I had found him through a friend of a friend of a friend. He didn't look like much when we met in Starbucks to discuss particulars. In fact, he didn't look at all like what I wanted.
"So, how did you settle on this?" he asked me.
"It was a costume party," I answered. "I hadn't, you know, been much interested in or turned on by anything until then, and . . ."
"Well, you look mighty fine to me," he said. "Surely you've gotten offers by real studs."
"Yeah, but this was different," I said.
I was, of course, flattered by what he was saying, but he didn't turn me on at all. He was a bit on the rangy side and more hippy like than authoritarian, so it really was kind of a waste of breath. In fact, this whole idea, this obsession, seemed a waste of breath and effort now that I'd actually moved to do something about it. Perhaps it was just as well. Maybe the obsession would die as quickly as it had been born. But it hadn't died yet. I still melted at the mere thought of it.
"As I was saying," I continued, "I was at this party and several of the guys were beefy and were in uniforms and that really got to me. And then they got a little rough, and that got to me even more." I stopped there.
"And?" he said, egging me on to say it.
"Well, I went wild and jacked off like I'd never done before." Another pause.
"And?" he repeated.
He was going to make me say it. "And I want it like that again. I checked around, and it led to you. But now that we've met, I don't thinkβ"
"It would cost you a hundred bucks," he cut in. that's if we're including bondage, which is what I was told you wanted included."
"Excuse me?"
"Here. You'll paste this in the back window of your car when you want it and go cruising a little above the speed limit down on 301 on that stretch between the cutoff from Route 50 to the beaches and the Maryland-Delaware line. Afterward, if it goes through, you'll mail a check to this address made out to this name." He was taking a cardboard sign and a slip of paper out of his knapsack. On the sign, in big, black capital letters was printed the term BARUF. What sort of word was baruf, I wondered.
But while I was thinking about that, he was getting ready to leave.
"You mean you're notβ?" I said, confused and not as sure about this as I was when I started calling around.
"With me? Hell, no, kid," he said with a snort. "Just do what I told you."
"But the payment. How can you be sure I'll pay up."
"Oh, I'm sure. If you get the service, I'm sure you'll pay up. You'll see what I mean. You'll get the idea of what it means if you don't pay up."
Bewildered, I watched him walk out of the coffee shop. I picked up the sign. It was on a board about eight inches by eleven. It could probably be seen at a good distance. Baruf. What in the hell does baruf mean, I thought again.
But, hey, I hadn't been turned on and creamed like at the costume party in, like, forever. And it was worth a try. I had come this far with it. It was worth a try.