I don't even know where it came from, but just...something about the idea of it seemed right.
We each got a sandwich and ate together, tried to pretend it was some kind of date and...well, it ended up with all the hallmarks of two college freshmen just learning what 'dating' is.
We were quiet, ate, didn't know what to say.
And it wasn't the awkwardness of the situation but more this bubbling anxiousness that kept our eyes from meeting.
Neither of us really liked guys per se, but for some reason both of us could just see it once it came up and then once we did this it just felt that much more real until I was so scared I could puke right there.
It was the energy of the moment.
This feeling of 'shit, we could be doing this EVERY night' mixed with 'damn, I need this bad.'
Once we were done, we both decided we should brush our teeth first and we kinda had a breather right there, both of us brushing and even prolonging the brushing, putting more paste on, going over parts of our teeth 'just to make sure' then just stopping a bit too long until I just had to break it and stop.
I spat into the sink and he quickly did the same and followed, not wanting to sit there alone with his thoughts.
And so we sat there, just staring at each other.
Finally we made eye contact.
Given what we were about to do, and couldn't put off, this felt the easiest part of the night now.
We couldn't chicken out and jerk off, we'd done that so many times by now we'd each had desperate wankathons just trying to imagine what SOME skin contact might be like until one day we just thought we were comfortable, and desperate, enough to go here.
It didn't even matter that we was a guy anymore.
He felt safe.
He felt familiar.
