This is my first attempt at an erotic story. It is complete fiction but comes from my own fantasies. I hope you enjoy it and look forward to comments and criticisms.
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Jeff is my neighbor across the street and he sucks. When I say he sucks, I mean it in several ways; First, he is as gay as the day is long, loves to flaunt it, and constantly brags about how good he is at sucking cock. Second, he sucks because he loves to fuck with people and play pranks on them. And he's good at it.
As a straight guy, I am often the butt of these jokes because I can't always tell when he is kidding with me. My wife is no help as she thinks it's hilarious that I am so hopelessly straight, that I can't "get" a gay joke. Jeff is also "besties" with my wife. I'd be jealous as hell if he was straight. They go shopping together, partying at bars and clubs, and even go to the same hair salon. Jeff's actually a great guy so when I say he sucks, it is meant as a joke.
One night when we were hanging out on the porch having too many cocktails, my wife and Jeff were having a discussion about sucking cock. This was turning me on a little bit, to hear my tipsy wife describing how she like to suck my cock. The argument was basically that gay guys were much better at sucking dick than women were. The old "Seinfeld" argument was in play, if you have the equipment, you know how it feels so you can do a better job of it. The same could also be said for licking pussy.
"I can out-suck any gay guy." My wife proclaimed confidently. "I've sucked a ton of dicks in college and every guy loved it!"
"Jesus Christ babe, I'm sitting right here!" I exclaimed.
"It was before I knew you baby." She said sarcastically, batting her eyes at me. "Before I found your perfect cock."
Jeff took the moment to add his thoughts. "I guarantee that I've had more cocks in my mouth than you, girl. All men are better at sucking dick, period. Even Dan could suck a better dick than you if he would just try it."
"Hey, what the fuck?" I said "You two are insane."
The wife wasn't having it and she was also a drunk-talker. "Well Dan has an 8 inch cock and I can deep-throat the whole thing!" She said.
"Oh, honey." He said. "I'd love to see that but I bet you a mani-pedi that I could make Dan cum faster than you!"
"You're on!" She exclaimed. I almost spit my Dark and Stormy across the deck when I heard that.
"Was she fucking serious?" I thought to myself, shocked at what I was hearing.
"OK Dan, let's see that big cock! I'm going to suck it dry!" Jeff demanded as he knelt in front of me and opened his mouth wide.
My mouth hit the floor and I turned as red as a tomato. Then they both looked at me, then back at each other, and broke out laughing, long and hard. What the fuck was up with these two? They were like teenage girlfriends. Jesus.
"Got you!" Jeff yelled, pointing up at me. "You should have seen your face!"
They were laughing themselves silly. Ha ha. Fuck this.
"You two morons can finish this argument by yourselves." I told them and went inside.
Such are evenings on the porch with these two sometimes.
The next day was Saturday. I got up in the morning and went outside to do my domestic chores. Today I had to mow the lawn, clean the garage, and maybe power-wash the driveway if I really felt up to working hard. When the lawn was done and I was putting up the mower, Jeff walked into the garage. He apologized for the previous night and said he was sorry for embarrassing me. I said it was no big deal but he pressed on.
"You seemed stressed out a bit so I thought I would try to be funny."
"Its not a big deal, I was just tired." I said.
"Well look, you DO seem stressed lately so I got you a little something to help you relax."
Jeff handed me a envelope.
"This is not necessary Jeff, I said it wasn't a big deal. I'm not angry."
"I know, but you'll like this anyway." He said.
I opened the envelope and it had a gift certificate inside for 'Red Market Massage.'
"This is where I go and it's the best massage house in the entire city." Jeff said.
I tried to talk my way out of it but Jeff wasn't having it. I didn't feel like getting in a public argument with a flamboyant gay guy on my driveway so I finally relented.
"Just present this certificate when you get there. They know me well and will get you exactly what you need." He told me.
After work on Monday, I realized I was actually feeling stressed so I decided that a massage would probably help me relax. It had been ages since I'd had a really good rub-down. I mapped the address and drove over to the north side of town. The Red Market was discreetly signed and looked like a modern doctor's office. I sat in my car for long time and watched. I thought maybe Jeff was fucking with me so I wanted to see what was going on first. There were normal looking men and women going in and out so I finally decided that it was legit, and went inside.
Inside it was very nice and modern with a cute college-aged girl working the front counter. She was talking to an absolutely gorgeous woman, dressed in a tight fitting, all white uniform.
"Was she a masseuse here?" I wondered to myself. "What a knock out!"
She was probably 5'7", maybe 115 pounds and fit. She had long black hair in a high ponytail and tan, beautiful looking skin. She was muscular, but in a very feminine way with an amazing ass.
"Can I help you?" the desk girl asked. I realized I was staring.
