When you are a farm boy from a small town in a rural area, you don't talk about feeling different from the other kids. I had learned to talk about girls like I meant it; I didn't.
I chose a college in a good-sized college town, far from the farm. I was hoping to see a different side of life. And I did. There was an active LGBT group and occasionally I saw a same-sex couple or two walking across campus. Still, it wasn't exactly San Francisco.
I'd gone to my share of parties, mixers, frat houses, and so on. I didn't hold out a lot of hope or expectations β the hooking up was overwhelmingly hetero, of course, and that obviously was not my scene. But or lack of anything better to do, here I was...another night at another frat.
That's when I saw one of the seniors I'd spotted around campus.
He was loud, always talking big, and had a braying laugh that fit his wide, toothy smile. He was on one of the school sports teams, amazingly hot, and probably significantly out of my league.
He looked over at me and smiled. I looked away nervously, and he laughed and walked over. Damn.
"Welcome. You new?"
"Um, yeah."
"I'm Connor. Got a name?" He stuck out his hand.
I shook it and said "yeah, of course. I'm Scott."
"Well, welcome to Alpha Epsilon, Scott."
We talked for a few moments about the frat, the kind of people that joined, and the service projects they liked to work on.
"I'll tell you the best thing about us, Scott. Play your cards right, and one of three things can happen."
"What are those three things?" I asked, taking the bait.
"First, we might let you pledge. Second, you might get one of these lovely ladies in bed tonight." He broke off to wave and smile at someone across the room.
After a moment, I said "what's the third thing?"
He lowered his voice and whispered, "depending on what you like, you might get one of these hot guys in bed tonight..."
I dropped my jaw in shock and blushed. Shit. Connor smiled as he saw me react.
"Ahhhh, ok, number three for you, huh? Don't worry, man, we're open minded here. Everyone is welcome."
"No, man, it's not like that, I just... I... Well, I don't really know what I like." Why was I being so open with this guy? I didn't know, but I just felt like it was ok to tell him.
"First timer, huh? That's cool. This is the place to come to fix that!" He draped his arm over my shoulder and guided me toward the kegs. "Need a refill? A little 'liquid courage'?"
"No, I'm good. Still working on this one," I said, lifting my half-filled beer cup.
"Cool." His arm was still on my shoulder. It felt damn good. My cock was stirring.
Connor guided me toward another room, deeper in the house. As he led me through the house, a couple of his buddies looked at him β us β and smiled. One shot him the thumbs up. "Hey, Connor, man, who's your bud?"
"Derek, buddy..." He greeted him with a big "bro hug", slaps on the back and all. "This is Scott. It's his first year. Scott, Derek is one of our frat officers. He's in charge of recruiting new members."
"Aw, c'mon, Connor. You do just fine recruiting new guys, too." He winked and they both laughed. I got the sense there was a joke I was missing, but it hadn't quite connected. "Well, nice to meet you, Scott. Hopefully there's some Alpha Epsilon in you." They laughed loudly as Connor led me away.
I didn't hear Derek turn to another brother and say "Connor will make sure of it before the night is over."
I walked deeper into the house with Connor. Toward the back, we found a quiet corner in the library.
"Scott," he half-whispered, scanning the crowd surreptitiously, "I'm glad you're here."
I was startled. "You... you're glad I'm...? Why?"
"I saw you at the fundraiser for the theatre. And I know you've been here once or twice. And I saw you in the library." He smiled. "The biology section."
My jaw slackened. "I can't believe you noticed me," I said, laughing.
Connor looked me straight in the eye. "Yes, I noticed you. More than once. Dude, you're...well, I don't know, but I definitely noticed you."
He was suddenly really really close to me.
"Connor..."
"Shhh," he said, putting his finger over my lips. The touch was electric. His finger held there, then slid gently over my lips, tracing their curves. His hand slid to my cheek. His thumb stroked my lips as he hovered over me, closer.
"Scott, I have to ask you a question."
I gulped nervously. "What question?"
He looked straight into my face and whispered, "are you gay?"
I paused a long time. This could be very very dangerous. Was he baiting or mocking me?
"Y... Yes," I finally said in a hush. "Yes, Connor, I am. Please...don't..."
"Don't what?"
"Don't humiliate me."
His eyes bugged and his jaw dropped. I felt his hand grip my head firmly and turn my face toward his. "Humiliate you?? I would never do that, Scott. Oh my God, is that what you thought?"
I nodded nervously.
"Scott... I'm gay, too," he said. "And you are fucking hot..." He was leaning closer with each word. Our faces were practically touching. "I can't resist a hot blond farm boy..." he murmured.
And then he whispered: "And I have been hoping to meet you for a while." On the last word he closed the last distance between us and pressed his lips to mine.
It was an amazing kiss. I felt his tongue play on my lips and I opened my mouth to him. As he crushed his lips on mine, his tongue shot into my mouth and tangled with mine.
I backed away, shocked. "Connor... I... shit, man, it's..."
He looked wounded. "You're not into it." He sighed, disappointed. "I'm sorry."
"No!" I yelped. "No, that's not it, it's just... dude, we're in the middle of the room."
A huge smile broke out on his face. "You want to take this where we'll be alone?"
I nodded. He grabbed my hand and half-dragged me from the room, headed for the back stairs. Two flights up and we were at his bedroom door. He spun me around, grabbed my head and planted his lips on mine again. Since there was no one around, I wrapped my arms around him and let it go. I kissed him hard, tangling my tongue with his. He shoved on the door and we half walked, half stumbled into his room. He kicked the door closed with his foot.
He fell onto the bed, dragging me with him. We wrapped ourselves around each other, kissing and hugging for a good half hour. At some point he stripped my shirt over my head, then his joined it on the floor. He was muscled without being ridiculous or showy, and damn his body felt good.
At some point he rolled on his back, pulling me on top of him. His hands slid over my ass and pulled me into him.
"Scott, I won't beat around the bush. I want to fuck. I want us to go all the way, but..."
I was stunned into silence. He waited.
"Scott, are you a virgin?" he finally asked.