I recommend reading previous chapters to understand the characters and Rick's exploration and...
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I woke up Saturday morning feeling refreshed, rested and ...confused. My idea had been to get away for a week of solitude, time to digest all of the new sexual experiences of the past month and to come to some resolution as to who I am.
I lay in bed contemplating the week and my exploration. I can now rule out being strictly straight, as I clearly love to suck cock. Straight men don't get excited by seeing a nice cock or go wild with passion sucking a cock and looking forward to having it erupt with delicious cum in their mouth. I have to admit that I love cock, sucking cock, rubbing it on my face, having it plunge deep in my ass, fucking me to orgasm.
I still enjoy being with a woman, but am still in a state of confusion. I have new questions. Am I a top? Am I a bottom? Do I like bears like Big Ben and Rob? Or do I prefer muscle builders like Vic? Or athletes like Tim and Roy (more about him later)? Am I a cross dresser? These aren't questions a straight man asks. Whether I like it or not, I am may be gay, and I do love sex with men.
And my week of solitude started out as anything but a week of solitude.
I am still feeling shame and guilt for being so abused at the Club on Sunday night, but I asked for it, I could have left, but didn't. In a strange way, I enjoyed it, being desired by, and bringing satisfaction to so many men. I know I never want to get gang fucked like that again.