It was the day of my Dad's funeral and a service was held in the undertaker's chapel. I was amazed at the amount of friends he had, some of whom were in his bowling club and such.
I enveloped into tears after the ceremony and this guy who called himself Rob came to comfort me, saying he had known Fred ( my dad) ever since he joined the bowling club two years before and thought he was a great .
He was still in attendance at the burial, standing beside me, for I had no family to speak of.
He hugged me to his shoulder and I openly wept. I was going to miss Dad even though we had, had our differences and had not spoken of late..
When Rob clasped my hand I felt a sincere warmth coming through. When I started to take it away he continued to clasp and then placed his other hand over my knuckles.
I was highly vulnerable at the time and although I appreciated Rob's concern I felt that it was just a little more than merely that.
He whispered saying I would get over it and would need to move on. "I can help you do that, Pete" he offered and then he said; "Come back to my car, the windows at the rear are shaded and I could relax and be at ease, then he would be glad take me for a drink.
I relented, the funeral was done, Dad's friends had departed and there was just me and Rob left.
When we got to his four- wheel drive it was roomy, he opened the rear door and beckoned me in. I thought he would go to the drivers seat in front but he too came and joined me.
It was then I began to realise there was more to Rob's concern, yet oddly I felt no repulsion when his hand grasped mine and he whispered for me to let him make me feel better after the ordeal.
It was as if he knew my very private sexual leaning that, even though I was 21 that year, had never been exercised. I had often thought how it would be to have a boy friend but somehow, with me being reserved, I had never had the opportunity to really set my frustrated feelings free - and for so long had done what all lonely guys do. But of course it could never be the same, like being with another guy, like...
"Let me comfort you more, Pete" he said and it is strange and unlike me, because normally I would have immediately hedged away, but whether it was because of the deep emotional state I was in or if it was just something about Rob and his manner that stayed me. I could not fathom.
I guess with me not saying a word he took that to be okay and I felt his hand start to rub me so delightfully which felt rather lovely.
My first reaction was to push his hand away.
"Come on Pete, you know you'd like to. Let me just give you a gentle massage and you will soon feel better, I promise."