want a man to make me his, and I longed for that kind of connection, so I just gave in and lay there. I told myself it was consensual. I heard him spit, and felt the wad hit my cheeks. He rubbed it in. The swim, and my original attraction for him must have loosened me up, because when he thrust into me, I did not feel any pain.

"Oh, man! Take it all! I got me a real live fuck buddy, now!"

It only took him a few thrusts before he let out a loud groan, and collapsed onto my back. I felt his cock explode within me. He just lay there, saying nothing. I thought I would have to be there all night. Then he got off of me, and flipped me over. He held out a hand and I took it.

"Let's eat something."

He seemed deep within himself. We got some food and beers from the kitchen and went back to the yard. We sat at the table and he gave me a blank stare, like he was waiting for me to say something.

"You okay?"

I nodded.

"Good. Eat up and I'll take you home."

That was my first guy-on-guy experience. I had some serious self esteem issues then, and decided it was all good. We got together lots of times after that. He never called me names again, and there was even some tenderness in the way he treated me. I knew he was in denial in his own mind, but we never talked much about it. It was always him taking the lead. Sometimes he even got me off, mostly when he wanted to go down on me. He got a job transfer and moved overseas. I never heard from him again. Ted shook his head.

"Bastard."

Pretty much. I don't hate him, though. I dated a few girls after that, to see if I could, you know, not be gay. I told myself the sex was good. It did feel good, after all. I longed for a man, though. No doubt about it...I was, and am, gay. Ted gave me a look of concern, sympathy, and longing all in one. I was still trying to figure out his gaze when he spoke to me. His words came from a deep place within him, and I felt what he wanted me to.

"I'll never treat you like that."

Ted and I went on to become good friends. We hung out a lot together. He treated me like a little brother, and I loved it. Talking with him was easy, and always mutually satisfying. We had an unspoken understanding between us about our boundaries, somehow. At least that is what I thought, until I saw him licking the ice cream from my cone.

My mind raced and so did my heartbeat. Ted looked up at me and smiled.

"Tastes good. Want a lick?"

Mine was vanilla and he had maple walnut. I leaned over and slurped up a good mouthful.

"How does it feel to have my nuts in your mouth, Mikey?"

We roared with laughter. People stared at us. I didn't care. Better than that, neither did Ted. Feels real nice, T. About time we broke through that barrier! I reached out and we traded cones. The rest of his ice cream was the best I have ever eaten! We wanted to take the tram ride tour of the large open animal areas, and it pulled up just as we finished. We got on board, two people to a seat, all facing forward. Ted took my hand in his, and we kept them on the seat between our legs. Once again, my mind raced and my heart beat faster. Was Ted really moving us into new territory, or was he just expressing a fondness for me, as he often did? I couldn't, I would never chance loosing him by jumping to conclusions. I had to wait and let him make a move. That is, if he wanted to.

When the tram entered a short tunnel, all went dark. His other hand touched my cheek and gently turned me to him. I knew what would come next and I couldn't breathe. His kiss was gentle, firm, sweet and way too short as the tram broke into the daylight once again. We just looked at each other, saying nothing. His hand was still in mine.

"Am I bi, Mikey?"

We were on a straightaway section of track and I guessed that others could not see us. I really did not care, though. I leaned in and kissed Ted. You and I have a special and deep relationship, T. If you really want an answer, let's leave the zoo now, and spend the rest of the afternoon finding one.

On the walk to the car, Ted put his arm around my shoulder, buddy style.

"Drive us to my place. I have my answer, Micah, and I want to share it with you."