Seamus

Author's notes: Thanks to all those who have taken the time to send me feedback, both anonymous and public. I love hearing what people think of my work, good or bad. It's so much better than looking at the voting tally and trying to figure out what I did wrong...

I have re-written this piece several times over, trying to get the right mix of dark and light down on paper, and iron out the inconsistencies of character that arise when emotions run high. While Neill's behaviour is becoming increasingly erratic, angry and somewhat abusive, I do not want Seamus to appear a wimp. Whether or not that's achieved is another matter :-)...

*

Neill stood outside Liam's door. As I approached, I saw a ripple of uncertainty flicker through the muscles of his tanned face. He pursed his lips in an effort to look determined, smoothing his cheeks into a firm expression. However, the features above betrayed his true feelings. A mixture of sadness and fear creased his forehead and made his eyes unnaturally wet. Nervously, he brushed his shaggy hair out of his left eye. His other hand balled in front of his chest, hovering as if to protect him from an oncoming attack.

"Neill, just leave off," I hissed, catching his fist in mine. His hot skin was slick with sweat. Rather than gripping, my fingers slid over the pronounced bones of his wrist. "I don't need you to fight my battles." A growl rose in his throat as he shook my hand away. I tried again, "Come on, Neill, I'll deal with Liam. Let's not do anything stupid!"

"Oh, just shut up, Seamus." Both fists shunted me into the wall opposite, driving the wind from my bruised chest. "Go back to our room if you're such a pussy."

I heaved a breath into my empty lungs, then lashed back, "Hey, don't talk to me like that! Why don't you just shut up and listen to me? He's got me in enough fucking trouble as it is. Neither of us are going in there. We're going to go back to the room and you're gonna calm down. Okay?"

"You can't tell me what to do!"

I'm surprised that Liam didn't come to the door. We were making a lot of noise. "Neill, I'm not going to let you do something this stupid. Let's just sleep on it!"

"Is everything okay?" With a flash of anger, I turned to see Nathan's head sticking out Jill's door. His pale skin was slightly heat blotched and his hair looked messier than ever. He didn't appear to have clothing on.

Neill's jaw gaped. "Yeah, we're fine!" I shouted. I grasped Neill's elbow tightly before he could object and used it to drag him down the shabby hallway to our room.

Once inside, Neill wheeled on me in fury. "Why'd you have to do that?" His hands clawed over my face and chest, driving a shriek from my lips. I shoved him away, a little harder than I meant to. With a bone-numbing 'clunk', his lower back contacted the sharp corner of his chest of drawers. He let out an agonised yelp that curdled my guts. Pain carved his features.

"I'm sorry. Neill, man, sorry," I apologised, but I knew it wasn't enough. A glance at his reddened face and tear glazed eyes revealed an uncontrollable anger burning deep within. All I wanted to do was calm him down before I did something else I might regret.

"Seamus, why d'you have to be such a fucking bastard?" Neill snarled.

I caught Neill's fists as he tried to strike me and forced him against the foot of his bed. My head felt as if my mind was swimming, yet somehow my legs held me. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I pushed you. Settle down..." He continued to beat his palms on my chest, striking already painful bruises. "What's wrong? What's going on with you?" I asked him, staring into his deep blue eyes. I smiled, or at least tried to; my grazed face was stinging from the contact of his fingernails.

He avoided my gaze, staring anywhere but me. "Nothing, idiot," he spat.

I took a step back, breathing heavily. "Yeah, there is. You're angrier at Liam than I am. It's got me thinking that it's not me you want to get revenge for."

"What?" Neill snapped. His hands propelled me, stumbling, across the room until I struck my desk. It hurt like hell, causing my thigh-backs to numb for a second. "You've got shit for brains, you know that?"

Angrily, I grabbed his shoulders and tried to get him to look at me. "Don't talk like that! What the hell did he do to you?"

Neill's eyes focussed on mine, the pupils like tiny dots floating in a sea of blue. "Nothing!" He manoeuvred himself away from me, into the centre of the room, between our beds. I followed, clasping one arm across his chest from behind. My other hand tried to massage the bony area where he'd hit the drawers. He moaned and twitched. I half expected him to turn and whack me. When he didn't, I pulled him closer and let my head sink over his shoulder. As my warm breath caressed his cheek, he stiffened up, averting his face from my lips. I used both hands to lightly stroke his stomach and help him relax. Slowly, over a few minutes, I felt the tension drift from his muscles. His face turned to mine, so I gently kissed the corner of his lips. "Mmmm..." he whispered. "That's nice."

Then I did something stupid. I shouldn't have pushed the issue. "Tell me what he did," I whispered back. "It's okay."

"Fuck it, Seamus," Neill swore. He immediately bristled, breaking my hug to turn on me. "Aren't I allowed to get upset because he got my car towed? Because he beat you up? 'Cos he fucking made a pass at you when you couldn't stop him? He's been an arsehole to us all year, to everyone. He's got it coming!" With a sudden, furious force, he shoved me back toward his bed. I was caught completely off guard. His frenetic hands rammed my chest, forcing me down on the mattress. My aching head knocked against the solid concrete wall adjacent to his bed. Neill didn't seem to care. For comfort's sake, I shuffled over and drew my legs up as well.

I was tempted to encircle myself in a ball, but Neill had other ideas. It all happened so fast I didn't get a chance to defend myself. As I tried to sit up, muscles cramping my abdomen painfully, he leapt onto the bed. His body mass crushed me into the too-soft mattress, grinding my back against the slatted bed-base beneath. "Neill, what the fuck?" I grunted, knowing I was at his mercy. "Get off!"

In a quick movement, Neill manoeuvred himself so that his knees were either side of me, effectively trapping my arms. His warm buttocks weighed on my chest, whilst his hands firmly pressed my shoulders down. Panic swept over me in a haze of heat as my ribs refused to expand sufficiently to breathe easily. I glared up into unforgiving eyes. I lowered my gaze, still protesting and half-hoping he'd give up soon. Without really being conscious of what I was looking at, I stared at his cock, which seemed to be boring through a wet spot to the side of his trackpants. As realisation dawned, I struggled more, getting increasingly horny and scared in equal measure. My heart seemed dislocated from my chest, pounding between my ears like it was going to explode.

"Come on, Neill- Get the fuck off!" I failed to see much in the way of a response. However, as I tried to slow my breathing and the minutes ticked over (or at least they seemed to), I saw his chiselled lips quiver and could feel his soft buttocks shivering ever so slightly through my thin t-shirt. There was that betraying line ticking between his eyebrows as he struggled to keep his expression unreadable. Suddenly, the mask cracked into a grin.

In a last, desperate protest, I gasped, "It's not funny, get off, damn it! You're hurting me!" I shook beneath him, but couldn't escape.

Neill laughed. The ends of his hair brushed my skin as he lowered his face to mine. He lifted his hands from my shoulders and cupped my ears, forcing my eyes to stay locked to his blue stare. He took a deep breath and slowly spoke. "You've got to understand." His lips brushed the side of my face, teasing the skin.

"What? Understand what?" I asked, frantically.

"I care about you," Neill hissed, gripping the sides of my face tightly. "If you're hurt, it hurts me, and it makes me so goddamn furious! I just want to beat the snot out of the bastard for everything he's done to you! I know you think you can deal, but it doesn't stop me getting angry, okay?"

"And you had to sit on me to tell me?" I wheezed. My throat was very dry from breathing shallowly. "I can't get far as it is."

He kissed my sensitive lips and broke away as I began to respond. "No, I had to sit on you to get you right where I wanted you." His smirk coaxed a smile to my lips. "So do you believe me?" As he spoke, he reached behind his back and clumsily groped my bulge. My semi-hard cock immediately sprang further into life.

"Yeah..." I moaned, still completely bewildered.

Neill squeezed my sensitive cockhead hard, though not painfully so. "I said 'do you believe me'?" I could tell by the satisfied, smug expression of his mouth and cheeks that he was enjoying himself.

Despite the pressure, I could feel my cock continuing to grow. Blood seemed to boil in my groin. "Okay," I croaked. "I believe you! I just think that as much as both of us want to kick the crap out of him, it's only gonna make it a hundred times worse, yeah?"

For a few moments, Neill just stared at me. A strange, agonising sadness seemed to cloud his expression. I should have realised then that something was very wrong, but I was stupidly more focussed on the hand pinching my cock. "I suppose so," he said, dolefully. "You like this don't you?"

"You're suffocating me," I grumbled.

"Oh, shit, sorry." Neill hurriedly climbed off me. He sat beside me, running his fingers through my dark hair. "You know, I'm so angry about everything that's happened. I can't understand how you can be so calm."

I shifted over a little so that he could lie beside me. My mind flicked over what had happened over two hours earlier. It's difficult to describe the mishmash of guilt, disgust, fear and anger rippling beneath the surface, or even the way I was trying to process it. I suppose I was in what they call denial. I wanted to forget everything Liam had done. I thought I could if I tried to pretend it hadn't happened. It doesn't work that easily; it always comes back to bite you in the bum. Still, that doesn't happen until you stop to think. And if you don't think, it doesn't happen... at least not until you sleep.

"Let's just shut up about it, ay?" I told Neill in a final tone. "I'm fine."

Neill smiled at me and his hand ran down my side, tracing the folds in my t-shirt until he got to my waist-band. "You sure?" he asked. My fingertips dappled over his chest, finding the hard nubs of his nipples through his blue shirt. He whimpered slightly through smiling red lips. Despite his bodily response, I could see disbelief in his eyes, but he wasn't going to push the issue.

"Yep."

"Um, sorry I got so angry..." Neill whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt you earlier, I just wanted to- I don't know, fix it for you... I'll make it up to you, promise."

"Oh yeah, I'll make sure of that," I told him with narrowed eyes, glad to see a noticeable shiver ripple through his body. His head flopped back, exposing his Adam's apple. His knowing gaze didn't leave mine. "Come on then," I heard him whisper; maybe he thought it would help.

My response was exaggerated. "Fuck? What, now? You've just half-killed me, man! Look, I just gotta get a drink. My throat's sticking to itself." I clambered over Neill and stepped across the room to retrieve my drink bottle. My head ached a little and my feet were unsteady on the carpet.

"So..." I eyed my sexy room-mate. He lay on his back, hair spilt over the pillow like a sunburst. His brilliant blue eyes gleamed against his natural tan. My gaze travelled down his chest, encased in a pale blue university t-shirt, to his baggy grey-marl trackpants. The thin fabric sheathed his hard, wet cock like an extra skin. I licked my lips in anticipation.

"So..." Neill paused and smiled at me, fighting away the doubtful clouds in his eyes. "So are you coming to bed with me or what?"

I grinned. "I don't think I should reward such bad behaviour."

"You fucking pushed me into those drawers. That hurt!" It was almost a growl. He stood up and advanced on me.

"Don't get angry. You're supposed to be making it up to me, remember?" Yeah, I know; I was being mean. I just wanted to forget. I wasn't trying to use Neill, I wanted him to forget Liam too.

I did forget, as soon as our lips touched. I put my arms around Neill, kissing him deeply and passionately. There was a warm feeling inside me that I have never felt with anyone else, not even Jill. The love, or lust, between us was like a magnet; as soon as we got a breath's distance from one another, we couldn't keep apart. Within the seal of our kiss, our hot tongues twisted and fought. I felt him shiver against me and my body responded in kind, arcing and rubbing against him. Everywhere he touched me, even through my clothing, tingled with heat.

The drink hadn't helped my dizziness. My legs gave out and I wound up pulling Neill down with me. The spell passed in an instant. Once he was sure I was alright, we laughed and fought because we could, not caring about the clonks and bangs we made as various sweaty limbs hit the floor.

He ripped off his shirt and lowered himself so that my mouth brushed his furry chest. I hungrily licked his golden chest hair, getting his skin hot and wet. His curls glistened in the light, slick and shiny with my saliva. His beautiful dark nipples hardened before my eyes. I teased him, drawing slick lines around each nipple with my tongue but not actually touching the sensitive flesh. He shivered delightfully, causing my sweating body to writhe at his response, my legs wrapped around his. Neill kept his cock from me until I finally devoured his left nipple, drawing a moan that vibrated my bones. He arched his pelvis down to rub mine. Heat shot through me as I felt his hungry cock press into my hip. A groan of, "I love you- Fuck- Neill," left my lips. He murmured back in kind, manoeuvring himself so that our hard members brushed in a rush of pleasure. The fact that it was through precum-dampened clothing only added to the blissful tremors.

Neill suddenly rocked back on his heels and stood up. I whimpered in disappointment. His blue eyes focussed upon mine, eyebrows raised, as if to say, 'get over it'. "Are you feeling all right with this? The bruises? Your face looks like shite."

"Thanks mate," I muttered, rolling my green eyes. "You really know how to boost my ego... Yeah, I'm fine. You? Your back?"

"You might have to give it a rub later, return the favour for this morning." He chuckled as he fumbled with his socks, bending to give me a good view of his tight arse stretching the light fabric of his pants.

"Nice arse." I stumbled to my feet and gave him a pat on a firm cheek, drawing a scandalised look from between his legs. "I'll fuck that while I'm at it... After you've done mine, of course. Can't have you missing out." I followed his lead, stripping until I too was shirt and sock-less.

He growled, bending up to kiss the hollow between my collar bones. Straightening up, he leant hot his forehead against mine as I caressed his shoulders. "You-" Neill laughed. "Oh, man. 'Course I'll fuck your arse, but I didn't think you were too keen on that."

Heat rose to my face, spread down my neck and across my chest. "I am," I protested. "I love everything you do to me." With a low chuckle, Neill pulled away. His fingers fumbled with the drawstring of his trackpants, purposely prolonging the action for my benefit. "What are you staring at?" he asked.

My eyes rose, hungrily memorising each ridge, curve and hair on his body. They traced over the hard piece of meat bulging diagonally across his pants and followed the ridging of curled golden hair emerging from his waistband to the triangle at his breast. Finally, I gazed at his face. In the midst of the mad pulsing of my heart, I had a brain wave. I was determined that this time, at least for a few moments, I would be in control. I don't like to be pushed around, and though I loved him, and I had basically given as good as I got when we argued, I still felt that I had a point to prove.

"Nothing," I said. "Get on the bed."

"What?" Neill's eyes flashed to my face, which I fought to keep straight.

"I said, 'Get on the bed'. Take those pants off and get to bed!" With one hand, I pushed him backwards. My other hand ripped apart the knot holding his waistband and yanked the pants down by one baggy knee. His cock was pulled down and then flicked back up against his stomach. I desperately wanted to stare, but for the moment, I ignored it. He staggered out of the puddle of clothing and climbed up onto the mattress, visibly shaking.

"Scared, or just cold?" I asked with a smile.

Neill grinned back. "Horny as hell," he whispered. "So are you going to take yours off, too?"

"Course," I mocked. "In good time." With a perverse smirk on my face, I slowly edged my pants over my hips, pushing the hardened tip of my cock down with the elastic waistband, so that it remained unexposed. The taut, tanned skin above my groin was revealed to his greedy eyes. I let my pants sit where they were and stared at him with raised eyebrows.

Neill licked his lips. "Get on with it," he said. I could see the air surging in and out of his lungs, causing the tensed muscles of his abdomen to lightly contort and flex. His big cock rested there, the crimson head gooey with precum and seemingly pulsing in time to his heart. Lower still, his pinkish balls glittered with the wiry, golden hair that grew all over his groin. It was a beautiful sight.

I raised my fingers to massage his bulbous head, drawing the slick foreskin over the sensitive skin. An audible groan vibrated his throat as a thread of precum bled down his shivering cock. I ran the fluid to the base of his shaft with my fist, watching the sweet smile on his face spread like honey. The sticky, hot, ridged skin felt so good in my grip. My mouth watered; god, this felt so natural. Ideas of control and domination flew out the window.

Ducking to my knees, I motioned Neill to move to the edge of his bed. He sat with knees either side of me, and fed me his blood-engorged cock. My tongue came out and flicked over the hot tip, tastebuds delighting in the flavours I encountered. I bathed him in saliva and licked my lips, ready to fully taste my treat. He gave a nice, shuddery groan when his big head forced my lips wide. "That's it...Oh god, Seamus... Yes..."

I sucked and slurped on Neill's cock in earnest, taking more of his thinner-than-the-head shaft with every thrust of my mouth. My cheeks bulged out by his plum-like head. His gentle hands ran through my sweaty hair, guiding me forwards to his groin until his head plugged my throat and tickled my tonsils. I couldn't help but gag, moaning and jerking his cock in the confines of my tight, wet throat. I didn't pull back. Spit trickled out of my moaning mouth as I fought to relax my protesting throat muscles. I pressed forwards. The rubbery, hot bulb of his head slid past the hilt of my tongue and down my throat. My forehead leant against his abs, feeling the muscles flex under the skin. The coarse hair at the base of his cock tickled my lips and nose. I inhaled his musky, sweaty groin scent; he smelt damn good!

My mouth took all nine or so inches of Neill's cock, then slowly, agonisingly slowly, pulled back with my tongue lapping over the thick vein on his underside. "You freak, man," Neill muttered. He later told me why he called me 'freak' every time I managed to deep-throat him. I was the first person to be able to take all of him, both in my mouth and inside me. It had been somewhat of a problem, like some girls said it hurt, 'cos of the length.