Hi everyone. Sorry it's been a while since the last chapter. I've just been really busy with studying. Thanks for all your lovely comments, I really appreciate them. On to the story...
I must admit that most of my thoughts were occupied by my secret admirer. I spent countless hours going through various people that it could be. I didn't know whether to just forget about it or wait and see what would happen. I was suddenly imagining scenarios where it would be some guy who could sweep me off my feet, take me to heaven and back and we would live happily ever after in a dream house by the sea with a dog and my kids coming to visit as often as possible. Yeah, so maybe not exactly real life, but I could dream the fairytale life couldn't I?
Anyway, I didn't even know how my kids would react if they knew I was bi-sexual. What if I was to have a relationship with a guy one day, would they accept it or would they freak out and never speak to me again? The thought of that nearly gave me a heart attack, so I decided to quit thinking such thoughts.
At dinner about a week later the mood seemed to be a little tense. Laura was pre-occupied with her own wandersome thoughts and didn't say much. Joe, my eldest boy was whispering quietly with Darren about something. I figured it was teenage stuff. I really admired both my boys. They were so close in age and sometimes it caused arguments no end, but other times they were like twins and inseparable. Joe was only four months old when we found out Laura was expecting again. To say it was a shock was an understatement. Back then we didn't realize she could get pregnant so quickly afterwards so we didn't use protection. Not that we complained or anything, but money was a little tight. I always wanted a boy, even when I was younger I always longed for a 'little me' who would follow me around, who I could take to sports games, play with cars and build things. (I guess comes from having 3 sisters) That rarely happened with my boys, although I went to everything my kids did and played. Joe loves his music and Darren, well anything in the car or bike department is his passion. Hannah, well she's my little baby. She's a mummy's girl at heart, but still my angel.
I was staring at my three precious gems and just thinking about what I would do without them in my life and how proud I was of them, when I was nudged in the arm by Laura. I finished my meal and stood up. I grinned at my children and I could see the mock horror on their faces as they knew what was coming.
"Awww Daaaaaaaaad." They moaned, trying to hide their faces.
I moved and leaned over to give them sloppy wet kisses on the cheek. "I love you kids, more than anything else in the world." They chanted that bit with me. I laughed along with Laura. Okay, so I was silly sometimes.
After that, things became quiet but I could tell that the boys were nervous about something. I wondered if it was personal, but they kept glancing my way and whispering again. Did they know about the secret admirer? Had they overheard something? I saw Joe blush a few times when he looked over my way and wondered if it was about sex or relationships. I was always honest with them about stuff like that. From day one, I taught them to love and respect their bodies. When they were old enough, I told them about puberty, masturbation, sex, love and all the bits in between. I'd always made it clear that if they had any questions, they could come to me and never feel embarrassed. Laura had the job of teaching Hannah only the month or so before hand, about periods and horrible stuff like that. I know I was a little worried, as the boys were at that age when hormones were playing up. I'd lost my virginity at fourteen, and knots started to form in my stomach when I thought of Joe having sex so early. I wondered if they both masturbated together or went further like me and Andy did. Obviously that was different, we were friends, but still, I knew even then that it happened with siblings, especially ones so close in age.
Surprisingly, the thought didn't bother me, if they did, I was glad they had someone to share it with. It got me thinking that maybe I would have another chat to them soon about mutual masturbation and sex at an early age. I wondered whether I should tell them about my own experiences with gay sex, just so they know that it's okay to experiment. But then again, would it just freak them out? It made me wonder whether one of my own kids could be gay or Hannah a lesbian. Some say it's in the genes. I had always brought them up to treat everyone as equal, but it made me worry that they would think differently of me if they knew that side of my personality or nature or whatever it is. Would they still love and respect me as their father?
Oh the joys of parenting!
******************
That night whilst in the bath, I thought about my teenage years. Some might say they were the best years of my life, learning, experimenting and growing, but it was also difficult for me admitting who I was. Okay, so I was attracted to both sexes, but if I had to choose, men would have been my priority, but I wanted a family, so met and fell in love with Laura.
Thinking about my earlier experiences with the male form got my imagination going overdrive. I just love the way a man's skin feels, so hard, but also soft and strong. I love to feel a male body spooning behind me with his dick nestled against my lower back or butt and his strong hands gripping me tight over my chest. I longed to feel the stubble of a man's face when waking up in the morning and catching a morning kiss. To feel him kissing, caressing, loving my body and me loving him back from head to toe. How I missed those days.
I noticed that my hands began to roam over my body as these thoughts passed through me. It always turned me on so I let myself feel all over. It had been a long time since I'd really loved my body in that way. Oh yeah, so I'd jerked off like every guy on a daily basis, but not took time to make a long session out of it. I liked to be teased and held back from orgasm for as long as possible. I played with my nipples as I watched my dick pulse and throb half out of the water. I grabbed the soap and made my chest slippery, running my fingers gently along the shaft, causing tingles throughout my body. My hand held onto the shaft and watched as I squeezed a little pre-cum out of the tip, holding my foreskin back. I slowly stroked myself as my left fingers played with my nipples, then to my balls, where I played and held them for a while. Eventually, I spread my legs wider and adjusted my body a little so I could tease my hole.
It had been a while since I'd been able to do this and I wanted to make sure I made it good. Squeezing my dick again, I brought a finger from my left hand to my puckered hole and rubbed it gently, causing pleasure to race through me. I tried to stifle a moan as I put more pressure on and entered my soapy finger. The sensations were incredible as I pushed it right inside, causing my dick to leak more pre-cum. Doing this made me realize how much I had actually missed being penetrated and wish I still had my dildo (that Laura threw away).
With my finger still fucking my hole, I entered a second and slowly pushed it in and out. My right hand quickly stroked my cock, which was leaking profusely now. Taking some pre-cum, I licked it off my finger, letting another low moan escape my throat. I love the taste of my own cum, it makes me so much hornier. With my legs now either side of the bath, I led down lower so I could fuck myself harder. I knew that I couldn't hold back this time as much as I wanted to. I was so turned on that I needed to shoot so badly. My right hand grabbed and yanked on my throbbing dick until I couldn't take anymore.
With a groan, I felt my anus clench around my fingers and watched as cum unloaded onto my chest and abdomen, finally dribbling after four or five shots. My orgasm kept rocking through my body as I pulled my fingers out and attempted to sit back up.
"Wow!" I said to myself quietly. I heard a loud knock at the bathroom door. I quickly washed, dried and wrapped a towel around my waist before exiting the bathroom. Darren was stood outside. He had this stupid grin on his face, so I figured he'd heard me. I kept my cool and didn't blush.
"Bathroom's yours, Son." I said, patting him on the shoulder.
He was still grinning. "Enjoy yourself in there, dad?" He asked. I looked back in surprise, but shrugged and gave him a smile then a wink.
"Sure, just like you do." The grin left his face and was replaced with a deep crimson blush. I let out a chuckle. Busted!
**************************
The following week flew by without a word from my admirer. I figured that they had given up bothering me and somehow let it be. I was actually quite disappointed and felt a little rejected in some way. Maybe I had it in my mind that this person, either male or female, could free me out of the loveless marriage and make me happy again.
It was actually on a Monday, a couple of weeks later that I suddenly and unexpectedly heard from my admirer. Going to work, I entered my office to find another gorgeous bunch of flowers and this time a card attached. I sat down and opened it up. The writing was hand written, but I figured it would be the shop lady's writing, rather than the actual admirer.
Daniel. I know this has been troubling you, and I know you have been trying to figure out who I am. One day soon, I hope to tell you to your face.
