-- Everyone is over the age of 18 and in their final year of high school in England --
"Did you have sex with Michael Suzette?"
The question was flung at me as soon as I walked into Rory's bedroom, one sunny afternoon in April. He was staring at me, hands on his hips and he was shaking slightly, as if he'd been waiting for hours to ask me this. Well, there was no point in denying it, since a) it was true and b) he'd clearly already found out from somebody else. Still, I was blindsided for a moment and I mentally stumbled. An idiotic phrase fell out of my mouth, which only riled him further.
"Eh... how did you find out?"
His eyebrows shot up in livid disbelief. "Seriously?" he snapped. "That's your response?"
I held my hands out in a calming gesture. He was very attractive when he was this angry but, right now, that was definitely, definitely not the point to make.
"Okay, baby, that was a dumb thing to say. You just surprised me a little with the question. Yes, I did hook up with him. Months ago. Before he came-out and long, long before you and I got together. Long before. It was before I'd even started hooking-up with Josh Peterly..."
"Oh, well, hearing his name just makes this day so much better, doesn't it?"
Now I was beginning to get annoyed. He had a right to be upset, yes, but he didn't need to be so childish about it.
"Oh, you're right, Rory. I mention Joshua Peterly all the time and I definitely haven't done enough to prove to you that I think he's garbage."
His mouth hung open for a minute - like he'd gone to speak, before realizing he'd nothing to rebut with.
"You should've told me," he said after a minute's pause.
"Yes, I should. But he hadn't come-out yet, Rory, and I didn't think it was fair. Or relevant."
"Not relevant? He's in our year at school. We see him every day. And I remember sitting with you, in here, in my room, on the day he did come-out and talking to you about it. Why didn't you say then?"
There was no way I was going to tell Rory that the reason I'd withheld the information was because I worried it'd exacerbate his insecurities again. Michael Suzette was extraordinarily good-looking. By general consensus, in fact, pretty much the most 'beautiful' man in our grade. I'd known then, just like I knew now, that Rory would react badly to the idea that I'd slept with him.
"Because it was irrelevant by that point," I reasoned, lamely. "It meant nothing to me. The sex was shit and I find Michael pretty full of himself for someone who's shit in bed. I really did not want to re-live it, or talk about it. And, not to sound like a dick, but it happened before you and I got together, which means you're not automatically entitled to that information, Rory. No, I'm sorry, don't interrupt β you're not. Okay? Especially since you and I have never had that conversation about our exes. Have I ever asked you about Stefan? No. Have you ever offered me any information about him? No. Have I ever asked you, or have you ever asked me, in all seriousness, about who we hooked-up with before each other? No. No, we haven't. So I have absolutely no idea why you're flinging accusations at me the second I walk through the door because I didn't choose to share an insignificant part of my life that, up until today, you yourself have shown absolutely no interest in!"
I was pleased to see he looked embarrassed after that. But the moment of pleasure soon gave way to a feeling of discomfiture. I hated seeing him sad, so I crossed over and put my arms around him.
"I'm sorry if this has upset you," I whispered, "but it meant nothing. And I never think about it, or him."
He nuzzled into me and breathed; his anger evaporating into me.
"Virginia told me," he said, answering the question I hadn't even asked yet. I felt annoyed. Of course she had; of course it was his Regina George-a-like BFF who'd told him. "She heard it from one of Michael's friends in her Italian class this morning. She thought I should... she thought I had a right to know."
Now was not the time to start a rant about Virginia, especially since we'd just made up. I kissed his neck and then kept myself there, in stasis, once I'd stopped.
"I'm sorry," I repeated, quietly. "Don't be mad. It meant nothing. You didn't need to yell at me."
He nodded. "I'm sorry," he replied. "I shouldn't have. It just surprised me. I looked stupid when Virginia told me and I didn't already know."
"I know, love," I said. "But there isn't anyone but you who's ever really mattered to me."
He smiled into my chest and he said, coyly, "I wish my parents weren't in right now."
*
On Monday, I found Virginia sitting alone in the library during fourth period. It was rare to find her alone, without at least one of her acolytes faithfully orbiting her. Her Italian A-Level textbook was open in front of her and she looked only vaguely interested in it.
Even I, who was gay and actually quite disliked Virginia, had to concede that she was a strikingly pretty girl. She had long light brown hair, that she always kept perfectly styled; she had a trim figure, beautiful brown eyes, a bit like Rory's, and a spot-free, tanned complexion. She was a good-dresser and even in her school uniform, you could tell she knew how to wear clothes. She looked up as I approached and she sighed as I sat down; she knew what I was here to talk to her about.
"Hello, Sebastian," she said, in that clipped English upper-class drawl that was so, so, so like Rory's.
"Hello, Virginia. Guessing you know why I'm here?"
"The mysterious affair of Michael Suzette?" she joked. It was a catty joke; one that said I should feel ashamed, not her.
"No, actually. The mysterious affair of Rory Masterton," I rejoined. "I don't give a fuck if people know that I slept with Michael, but you had no right to go to Rory and tell him first. That should have come from me."
"You're right," she said. "It should have. But it didn't. You two have been dating for β how long, Sebastian? β six months? ..."
"Seven," I corrected.
She waved her hand in the air dismissively. "Right, seven. You've had seven months to tell him and you didn't. Once Michael Suzette came-out, you should have told him because you must have realized that, at some point, Michael was going to tell his friends and then it would only be a matter of time before the school's rumor mill made sure it got back to Rory."
"You should have at least given me the opportunity to tell him, once you knew that other people knew. You knew it would have sounded better coming from me."
"No, Sebastian, I know it would have been better for you. That's not the same thing."
She was annoying me and she wasn't backing down.
"Seb," she continued, "I know that most people cave in when you come storming over and read them the riot act. I know that when you lay on your full, strong, determined, overprotective American boyfriend routine, people cower before you. But I'm not Joshua Peterly. And I don't mean to sound like a total bitch, but you need to step back for a moment and realize that I have absolutely no responsibility to you. I have loyalty to Rory, who has been my friend for years. I found out that his current boyfriend had slept with another member of our year. I also knew that the rumor was going around school. And I also knew, or assumed, that you hadn't told him yet. I'm sorry if the way Rory found out was personally inconvenient for you, Sebastian, but you really only have yourself to blame. You had seven months to tell him β and you didn't. So I did instead. And, if I had to, I'd do exactly the same thing all over again. Now, if you don't mind, I have to get on with this work and if you were to take a moment to think about what you're saying to me, you'd realize that you're being completely ridiculous in asking me to put your agenda above Rory's. Have a nice day."
I stared at her for a second; she held my gaze. She was smug, imperious and arrogant. But she was also absolutely right. I'd made a fool of myself coming over here. I nodded, got up and left the table. She went back to her homework, without giving me a second glance.