Special note: This is a love story between two men who were brought together in the aftermath of tragedy. A lot of the subject matter deals with depression and the struggles that come with mental illness, but it also is a story of hope, second chances, and a bond that is stronger than sorrow, hopelessness, and even death. While there will be some steamy parts to this story in upcoming chapters don't lose sight that the real story is about how pain and loss can unite people, and that new relationships, strong bonds of friendship and love, and strength in the face of heartache, can help to overcome any obstacle. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this new series. ~Chance~
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Prologue
Jesse couldn't believe that he'd been so stupid. He felt like such an ass. He lay in the hospital bed and thought about the events of the past few days that had brought him there.
He'd had problems with depression ever since he was a teenager. When he turned twenty-one he'd finally got a medication that really helped but lately his depression had gotten worse. There were a lot of contributing factors though. He'd recently been fired from his job of four years through no fault of his own. Not unless you count telling off a fat, lazy, nurse who'd rather sit on her ass watching call lights go off then actually get up and help answer them. They had been short staffed. Jesse and one other aide were the only ones on shift that night for the east wing. Normally there were three aides and a floater on staff.
The floater helped answer call lights, passed ice water, and helped the other three aides with transfers and anything else they needed. The lack of the floater and the third aide made things a lot more difficult and on top of that the aide Jesse worked with was pregnant and couldn't lift anyone! The entire night had been such a mess but Jesse was doing his best to get the work done but with his co-worker coming up to him every five minutes and asking for help, it was really putting him behind. When the nurse announced that she was going to write him up he became enraged.
"What the hell for?" He practically screamed at her. "I've been working my ass off all night!"
"Not from what I have seen." Caroline, the registered nurse, told him. "I've been sitting at my desk for twenty minutes watching your hall. Ellen had her light on the entire time and you never once went down to answer it. Her room mate had to pull the emergency light because Ellen fell on her way to the bathroom!"
Jesse stared at Caroline in disbelief. "I've been on 'B' hall for the past thirty minutes helping Carrie change her residents." He argued. "I haven't even gotten to my hall yet. Instead of sitting on your ass watching the lights why weren't you down there helping me to answer them? You know we're short staffed!"
Caroline rolled her eyes as she put her hands on her hips. "It's not my job to answer call lights!" She hissed. "You need to learn to manage your time better, and I don't appreciate the way you're speaking to me. I'm your superior, I deserve a bit more respect than that."
Jesse raised an eyebrow. "You're my 'supervisor' because you have a degree but I've taken the same classes and have had the same training as you, I just haven't taken the nurses exam yet. So no, you are NOT my superior! As far as I'm concerned you're a piss poor excuse for a nurse. I remember when you were just an aide. You didn't do anything but sit on your ass back then either! If you want me to show you some respect then do something to earn it!"
That was the last straw for Caroline. She added insubordination to the write up form, which Jesse refused to sign. Ordinarily he would have been sent home for refusing to sign the write up but since they were so short Caroline opted to let him stay. He got a call from the care centers Administrator the next morning though and when he went into the office to speak with her he was told that she was terminating his employment. Caroline had told the Administrator that he was cursing and yelling in front of residents, and that he'd told Caroline to go fuck herself.
Jesse was adamant that none of that was true. There were no residents in ear shot, they were in the nurses office at the time, he had told her that she should have gotten off her ass but that was the only curse word he used. Still, his behavior was deemed inappropriate and he was let go. He cleaned out his locker, slamming the door hard enough that the metal clanked loudly enough that the aides in the break room came into the locker room to see what was wrong. "I've been canned." He told them. "Watch yourselves, this place is corrupt." He gathered his belongings then left the building. By the time He got to his car he was in tears. He had no idea what he was going to do now. But that was just the start of his troubles.
Over the next few days things just went bad to worse. Jesse called his mom, Judy, and told her about what had happened. He'd hoped for some sympathy or even a bit of motherly advice but instead what he got was a lecture about how he needed to watch his temper.
"You're Thirty-two years old!" She harped at him. "You have two children! You can't afford to be without a job!" As if he didn't already know that.
The bills were piling up and he was almost out of food. He was left with two options. Pay the electric or let the kids starve. Neither seemed reasonable so he did the next best thing. He started begging for help. He asked his mom for money, he went to catholic charities, and to the red cross. They both gave him a list of food banks that he could use. The red cross had emergency funds for housing but he'd paid the rent already. He needed money for his electric bill which was over 200 dollars since he hadn't paid it in two months. He figured that he could maybe pay half of it but he also had to factor in money for gas, diapers, wipes, and any other things he would need in the coming weeks.
Everything seemed hopeless. He was a single father with no job, living in a trailer with a five year old, a three year old, and no money. Even his current boyfriend Keith was little help. Jesse had suggested that they move in together to help off set the cost but Keith had never really been that keen on the idea of having kids. He was young, in his twenties still. He wanted to party all night, come home drunk, and sleep all day. Not the kind of life that Jesse wanted nor could afford. Keith was growing frustrated. He worked part time as a check out clerk and made just enough money to get by on so he couldn't help out financially. Most of the time he borrowed money off Jesse so Jesse's lack of income was a real problem for him.
Keith also couldn't deal with the ups and downs of Jesse's depression and anxiety. When Jesse tried to confide in him, Keith just rolled his eyes and sighed. "It's always something with you." He groaned as he got up from the couch and walked to the window. "Always drama. I'm sick of it. You never want to go out anywhere, there's always an issue for you finding a baby sitter. I don't want to just hang out around your house and watch movies all night. When I do come over you end up falling asleep or the kids wake up. Always something. Hell, we haven't even has sex in a month! What am I supposed to do? Jerk off the rest of my life?"
